Love Is a Four Letter Word Page #8

so I went out and got even.

God I am so tired.

I think I'll take a nap

behind the counter for...

a couple hours if that's ok with...

you.

You must be Luke.

Who are you?

Dale.

I used to work here. I'm

covering Zeke's shifts...

until they find a replacement.

Where's Zeke?

I dunno. He quit.

He quit?

Yes. And no you cannot

sleep behind the counter.

What are you doing here?

Didn't you get my messages?

I've been busy Tinkerbelle.

Look Guttersnipe, I'm sorry about

what I said about your parents.

That was below the belt.

Oh. Thanks.

You don't mean you came

all the way out here...

to apologize did you?

Zeke, please come back

to work. I miss you.

And that Dale person

is scaring me.

Luke, I didn't quit because of you.

You didn't?.

Of course not. I got a better job.

You did?

Yes.

Doing what?

It's very exciting actually.

The administration at

the school I spoke at...

offered me a job as

a student councillor.

They might even pay for

me to finish my degree.

But, it's in the Bronx.

That is correct.

But, what about me?

This isn't about you Luke.

I'm doing something I believe in.

Be happy for me.

I'll miss you.

We can still be friends.

We just won't work together.

Will we hang out?.

Sure we will.

And for what it's worth,

I think you're normal.

I am not normal. I'm exceptional.

I mean inherently normal.

Normal enough to exist

outside of the gay ghetto.

I tricked in Jersey once.

You know what?. I gotta go.

But wait. We have

things to talk about.

Like what?.

Nico, for example. He

told me he loves me.

What do I do?

Do you love him?

I think I might.

So, I should tell him then? Right?.

Is that what you're saying?

I don't know Luke.

I shouldn't tell him?

Do you really know this guy?

Do we ever really know anyone?

He told you he was getting

his MFA in painting...

from the New School, right?

Don't tell me the New

School has no MFA program?

Oh, they have an MFA program.

In creative writing.

There you are.

Cheers.

To what?.

Us. Happy one month anniversary.

You've been counting days?

Yes. And I wanted to

show you this gallery.

I've been thinking about buying it.

Sounds expensive.

Well, I've always

wanted my own gallery.

I've been saving up.

And Christopher said he'd

help put the money together.

Christopher?

Ciccone. Madonna's brother.

You know Madonna?

Well we've hung out a few times.

She's a sweetheart.

The thing is, Christopher

used to be in love with me.

So, I'm hoping it

won't be a problem.

Anyway, he says he

really likes my work...

and wants to help out.

Those paintings at your house...

Yes?

Are they even yours?

What did you say?

Did I stutter?

Well, what do you

mean by that Luke?

Why don't you tell me Stephen?

What the f***.

You don't think those are mine?

I spoke to Zeke. The

New School has no

MFA program in painting.

Zeke's a f***ing freak, ok?

Look I never said...

My degree is at the New School.

The MFA is in

conjunction with Parsons.

You know, this isn't

the first time you...

f***ing tried to trick me Luke.

You have a real problem.

This isn't the first time

I caught you lying to me.

Did I ever say that

I wasn't a hustler?.

So you take classes at Parsons?

My studio is at Parsons.

What's the address?

Oh f*** you Luke.

I just want to know where

the Parson's studio is.

Fifth and thirteenth, ok?

Do you want me to take you there?

Yes.

You know, you are unbelievable.

I don't have to prove

anything to you.

Happy Anniversary baby.

I gotta go.

Obviously we have some

serious trust issues here.

Yes we do.

I believe in you Luke.

Will you believe in me?

I'll call you later.

I want to give you my

faggotty attention?

Baby, let me make you feel right?

With my faggotty attention?

Baby all I need is the night?

Let the manhunt begin.

Loose a button, make a friend.

I don't think so.

Oh, homerun honey-lover.

Knick knack paddy whack,

give this dog a bone.

An undiscovered species.

Impossible.

I want to give you my

faggotty attention?

Baby, let me make you feel right?

With my faggotty attention?

My favourite flavour is

yum yum butterscotch.

Hi, I'm conducting

an informal survey.

Which is more important -

Length or girth?

There's only one answer.

Oh look. Fur.

I'm a mammal.

Oh que pasa Luke? What your

heart not in it tonight?

Yeah, I'm not into it tonight.

Que lindo.

The scent of a man.

Hey Mace -

Wanna take off and maybe

catch a movie at my place?

You're kidding.

Right?.

Actually no.

Luke, a libido is a

terrible thing to waste.

It's Tuesday night.

Luke, what did you expect?

Mace and I have always

been like this.

That's because you've always

been on the same track.

Maybe you're moving in

a different direction.

When are you going to settle down

with a man that deserves you?

What?. And give up all my boys?

Watch it Audrey. That's my line.

Did you sleep with

someone else last night?

You know you don't

need to ask that.

I know.

Hey boys.

I knew I could find you here.

I need some relationship advice

from the perfect couple.

I've really been making an effort

with my rent boy, Nico.

That's nice.

I just don't believe a thing he says.

He tells me it's me.

Maybe it is.

Well, what is it that he's saying

that you don't believe?

Small things. Big things.

Everything.

He told me he used to

hang out with Madonna...

and date her brother.

Well, maybe it's true.

Yeah, and maybe not.

You just can't anyone

f*** with you Luke.

Hey Marilyn. Great

party the other night.

Are you fully recovered?

There's no use. She won't talk.

What do you mean?

She came in about an hour ago,

made a double vodka cranberry,

and has been sitting over there

starring at it ever since.

I can't get a hold of Bart.

I just, I don't know what to do.

Let me take care of this.

Hey Marilyn.

If you're not going to sh*t

you need to get off the pot.

Some people are actually

into that stuff.

Can you believe that?.

Isn't that sick?

I guess I could pee on someone

if they really wanted me to.

Wouldn't necessarily turn me on.

Which I guess is a good thing,

cause it's kinda hard...

for a guy to pee if he's

turned on. Know what I mean?

Hey this is good stuff.

I guess if you're

going to drink again,

you ought to go for top shelf.

So do you want some?

Then you better give

me a good reason.

I can't let go and let God.

Excuse me?

I need to be in

control of everything.

And I feel like I'm loosing it.

I want to get married, I do.

But I'm scared.

And how do I know he's it?.

Or that any man is it?.

I might be a lesbian you know.

I kissed a girl.

Did you like it?.

It was soft.

So, you are a sexually confused,

obsessive compulsive,

control freak.

And now you don't know what

to do about what's his name.

This could call for a

drink. I admit that.

But what I always ask myself

in times like these -

Could I really give up dick

for a pair of titties?

I think not.

Could you?

No.

I thought so.

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