Love of My Life Page #7

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Why don't you expand

your research into a book?

Then people will read you

even after you're dead

and you'll be

immortalized as yourself

rather than as the lies that

other people write about you.

I'm just so in love with him.

It's like I'm brain dead,

but in a good way.

Like, you know,

how you used to feel for Dad.

And you can travel.

You and Zoe could

go to Machu Picchu.

Please, Kaitlyn, you-

There he is!

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- It's so good to see you.

So you're the slut who's

sleeping with my husband!

She's old enough to suck your dick,

she's old enough to meet your wife!

Will:
Kaitlyn's mom, I presume.

Pleased to meet you, both.

What, your little whore isn't allowed out

- without a grownup?

- Darla, don't-

I swear, Mom, I didn't know he was married.

I didn't know.

So you're not just a slut,

you're a stupid slut.

Will:
I was going to tell you,

then everything just

kept happening so fast,

especially with the news.

What news?

Her mother is dying.

- You're dying?

- Possibly.

Kaitlyn told me probably.

It is probably.

Your mother says possibly.

She's in denial.

I'm not in denial.

She's in denial about being in denial.

Kaitlyn told me probably,

she said she wanted her mother to meet me

before she died, said

it was really important.

So I didn't think it

was a good time to say

that I was married.

It is not my husband's job

to make your mom's dying wish

to see her loser daughter

find a man come true.

Grace:
I never said that.

I actually would have

preferred her to meet a woman.

Kaitlyn:
It wasn't even like that.

Will told me I was his soulmate.

He was just trying to f*** you, you idiot.

Have you taught her nothing?

Will:
It wasn't just about-

I-I thought

that-

[Stammering]

She's Richard Feekery's step-daughter.

The man is a goddamn genius, okay?

No, no, he's my half-sister's father.

He's not my step-father, it's different.

But I didn't think I would

have to decide so fast

and that suddenly she's dying, and then-

[Stuttering]

What about that guy from the gym?

This is not about the guy from the gym.

Oh, okay, so you could just

sleep with whoever you want-

Kaitlyn, I think we should leave.

Nice to meet you both.

Will:
Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn, come on.

[Uplifting Music]

This is why I don't date.

I thought it went really well.

Really?

Yes, it could have been so much worse.

I nearly ripped Tamara's face off.

That chapter in Dad's book was true?

Yeah.

I thought we were

Dante and Beatrice and

we were just a tweet.

Oh my god, there's so

much I haven't taught you.

That hysterical young woman was right.

Never trust a man who

won't spend the night.

You know, you are both so young.

You're gonna make many mistakes

which you can't even imagine,

but it will all settle down, I promise.

When?

When do you find the job

that you're gonna love

more than any other job?

And the man that we love

more than any other man?

Or woman.

That's not happening, Mom.

We have to let it go.

God, I had such a crappy job.

But I used to walk past

this beautiful building

and it just made me happy to see it.

Sort of made my day light.

And one day I said to myself,

I'm gonna become an architect.

I am gonna build beautiful buildings.

That's nice.

Why didn't you do it?

Why-why-why

didn't I do what?

Build beautiful buildings

instead of subdivisions?

Zoe.

No, it's alright.

You can ask me anything you want.

Um...

You know, I don't think I was good enough.

Did you try?

Of course I tried.

But maybe not hard enough.

Why not?

Well, I wanted you to be

well into your thirties

before I disillusioned you but

I suppose it takes me having a brain tumour

for you to actually want my advice.

That's actually true.

So what have I learnt from my life?

Um...

Most of us get tired of

having wild love affairs

full of screaming and

pain and getting fired

because we had sex on the desk.

We want to grow up,

construct a life.

So we have to put

ourselves in a box.

We have to choose a career.

We have to commit ourselves

to one relationship

rather than another.

But sometimes we can't fit all ourselves

into the box because people are huge.

We're-

we're giants.

We're full of rage and

joy and passion and...

Sometimes you start to feel

hunched up all the time,

like you're in a tiny

little prison cell and,

and you dream of putting

your fist through the box,

and you don't want to lose

it all and find that you've

got no career and no family

like those stupid people

who never grow up but...

[Soft Uplifting Music]

Maybe the box needn't be quite so small.

Maybe sometimes we can just stand up and-

and-and shake our fists and shout.

And maybe it won't all come down

if we yell,

f*** you world, here I am.

F*** you world here I am!

F*** you world here I am!

F*** you world

here I am.

[Uplifting Music]

[Ringing]

She's not answering.

That's odd.

She said she'd be back for lunch.

I'm starving.

Well don't look at me.

I don't cook.

Maybe she's run away to Machu Picchu.

Machu Picchu?

It's an ancient Incan city

on a mountain ridge in Peru.

Gracie wanted to go there.

This idiot took her to Disneyland.

Yeah, we had the time of

our lives in Disneyland,

and I lost three pounds.

No, no, she's probably,

you know, just having a nice

last day with the girls.

Yeah, let's hope so.

What does that mean?

He's worried her last f***

will be with someone else,

aren't you, sweetie?

I've got first dibs on the last f***.

Ah, I'm going out.

Do you have an appointment

to meet her somewhere?

No.

Okay, well, you can go then.

Oh, thanks.

Do you know what I want?

A nice glass of wine.

We don't keep alcohol in the house.

Oh don't you worry about that, my darling,

I'm a resourceful woman.

It's never hard for a woman

like me to find a drink.

[Uplifting Music]

Married men should be required by law

to wear wedding rings.

Mom loves beautiful buildings,

so she became an architect.

What do I like most?

Sex.

You don't want to think

of that as a profession.

[Knocking]

What?

Hey, is your mother here?

No.

Do you know where she is?

Why would I tell you?

You're trying to steal

her away from my father.

She has a point, Dad.

Yeah, alright, I shouldn't ask you.

Zoe, where's your mother?

Come on, your loyalty

should be to your father.

But Tom did buy me my IPhone,

and he took me to the

hospital that one time

when I fell off my pony,

and he was so encouraging when I told him

that I wanted to go on safari,

- and I just...

- Ah, for f***'s sake.

Popcorn.

I'm starving.

Don't look at us, we don't cook.

I cook.

Zoe:
He is a great cook.

I am a good cook.

What do you want?

What are you guys doing?

We're trying to figure out

what to do with our lives

in case mom isn't around to help us decide.

Alright, well,

let's start with an omelette.

[Soft Piano Melody]

Richard:
I always thought Gracie

and I would get back together.

Maybe at Zoe's wedding.

She'd look up as I walked

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