Love the Coopers Page #8

---

Yeah, congratulations.

HANK:
I just can't believe it.

Mmm. Stop saying that.

It's just...

Joe, do you really know

what you're getting into?

Yeah, I've never

been more certain.

Actually, I got down

on one knee when I proposed.

She had her doubts,

but I didn't.

Yeah, I knew it

the minute I met her.

Kiss her. Kiss her.

BO:
Come on.

Kiss!

AUNT FISHY:
Go ahead.

Give her a kiss.

Come on.

[CLAPPING]

[CHEERS]

AUNT FISHY:
That is a kiss.

NARRATOR:

When Emma entered the dining room,

she remembered to be the person

she wanted to become.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

You're finally here.

We've been missing you.

NARRATOR:

But when confronted by family,

she forgot.

Good, you started without me.

Don't get up.

I'm so sorry.

Dad and Eleanor both brought guests.

Oh, can I sit here

near you, Madison?

I'd like to sit next to the

prettiest girl at the table, is that okay?

You're such a...

ALL:
Madison?

NARRATOR:
As Aunt Fishy slept, she dreamt

of dancing at the Mocamba,

Christmas of '46,

knowing for certain

she could get any man in the place,

Never considering she would be

anything but young.

The night had become

so haunted by ghosts of Christmases past

that Rags began to stress-eat.

I think it's time

to go around the table

and tell each other our

wish for the new year, right?

Oh, God.

What?

What? I mean, everybody

loves this game and

we play it every year.

Everybody hates this game.

And no one has

the nerve to tell you.

Emma.

Does anyone enjoy this?

I'd just like to say,

it's so wonderful to see

my daughters together.

I remember when Charlotte

wouldn't even

be in the Christmas play,

unless they let Emma in too.

They would sneak down and eat

the cookies Effie made for Santa

and they thought

we didn't know about it,

but we did.

Dad, you're so right.

You're my sister,

and I love you

Okay.

Mash potatoes?

Did you get the B-I-K-E-S

for the K-I-D-S?

No. I thought we could go with

something hand-made this year.

Hank, we agreed on the bikes.

Right, I just...

You know...

Hand-made gifts are

from the soul, right?

They can't ride a soul to

school, they wanted bikes.

Kids want bikes.

Sam,

that was the best dinner

I ever had in my entire mouth.

I'm so glad

to hear that, Aunt Fishy.

How was the trip, dear?

Fantastic.

NARRATOR:
Rags knew he was eating

his emotions, but could not stop himself.

Could you pass

the, uh, green beans?

Yeah, sure.

You know what,

here, let me get them for you.

It's okay. I got it.

It's all right, I'm holding it.

I can get my own green beans,

it's fine.

Can I, please, just get

my own green beans?

Yes, just trying

to be helpful.

You know what

would have been helpful,

is if you would have done

what you said you're gonna do.

Now I have two helmets

sitting under my tree.

ANGIE:

This is exactly why I left.

HANK:
This is why you left?

ANGIE:
Yes.

Seems like you had a whole

lot more reasons than that,

'cause you left so fast

there was a cartoon swoosh cloud

in the doorway.

I should have left

a long time ago.

Stop fighting!

Why can't you stop fighting?

Why wont you stop?

All right, everybody,

let's just stop it, okay?

Just shut up and eat.

I mean, we all...

We love each other

and it's Christmas.

It's the most wonderful time

of the year!

[CRASHING]

SAM:
Storm took out

the power lines.

CHARLOTTE:
Stop it. No.

SAM:
Madison, don't be

scared, all right?

Bucky! Bucky!

Dad!

Dad?

[SOUL CAKE PLAYING]

[SIREN WAILING]

We're setting up

a CAT scan immediately.

I can only imagine

how shaken up you all must be.

It's quite

the Christmas present.

Thank you, Doctor.

Hank...

FOMO.

You have to wait back here.

Wait!

What the hell

are you doing with your life?

You're sleeping with that oily

doctor when you're engaged?

Dr. Morrissey?

That's... Mom, I really don't

know where you got that,

but you're having a rough night

so I'm going to let it slide.

But, honestly, Mom,

that's ridiculous.

You know something, you always

talk too loudly when you're lying.

I do not. That's...

Uh-huh.

That's not even...

Fine.

I knew you wouldn't understand.

In fact, I knew you would

react exactly like this.

I see.

And... Oh, perfect.

There's the face.

Did I do something wrong?

Was I too preoccupied with Lucy?

Did I make you feel

like you don't deserve more?

Please, stop,

this isn't about you.

Stop treating me like I'm

something that's broken.

Okay? You can't fix me.

Just go fix yourself.

This is who I am.

You need to accept that I'm

never going to be the person

that you want me to be.

You are the person

I want you to be,

except...

Except.

Yeah, except, you

deserve more. I think you could

build a life with this Joe.

Oh, Mom.

Joe is a prop.

Joe is a stranger

I picked up in an airport bar.

He is something I invented,

so that I didn't have

to face your face.

Eleanor.

Just...

This could happen

to anyone, Madison.

There was a lot of yelling going

on, I'm surprised...

it doesn't happen

more often.

In your defense,

it was probably

the dump salad.

There's a reason

it's called that.

I tried, Madison.

Damn it, I tried.

What?

She doesn't love me anymore.

Forty years.

Gone.

Poof

Thank you, Tinkerbell.

I don't even think I kissed

him hello tonight.

You can kiss him tomorrow,

because he's gonna be all right. Really, Emma.

Oh, that's right, Charlotte.

Everything's always balloons and Jello.

Wow, I realize that

we haven't been close

but I guess I just

didn't really know how much...

you don't like me.

It's not that I don't like you,

it's just that I love you more

when I'm not with you.

It's like we're allergic

to each other.

But, hey, we were

branded from birth.

I'm the coward.

Dad always said you're the brave one.

No, Dad didn't say

that at all.

Dad said you're the brave one

and I'm the nice one.

No. I'm the smart one,

you're the brave one.

No, please...

I'm the coward.

No, I'm the coward.

No, I am, that's what Dad said.

For God's sake!

I'm the coward.

No. Don't even

kid yourself.

Dad said that you're the brave one

and I'm the nice one.

I am the coward!

You are the brave one

and you're the smart one.

I'm the coward.

Ladies! Ladies! Shh.

Yes, of course. Sorry.

[SIGHS]

Tell me what

happened to us?

You got the happy gene.

I didn't.

That's not true.

Charlotte...

No.

You could be happy

licking an envelope.

But, hey, I'd be happy too,

if I had everything.

Everything? You think

I've had everything?

If you ever just asked me once how I am,

you'd know that my life is just

as screwed up as your life.

Charlotte, look at me.

I am a fully grown woman.

You sat me at the kids table!

You have no idea what that feels like,

and you never will, you have a family,

I am alone.

Don't I count as family?

Don't my kids count

as family?

They're your family too,

god dammit!

They are your family.

NURSE:
Ladies!

Out!

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

[RING THEM BELLS PLAYING]

Rate this script:4.6 / 5 votes