Lovely and Amazing Page #4

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since I met you.

You were suppose to contribute

once Maddy went to school.

I'm trying

to sell my art, Bill.

F*** your art!

You stepped on this

on purpose.

(gasps)

- Hi.

- Hi.

You can't sleep

on that pillow.

Why not?

She's got 5,000.

That's one

you can sleep on.

I don't think

Michelle likes me.

Oh, honey...

Michelle just

doesn't like herself.

Elizabeth:

Did you have breakfast yet?

No.

When were they

suppose to come?

I saw them walking around

with trays an hour ago.

Excuse me...

Hey!

- Want me to get you something?

- No, I'll wait.

You guys should go.

It's a nice day.

I was gonna

take Annie to Lorraine's

but maybe we should cancel

and stay with you.

Yeah, maybe we

should stay with you.

No way,

go have your date.

I have an appointment

but I'll go another day.

Get out of here.

I get to watch trash TV.

All right.

Ouch!

Sorry.

Bye.

Just think,

10 pounds of fat!

Hey, so did

you get that job?

I don't know.

My agent hasn't called me back.

Bye.

Michelle:
When I was a kid

you sold some

of my artwork here.

Oh, I didn't

work here then.

I know.

I'm just saying...

Anyway, this one

has little ducks on it.

Oh, look

at the little ducks.

This one's...

What is that one?

It looks like a little...

it looks like a little turd.

It's not a turd.

It's a rose.

Ah, good.

I don't know how

to tell you this,

but nobody is going to buy

handmade wrapping paper.

It's too expensive.

Well, it's for people who

don't really care about money.

But that's absurd,

isn't it?

Listen, mister,

this sh*t is pretty.

Then I suggest

you try someplace else.

- Thank you.

- Okay, fine.

If you don't like it,

it's your loss.

Get out of my store.

- A**hole.

- Freak.

That little b*tch!

(bell rings)

Hi, I'd like

to apply for the job.

No way!

Why not?

You look like my mom.

If I haven't developed pictures

before, will somebody train me?

- I will.

- Don't look at me like that.

- You said I look like your mom.

- My mom's cute.

Can I have this job or not?

Whom do I have to talk to?

My dad owns this place.

Aren't you gonna give me a smile?

If I'm gonna

give you the job...

- You're hired.

- Thanks.

Are you sure your mom said

it was okay to do this?

Yeah.

My mom didn't let me get my hair

straightened until I was 15.

Do you know

your real mom, Annie?

- You mean my birth mom?

- Yeah.

She couldn't take care of me

because she was a crack head.

Man...

that's a lot

to grow up with.

Well, my older sisters

have it hard too.

They didn't know their dad anymore.

He's not even a drug addict.

And Elizabeth... she's an actress

but can't get good parts

because she needs

better muscles.

And my other sister

has it hard too

because her husband

wants her to get a better job

and stop making hobbies.

Guess what, Annie?

You've got it harder.

Why,

because I'm fat?

Because you're Black.

But Mom's rich.

That doesn't

make any difference.

Do you know the one about

the kid who had the Black mother

and the Jewish father?

Should you be going around

telling Jewish jokes?

Why not?

I don't know.

Because people might get mad.

I'm Jewish.

You are?

I think so.

Oh.

Well, go ahead.

So the kid

goes up to his mom

and says,

"Am I Black or am I Jewish?"

And the mom says,

"Why do you want to know?"

And the kid says,

"There's this bike

that I want

and I don't know whether

to bargain them down

or steal it."

Don't you have

a sense of humor?

(phone rings)

I'll be back.

This has to stay on

for 20 minutes.

Okay, whatever you say.

Why didn't you tell me

you were coming in?

I have a lunch

in 10 minutes.

- I brought you something.

- What's it for?

I'm regifting.

Just kidding.

- This is so cool.

- My sister makes them.

She wants to sell them

so I'm helping her.

Plus, you're always

buying me things.

I love it, thank you.

I know I shouldn't just pop in

but I hadn't heard from you.

It's not going

any farther.

What did they say?

They said you were great

but not quite right.

I can't believe it.

They told me I blew them away.

I'm sure they were

impressed with you.

They just want

to keep looking.

- I'm shocked.

- Don't take it personally.

Should I?

I just said not to.

I wasn't going to

until you said that.

What did they say about me?

I want to know.

They said you were great.

Come on!

They said

you weren't quite right.

More.

They said...

you weren't sexy.

They said I wasn't sexy?

Kevin McCabe

is a weasel.

Who is it that actually

said I wasn't sexy?

Did they use

those words?

- Was it the director or...

- Elizabeth?

Who the hell knows?

Who cares?

I can't do this anymore.

- I just can't.

- Be positive.

You're in a movie

that just about to open.

I play the neighbor.

I have two scenes.

You're in the poster.

You know how many people

would kill for that?

Paul:

I think you're sexy.

- Can you get me a job?

- I can have sex with you.

Don't joke.

This is hideous.

The profession is hideous.

Didn't he go out with Rosie Campbell?

She's not pretty.

What?

I have to work.

You don't have a lot

of sympathy for me.

Since I chose

this profession,

I shouldn't feel bad when

I get rejected?

This is so boring.

Boring?

Elizabeth,

it's not personal.

Maybe you should

date an actor or something.

Someone who goes through

the same things as you.

You don't want

to see me anymore?

I don't think

I can give you what you want.

What is it that

you think I want?

You want a girlfriend.

Someone you can talk

about your upper arms with.

That's so mean.

(sighs)

- What happened to your hair?

- Do you like it?

- Lorraine:
It's cute, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- Did you do this?

- Her mother said it was okay.

No way she said it was okay.

She's eight.

- Don't look at me.

- Who am I suppose to look at?

- You were taking care of her.

- She said it was okay.

I trusted her.

Pull it in...

and then out

and then press in.

Hey, Splooge!

Splooge!

The pictures ready yet?

You probably splooged

all over them, didn't you?

You like the one

of Jennifer topless, don't you?

Was that before

or after her boob job?

Real perceptive

for "cock boy."

F*** you.

One-hour photo boy

said f*** you.

Some of us have to work,

dickwad.

Work?

Does that include splooging

all over pictures

of my girlfriend?

I didn't look at them.

I didn't splooge on them. I hate you.

Yeah, sure.

Hey, a**holes,

you forgot to pay me.

(laughs)

Idiots.

I really worry about Annie

if I died.

You're not gonna die.

You're gonna have

a flat stomach.

No, but one day,

if I die before I'm really old.

I got two daughters,

but I don't know.

One of them

is really f***ed up,

and the other one

isn't married.

I think about the things Annie

will have to face in her life...

and I just want to cry.

She's lucky to have you.

She's not lucky.

She's entitled.

Every child's entitled

to a mother.

This is coming along fine.

I'm gonna send the nurse in

to change the dressing.

- Thanks.

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