Lovely and Amazing Page #5

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- Okay.

Jane,

you're gonna be fine.

And you're

gonna look great.

- Hello.

- He just flirted with me.

You're deluded.

I'm not kidding.

I think he might like me.

What are you, 14?

Why couldn't

he be interested in me?

The guy is your liposuction doctor.

Leave it at that.

- Don't be so negative.

- God, this is depressing me.

- (door opens)

- I gotta go.

- Bye.

- Goodbye.

Where've you been?

- What do you mean?

- It's 9:
00 and you didn't call.

I told you I went

to the movies with Jay.

You didn't tell me

anything.

You forgot.

You forgot.

I got a job.

It pays $8 an hour.

What is it?

I work at

a one-hour photo.

There were no toll-booths

in the area?

Hey, I took a job.

Happy?

Did you take it so

you could talk to me like that?

I took the job because you wanted

me to work. Now I'm working.

- Good for you.

- Good for you!

(groans)

Jesus!

Nurse!

Nurse,

I know it's only lipo,

but would somebody

please come and help me?

(sobbing)

$10,000 f***ing dollars

and I'm laying here

on the f***ing floor.

Some nurse came by after about

15 minutes and she was rude.

That infuriates me.

I wish you'd called me.

I couldn't move.

Does your doctor know

what he's doing?

It seems like it. He says I can

go home in a few more days.

Aw, I'd give anything

to take a sh*t.

Is your insurance

paying for this?

No, I'm going broke.

Listen...

you will take care of Annie

when I die, right?

Mom, you already

know that.

I hope nothing happens

to you

because Michelle's not

really an option.

I'll say.

What about Paul?

How would he feel

about it?

Why are you smoking?

Paul and I broke up.

What is his problem?

Why do you assume it's

his problem?

Maybe it's my problem.

You don't have

any problems.

You think I'm perfect?

I think you're lovely

and amazing.

I'm narcissistic.

- You are not.

- It makes Paul sick.

He makes you feel bad

about yourself.

I felt bad about myself

long before I met him.

Well, if he loved you

he'd make you realize

how wonderful you are.

Forget it, Mom.

I saw an old man with a tube

coming out of his throat.

I can barely

look at you.

- Mom, it's an improvement!

- Mom:
It is not an improvement.

I loved your hair.

When are you coming home?

Soon.

Why'd you have to come here

in the first place?

Elizabeth,

take Annie somewhere else.

Do something fun.

Come on, Annie,

let's go.

Bye, Mom.

And buy her a hat.

- How many came out?

- All 36.

Thanks.

Jesus, you'd think they'd send

these to a better lab.

So...

what does your husband do?

He's a personal

sound engineer.

What the hell is that?

He installs stereos

for rich people.

You're kidding. I need a CD player.

Could he get me a deal?

Why should he get you

a deal?

Because I'm

his wife's boss.

Good point.

Those guys that came in here

the other day...

they paid me back.

It's cool.

- I'm shocked.

- They're all right.

They were just showing off

in front of you.

I see...

You have

a lot of friends?

Oh yeah.

You could say...

you know,

kind of a cult thing.

Oh yeah.

I see.

Do you have

a lot of friends?

No actually, I think people

are too self-involved.

Don't they know

how cute you are?

I think I'm too old

to be cute.

No way,

you're pretty cute.

(giggles)

This girl has it harder

than this girl.

Why?

Look at her hair. She can't get

a job with it like this.

Of course she can.

She has an Afro, that's all.

She looks like a clown.

No she doesn't.

She looks fine.

What are you doing,

a survey?

Oh, hi.

Hi.

We gotta go.

Come on, Annie.

Wait a minute.

- Hold on. Not so fast.

- What?

What?

It wasn't my fault.

The director had final say.

- He did?

- Yeah, I loved you.

Couldn't you tell?

I got a boner, for Christ's sake.

- Well, it's a style.

- What's your name?

Annie.

Hi Annie, I'm Kevin.

I like your hair.

Elizabeth:

She's my little sister.

That is a great organization.

Good for you.

Listen, that part

in the movie...

you shouldn't stress

about sh*t like that.

- I know.

- You want to get a drink?

- How about dinner?

- I can't.

You can take me

to Lorraine's.

Please?

A way of saying I'm sorry

you didn't get the part.

Who did?

Rosie Campbell...

it wasn't my decision.

Bartender:

I need to see some I.D.

He's 22,

I'll vouch for him.

Bartender:

When were you born?

What do you want?

I'll have a scotch

on the rocks.

I'll have a glass

of merlot, please.

My first wife had no idea

how to handle it.

She couldn't understand why

I had to go away on location.

She hated

my whole profession.

That's how Paul seemed.

He thought it was a waste of time

for me to care about how I look.

I wish!

They don't get it.

He acted as if I have a choice.

There is no choice.

Are you one of those actresses

who don't eat?

I never eat, ever.

In fact, I'm dead.

- You're killing me.

- Yeah. So...

I like to make things

and paint things,

like...

- I paint too.

- You do? Wow!

But you were saying...

Just small things like

little plates and bud vases.

Stuff like that.

Wrapping paper was just a new idea

that I'm not going to pursue.

Not exactly

a can't-live-without item.

- I draw.

- Oh yeah?

I want to do

CD covers one day.

But I don't think

I'm that good.

Oh!

I love animals.

I have a sort

of personal animal shelter.

Really?

Are you kidding me?

Because I have this cat

and it shits on everything.

- I was about to give it to the pound.

- I only have dogs.

Couldn't you take a cat?

She's great. You'll love her.

She shits on everything.

That's at my house. Maybe

he wouldn't do that at your house.

She's probably doing it

because she's angry.

Who cares? Am I supposed to care

about my cat's feelings?

I do care. I do.

I was kidding. I love him.

I feel like I'm doing

a very bad thing.

I've had

a drink before.

When you have

as many zits as I do

you're entitled to get hammered

once in a while.

You don't have

that many zits.

I bet you had no zits

when you were in high school.

You're right.

I had an excellent complexion.

And I bet

you were popular.

I was the Homecoming Queen.

(chuckles)

F*** you,

you're kidding, right?

No.

Cool, I'm out

with the Homecoming Queen.

Where do you get

your dogs?

Sometimes I'll find one

that someone's abandoned.

Or the pound'll call me

if they have one that needs a home.

That kind of thing.

You must have

a tremendous amount

of pet hair

on your furniture.

Promise me,

never get a boob job.

Is that advice?

A compliment?

Just promise me.

Why would you care?

Because

you're an original.

An original what...

a**hole?

- An original beauty.

- I am not.

You are.

Hey, I could be your own

personal lint roller.

Ouch!

- Ouch!

- Michelle:
What?

Oh!

- This is gorgeous.

- Thanks.

I'd buy this from you

in a second.

Really?

(Michelle giggles)

(whistle blows)

Lorraine:
I'm gonna

take that class

even though I hear

the teacher's boring.

You already have

too many credits.

I could never keep up with

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