Lovesick

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Love Sick

There are 6.8 billion people in the world

Of which roughly 2.7 billion are

young adults between the ages of 18 to 38

Subtract the 1.5 billion that are women

Take away the psychos,

anti-social, homosexuals, etc

And you've still got about

Out of your lifetime,

you'll probably meet about 7,500 of them

Of which you'll date

about 1% of those men

Of which you'll only

stay with about 3% of that 1%

In hopes that one day

you'll end up with just one

And during my freshman year

at Beijing University

I found... my one

Yes, that's him!

My knight in shining armor

Do you know?

When you find a fallen eyelash,

you can make a wish

Here

What would you like to wish for?

It already came true

And why did he pick me?

Because you are my girl

He said this song was written just for me

He was also the first guy

that ever held my hand

The first guy that I ever kissed

And the first...

CUT!

This is PG-13! Hello!

Besides, I'm not that kind of girl

He was the perfect man

As perfect as a man could be

We were going to build our future together

And then something happened...

He became a pop star!

How can I let you go

When my heart is like a hurricane

Tangled deep inside me

I wrote that song

For my sweet, lovely

Tina Liang

She was the first girl

whoever believed in me

Happy Graduation!

Thank you!

Aaron, your new...

Tina!

Let me explain

Aaron

She's just a girl

Let her go back to Taiwan

Encore! Aaron! Encore! Aaron!

They say that

You're only meant for one person

But what happens when you lose "the one"

Or

Worse

"The one" never loved

you in the first place

It's devastating, like nothing matters

You don't even feel pain

You're just

Numb

Everyone tries to find ways

To keep you busy

Why don't you volunteer

at Grandpa's hospital?

Or

Maybe, go help your aunties

Angry

Divorced

Women

ADW is a support group for women

who were burned by men

That's my aunt Glenda

After her third divorce

She started this group

To help the countless

divorced women out there

And he even bought

a Tiffany bracelet for that tramp

Tina

Please pass out Mr. Bastard to everyone

All right

Men are only known to do what? Lulu

Screw you!

Good

Women who've been injured and hurt,

must find ways to protect themselves

from these bastards

You have 60 seconds

Go!

These aunties were my

only grace and strength

When I had nothing left

The Lord truly understands you

Because He doesn't betray anyone's heart

And then

One day

I snapped out of it

And I swore to myself that

I would never allow anyone

To hurt me like that again!

The more gorgeous they are,

the more they are what?

An a**hole!

An a**hole!

Good

Now keep up with me

Rule #1

Always be on your guard

Never be vulnerable or caught off guard

By men

A**holes comes in all shapes and sizes

Hi

Let me rock your world!

Can I

Upgrade your hard drive?

My name is Casanova

Rule #2:
Be your own hero!

Learn to be strong and stand up for yourself!

The Fighting Princess Chapter 89:

The Howling Trees

You're surrounded, Princess

Give it up. Give up the panties!

Let's face it

The reality is relationships are

hard work and difficult

So women need to learn

to protect themselves

Because Rule #3 tells us that

"True love" only exists in fairy tales

(5 Years Later)

From the moment I saw you

My heart

Fluttered like a butterfly

From the moment I saw you

My heart stopped

And for a moment, I thought I had died

Is this guy for real?

Honey, what are you doing?

Playing around like this?

What's bothering you?

Why do we have to come

to these boring things?

Honey, when you're working

in the real world

You're going to wish you could've attended

more of these "boring things" in your youth

Really

Here's to fading youth

Let's mourn

Cheers

Drink up

Goodbye youth

Why aren't you drinking?

Do I need to start grieving this early?

Just be supportive

We've been there for you, haven't we?

Cheers

To youth

That's my father

Next to him is my grandpa

The only two good men left in this world

Girls, let's freshen up

Yes

I have to brush my teeth

Why hello

I'm the best man, David...

...Dong

And you are...

Me?

I'm here

just to eat and drink

Look at those bleached teeth

And those manicured, midget hands

I bet he's going to ask for my number

Or out to dinner

Or

If I have a boyfriend

So I was wondering,

if you're not seeing anybody

How about we get each other's number

Go out for some dinner

Sweat a little

Have some fun

What do you think?

Greedy bastard

Well, I think

You should know that

I'm not your p*ssy cat!

I'll pick you up later

She said yes, she said yes

Happy Heart Day

Here's a heart for you

And some heart candies too

This is my best friend

since childhood, CoCo

She's beautiful with a smoking hot body

But I don't know if she's innocent

or simple-minded

Naive or dim-witted

And men

won't even care about her inner beauty

So I've got to protect her

Did you just say "Happy Heart Day"?

Yup!

It's something I created

I wanted to find a way

To express love

to the entire world

Let me use your computer for a sec

Of course

This Heart Day you created

It's really just a sales gimmick, right?

What gimmick?

That sounds so un-romantic

Love is big money

It's the easiest way to

make money off people

Love

It's the most romantic thing in the world

Love...

It's also the biggest scam

That's crazy expensive!

Who's gonna buy this?

I'll take it

Actually, I wanted to buy them for you

Please... call me when you have time

Please call me when you have time

I almost forgot

Your grandpa brought this

over earlier for you

Said it's some kind of

new hospital program?

And there will also be

two newcomers joining us today

A brilliant young doctor

from Peking Union Medical Hospital:

Brandon Lu

And my granddaughter:

Tina Liang

Tina!

Nurse Dorothy!

Remember, your job is

to make sure they laugh

At least 20 minutes everyday

Not just a smile

But those big, deep laughs

This is really important

even though it's not in the report

Report?

Don't worry, Miki's here to help

My god

Why did I agree to help grandpa

with this laughter program?

Okay, make them laugh

Just make them laugh

Hello everybody!

It's my liver that's bad

Not my ears

Where's Dr. Li?

Who?

We want DR. LI, DR. LI, DR. LI!

Freakin' old people

Miki do something!

Okay!

Wait! You can't just leave me like that

Don't leave me here alone

You should hurry up and follow her

Those puppets

are you going to put on a show for us?

Are you going to put on a show for us?

Can you do that song

Can you do that song

from Frankie Valli that goes...

So he likes that song

Of course not

But

If you behave

If you behave

I just might think about it

I just might think about it

Now, anyone want to help?

I do!

Me! Me!

All right

Let's do some laughing!

Keep going okay guys?

God, what's with all these

weird people in the hospital?

God, what's with all these

weird people in the hospital?

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