Loving Miss Hatto Page #2

and get one of the girls there

to do it.

Sorry to have bothered you.

Morning, Joyce.

Sorry, excuse me,

I was just looking for

Mr Barrington-Coupe's office

and I only have his card from when

he was working here. Barrie? Yes.

I wasn't sure where

his new offices were.

He doesn't have another office,

but I think he's in now.

He's here? No, he'll be on the fifth

floor. It's his late morning.

Seidelman Music Publishing.

I know, that was my posh voice!

I was looking for your office.

Is this where you live?

The thing is...

The girl didn't seem to know

anything about a new office.

And I thought you lived in Henley.

Look, Joyce... No, I don't think

I will look, thank you.

Because I seem to be

looking at a liar

and someone who's made a pretty good

idiot out of me by buttering me up.

Why did you say

you could help my career?

What on earth did you think

you were playing at?

Because I can help your career.

Managing someone's career is about

passion and instinct and empathy,

and I've got all that.

And no, I don't have filing

cabinets and switchboards.

But you said you did!

Because I will have!

I visualise things

and then I make them happen.

And now I've ballsed it all up.

So, yes, I'm a liar.

Live in one horrible room.

It's my mother who lives in Henley

and she's not very keen on me.

And I saw something in you

and I wanted to make it work for you

and I got a bit ahead of myself

because I could see it all

so clearly.

And I am heartbroken

that I've messed it all up.

Oh, Lord, don't cry.

Well, I will cry.

Because I can't bear

that I've lost you.

Do you really believe in me

as a pianist?

No question.

I'm sorry for the muddle.

Be careful going down the stairs,

they've got a bit of a dip in them.

You're a lovely girl, Joyce.

Hardly. I've got wonky hair!

That's what your mother makes

you see, that's not what I see.

You're lovely.

And you're sweet. And funny.

That's what I see anyway.

Or did see.

We can't have any more muddles.

We won't.

Scout's honour.

Were you a Scout? No.

Thought not.

Can you make tea?

Oh, yeah.

I'll, erm... I'll get the milk.

I'll, erm, I'll just get the milk.

That's enough, Horace.

Three's enough.

Shall I get someone

to take the four of us?

No, don't go bothering people.

Excuse me.

Sorry, daughter's wedding.

Are you sure you don't want to

go out for a nice supper?

No, honestly, we've got

so much to do at the house.

Wallpapering waits for no man.

Oh, are you waiting for a man?

We could have given you

the name of a man.

No, no, we're going to

do it ourselves.

I thought you were waiting

for a man. Say cheese.

Or should it be Tchaikovsky?

Don't try and be funny, Horace.

Your case is upstairs, Mrs BC.

Do you, er, fancy turning in?

Yes, yes, let's go up.

Did I, erm... Did I hear

something about a negligee?

Yes.

Would you want me to put it on?

I'll say.

Let the dog see the rabbit.

What?

Er, nothing.

Look, I'll, er...

I'll go for a stroll.

Nice married man's stroll.

And, er, you sort yourself out

and I'll see you in the boudoir.

Do you think I should

just check the piano?

It's fine, it's got all its legs.

In a while, crocodile.

Joycey?

Oh, Lord, negligee,

wedding night, sorry.

You carry on.

I'll have another

scrape at the banisters.

Yes, I shall get my secretary to

type that up for you

and I shall see you with

Miss Hatto on the 24th...

Looking forward to it...

OK. Bye, bye.

Mrs Barrington-Coupe, just putting

in another booking for Miss Hatto.

What do you do when they ask to

speak to the secretary?

I say she's on the other line.

Have you got two lines?

No. Now, look at this.

Kirkcaldy and Pitlochry

all booked in.

Letchworth, Evesham, Spalding,

music club circuit

looks like it might happen.

Golly, it's really filled up!

I said it would.

Oh, and look what came

back from the printers!

I'm hardly acclaimed or

international.

Just one nice review from Ventnor.

Let me explain something to you.

I go to see Joyce Hatto.

The poster says -

Joyce Hatto hasn't done much.

I don't have

much of an evening, do I?

But if I give over my 17 and 6

to see Joyce Hatto -

acclaimed international pianist...

I have a fantastic evening!

But the playing will be the same!

Everyone in this agency can play!

What matters is the story.

Now, you play,

I'll figure out the story.

No-one to move Miss Hatto's

stool, thank you!

OK, gents, OK, OK, OK.

I just need to hear the strings on

their own - this is Jealous Lover.

You've all got

Jealous Lover, haven't you?

If nine of you play Jealous Lover

and one plays Dangerous Moonlight

it'll be a long day.

I shall see you in there.

Er, shall I play, Barrie?

Why not?

It is your album, after all.

Do you want to count them in,

Joycey, just for now?

OK.

On my wife's count.

Two, three, four, one, two.

Barrie!

We'll get there with

the babies, Ducky.

The doc said it was nobody's fault.

Nice, aren't they, those radios?

I'm bringing 4,000

in from Hong Kong.

I'm on a whacking profit.

Velly nice.

Have you given up

the record label, then?

No! In fact, we've just

signed a new artist!

Oh...

just Joyce.

Music from the Films.

You look quite beaky in profile,

you'd have done better full-face.

This is more like it -

Dream Of Olwen.

We thought we'd make some more

albums this year.

And get Joyce

back on the road next year,

when she's bounced

back from the, erm...

And I'm going to do

a bit of teaching. Mother?

You could play the accordion, Joyce.

Just two days a week, nice private

girls' school in Hertfordshire

What will you do, go from Euston?

Sshh, Andy Stewart -

turn it up, Barrie!

Faster! Faster!

Now, how do we think Chopin would

have played it?

I'm Miss Hatto, and you are?

I'm Elizabeth Jane Pilkington,

Miss Hatto.

EJ Pilkington at 11:30, very good.

So, who are you?

Please, she's Eleanor Margaret Bird

and she doesn't

have to do Domestic Science

because her mother's just died.

So, I thought she might like to come

and help me have my lesson.

Pilks!

Eleanor Margaret Bird, do you find

that in any way an appealing plan?

Yes, it is, please, thank you.

Shoes off, then, girls!

Now, Miss EJ Pilkington,

are you Elizabeth,

Betty, Beth, Lizzie?

What do I call you?

Oh, I'm Pilks. And she's Birdy.

Very good. Birdy and Pilks - hop up!

Each of you put a foot

on the pedal. Birdy, you're soft

and Pilks, you're sustain.

Now, I'm going to play and when

I shout out, you're going to pedal.

Mm-hm?

Sustain!

Soft!

Sustain!

Soft!

Oh, Serge!

You called, m'lady?

I was talking to the dog.

So hard to tell.

Now, I bet Miss Hatto has never

mentioned this, has she?

Wow!

Or this?

And this, you are

the first people to see this.

Now, this isn't even

in the shops yet.

Bax?

Not easy to play, unless you happen

to be Miss Hatto, of course.

And when Miss Hatto plays

the Festival Hall... there will,

of course, be two seats reserved

in the name of Birdy and Pilks.

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