Lucky Numbers

[Rock]

[Woman] One, two.

One, two, three, four!

I've been out of the woods

for six days and nights now

And I'm a little hard-wired

but I'm feeling allright now

l got some money in my pocket

and l won't need a ride, yeah

Got a big-jetted car

and a baby by my side, yeah

Well, I'm a little hard-wired

but I'm feeling okay

And I got a little lost

out along the way

But I'm just around the corner

to the light of day

Yeah

I'm just around the corner

to the light of day, yeah

I'm driving 500 miles

got 500 to go, yeah

I've got rock'n'roll music

on my radio

Look, Debbie!

- Oh, my God, hi!

- How are you?

- We watch your show all the time.

- Good to see you.

Thank you. Thank you.

All right. You have a good day.

- [ All Screaming ]

- Bye!

[Man] They say the only luck

is the luck you make.

In the winter of 88,

i was the luckiest man alive.

I had it all - fame, fortune

and my own parking space...

at Harrisburg's trendiest bistro.

I would have done anything

to keep it all.

And, unfortunately, i did.

- Jack, how are ya?

- Good morning, Mr. Richards.

- Did you get a haircut?

- Oh, yes.

Looks good. Don't get too

good-looking. I'll be out of a job.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, how about

this winter weather, eh?

Farmer's Almanac

sure didn't get it right this year.

"Caterpillar in June,

cold winter soon," they said.

Amateurs, Jack. Hillbilly folklore,

that's all it is.

You should write your own almanac,

Mr. Richards.

Something people could believe in.

Maybe one day I will, Jack.

Maybe one day I will.

- Enjoy your breakfast.

- Good morning.

- Wendy, how are you?

-Just fine.

- Yeah. How's the cold?

- Oh, it's just allergies, I think.

Really?

Oh, not allergic to me, are you?

No. [ Laughs ]

I don't think so.

- You're so bad.

- Guilty as charged.

I'll be right back

with your cantaloupe and egg whites.

- Okay. You pick me a ripe one.

- Excuse me, Mr. Richards.

- Sorry, but can I get a picture?

-Well, sure.

It's my son's birthday,

and he saw you walk in.

- What's your name, skipper?

- Sam.

Sam. Well, you're a big fella,

Samarino.

How old are you today?

Twenty-seven?

[ Chuckles ]

I'm five.

Five? Well, how's the wife?

Allright. Happy birth day.

- Thanks for coming by. All right.

- Thank you.

- Oh, you gotta love it.

- Wow.

You're Russ Richards, aren't you?

Last time I checked. Well, hello!

Hi. Here.

Let meguess.

Mmm. It's a resume of some sort,

and you're looking for a job

in broadcasting.

Yeah, just read it. A**hole.

You are Mr. Lucky today.

I found you the ripest melon

in Harrisburg.

- Christmas don't be late

- F***!

[ Announcer ] Live from Harrisburg

and News Center Six.

Covering Harrisburg, York,

Lancaster and Lebanon,

it's Newsat Five with

Dan Shuff, Heidi Zimmer...

and Russ Richards with the weather.

This is Newsat Five.

[ Man ] Good evening.

A teacher is behind bars tonight...

for allegedly locking

an unruly student in a broom closet.

That story coming up.

But first, let's check in

with the weather center...

to see if these beautiful

temperatures will continue.

- Russ?

- Yes, it's the middle of December,

and we still have more

Now don't panic, folks.

You're not in the twilight zone.

[ Humming Theme

from Twilight Zone ]

Now, on the downside,

if the weather gets any nicer,

my Aunt Mildred could move back

from Fort Lauderdale.

Just kidding. A wonderful woman.

Anyhoo, I'll be back with

a complete forecast a little later.

Take it, Dan.

Thanks, Russ.

We'll check in with you later.

[Man] And now the fourth.

[Woman] Eleven.

[Man]

And the fifth number, please.

- Hi, Russ.

- [Woman] Thirty.

Hey, Dottie. How are you?

- Still struggling with the diet.

- Oh, yeah?

Don't get too thin.

It's not good for you.

Eight.

[ Man ] And there you have it.

Tonight's

Pennsylvania Lottery number: 19, 47,

If you have it, come and get it.

- If not, better luck next time.

- Back to you, Dan.

- We gonna talk about this?

- Nothing to talk about, Cochise.

I told you no more loans.

Penn Fed's down the street.

This is not...

Not a loan. An advance. Stop acting

like it's coming out of your pocket.

If you didn't piss your money away,

you wouldn't need an advance.

Now, what is it this week--

racquet ball courts? Pee wee golf?

Snowmobiles. You know it.

I told you that.

Jesus Christ.

It's exhausting with you.

Snowmobiles. How's business?

When this heat wave ends,

I'm golden.

- You're the weatherman. End it.

- [Groans]

- Where the hellishe?

- CrystaI!

How many times do I have to

tell those guys about the cables?

I almost broke my f***ing neck

on live television!

Yeah.

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were

in the middle of a meeting.

No, it's okay.

It's okay. Calm down.

- Calm down.

- You know...

- Come with me.

- I have to leave, of course.

I talked to them about this thing.

It's never gonna happen again.

All right? Just relax.

It's not gonna happen again.

- Hi, boss.

- Hello. How you doing, Bobby?

I can't do the Olive Garden tonight.

- [ Scoffs ]

- My wife invited a few people over.

- I've gotta eat at home.

- That's just great, Dick.

No, you know what?

I am tired of this bullshit.

Hey, hey, hey.

Easy. Come on.

Remember, we got

that affiliates thing coming up.

- Uh-huh.

- Six days in Hawaii.

- Mm-hmm.

- Eating like pigs.

Christ, you got some body on you.

[ Giggles ]

Tell me something I don't know.

Do we have anything else?

I think we're through here.

Unless you want to torture me

about the f***ing weather chopper.

Like that was a bad idea.

Weather chopper?

Come on, I'm a weatherman.

You know what the truth is?

I feel bad foryou, Dick. I do.

One day you're gonna wake up,

and you're gonna realize...

you had a diamond in your hand,

and you let it slip away.

To where, Atlantic City?

- Oh, that's what this is about.

- To be a big game show host.

That's right. I hear everything.

I'm like a satellite in outer space.

Did you get your audition?

- My agent is all over it.

- Right. [ Chuckles ]

[Russ] Mace Kornberg, please.

Yes, this is Russ Richards. Mm-hmm.

You know, this is getting

a little ridiculous.

I've already left,

like, five messages.

Allright, your boss, Mace Kornberg,

saw me on TV, okay?

He loved me, okay?

He wants to represent me.

We... We sat at

my personal booth at Denny's...

for over an hour,

and i told him all about myself.

And now for some reason,

he's not returning my phone calls.

Well, what part ofthat

was too long?

Just tell him Russ Richards called,

okay? Thankyou.

[ Sighs ]

What's happening?

Still not there?

Nah, but, the whole agency

is out for the week.

- A retreat or something.

- What's a retreat?

Oh, I'm not sure,

but I think it's a religious thing.

- Hey, i got great news for you.

- Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Remember my brother's car,

the one that was in a wreck?

For the sake of expediency,

i am going to say yes.

Well, he's finally ready to sell it.

It's all pounded out, repainted,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes