Lucky Stiff
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 78 min
- 939 Views
1
Harry.
Don't stop.
Harder. Harder!
- I'm almost there.
- Yes!
Here it comes.
Yes!
Shall I wrap them up, madam?
No, they make
my feet look too big.
Hmm.
Harry? Sale?
No sale.
Ugh. You should improve
your sales technique.
Get some practice with the ladies.
Find a girl with a nice pair of feet.
- Mmm.
- I might know someone. Do you want me to, you know?
No, thanks.
Well, better for me anyway
if you've got no social life.
Who else would stay behind on a Friday
night to do inventory every Friday night.
Who else?
Ah, yes, and
that's why I love you.
Lock up.
Have a nice weekend.
Wait! Not again.
Damn it!
Isn't that lovely?
Hungry little pig, aren't ya?
There you go, deary.
Aw, there you are.
Good boy.
Who is it?
I don't want to
let the dogs out.
Telegram for
Mr. Harry Witherspoon.
Telegram?
I'll take it.
I'm his landlady.
I'll see he gets it.
Who was that?
Here. Look here.
Thank you, Miss Thorsby.
Now, Mr. Hobbs?
Not yet, Miss Thorsby.
I will buzz.
Yes, sir.
My condolences,
Mr. Witherspoon.
Please. Be emotional
if you so desire.
I'm terribly sorry that we have to
meet in such terrible circumstances.
He's American.
Wouldn't know me
from a hole in the wall.
And understandably so.
Nevertheless, you are
his only living relative.
Your uncle has left you
an inheritance.
An inheritance?
Apparently, casino managers do quite
well in Atlantic City, New Jersey.
In U.S. dollars, Mr. Witherspoon,
your uncle has left you...
Yes? Yes?
- Six.
- Six?
Million.
But I must warn you that the terms
of the will are highly unusual.
Therefore if you should choose
not to accept the money,
it will revert immediately to
your uncle's favorite charity,
The Universal Dog Home
of Brooklyn.
Dog home?
Look, I'll do anything
for that money.
No dog is gonna
get its paws on it.
This is the release form.
In essence you are agreeing to
fulfill the terms and conditions
of Anthony Hendon's last will
and testament. To the letter.
- Do you agree?
- I do.
Very good.
Sign here, here and here.
Now, Miss Thorsby!
Now!
And here we are.
Your uncle left
some recorded instructions.
This is a small player.
On. Off.
Rewind.
On his lap is a small
heart-shaped box,
which you must guard carefully,
until you receive
further instructions.
This is a check which should cover
your activities for the week.
That's all there is to it.
Bon voyage and good luck.
Wait a minute.
I don't understand.
Oh, I'm sorry,
Mr. Witherspoon.
This is your Uncle Anthony.
But I thought he died.
He did.
Oh, my God!
Dear nephew Harry,
this is my last will and testament.
And I hope it finds you in
better health than it does me.
I hope that you're not the squeamish type,
especially when you hear the favor I want.
Favor?
In return for the money,
- What?
- Yeah, Monte Carlo.
- I've got big plans.
- But that's impossible.
You're probably thinking that's impossible.
Am I right?
A taxidermist has fixed me up so
that no one will notice a thing.
You just follow
the instructions on the tape.
Take a dead man
to the French Riviera?
If you don't wanna do it,
the Universal Dog Home of Brooklyn will.
Six million dollars.
One more thing, kid.
Stay out of the spotlight.
Give me paper, pack of six.
- There you are.
- What?
No! No! No!
Hey, lady, what are you, blind?
Legally, I am, yeah.
P-E-C-F-D.
Uh-huh. Very good.
Very good.
All right, now.
- Third floor. Watch your step.
- You too!
Move!
Doctor Di Ruzzio,
your sister's here.
I'm sorry. I'm just a little...
I'm so sorry.
If you would just
excuse me for a moment.
Again, she cannot just barge in here
every time she loses her glasses.
She has to make an appointment
just like everybody...
I know. I know. I don't have an appointment,
but I have to talk to you right now.
Rita, Rita,
this is Mr. Loomis.
Mr. Loomis,
this is my sister, Rita.
She's legally blind.
I hate glasses, don't you?
Now, look, this is an emergency.
- Thank you.
- I think the last one was a Z.
- This is serious.
- Are you insane?
didn't know where else to go.
Look at this article
in today's paper.
"Rich shoe salesman kicks up heels,
inherits six mil from casino manager." So?
Keep reading.
"'Monte Carlo, here I come, ' says Harry Witherspoon, an
unlikely heir to a fortune from an uncle he has never met.
Witherspoon, a British citizen,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."
What does this
got to do with you?
- An affair?
- An affair!
No!
What?
Tony's place?
Very dark!
Tony!
No!
No.
I said you lost it gambling.
I was desperate.
It just came out of my mouth like
spontaneously and now I think...
Nicky, uh, has a contract
on your life.
Uh-huh.
Vinnie.
Vinnie! Come on, control yourself.
What are you worried about?
We'll find him
if we have to call every hotel.
I swear to God I'll never forgive you!
Come on! Stop it!
If there's a God above, I...
Grow up!
Look on the bright side.
I got caught embezzling,
I killed the only man
I ever loved,
and I just lost
six million dollars in diamonds.
What else could go wrong?
I've done nothing!
I've done nothing!
Absolutely, Uncle!
Ha! I couldn't agree more.
Bonjour, monsieur.
May I suggest the trout today?
Nothing for me, thanks,
but my uncle here will have...
Some escargot, the coq au vin
and a bottle of Margot.
And the same for my nephew.
Exactly!
Oui, monsieur.
Ah!
What's that, Uncle?
Your eyesight isn't what it used to be?
Of course I'd be happy
to describe the sights.
Ciao, signoris.
Io sono Luigi Gaudi,
and you are?
- Harry Witherspoon.
- Ah!
Bravo. And you are?
My Uncle Anthony.
Now if you'll excuse us.
Uncle, huh? Zio.
Very good, very good.
- This your first time to Monte Carlo?
- Yes.
Fantastico! Luigi Gaudi
will be your guide.
Thanks, but Uncle is here for rest,
you see, and seclusion.
Signoris, this is nonsense.
This is Monte Carlo.
Champagne for everyone!
Welcome to the Hotel de Paris.
Thank you.
Where Winston Churchill
have had many good times.
Everything is
as you specified, monsieur.
Your long stemmed roses.
Yes, yes, thank you.
- Your champagne.
- Thank you.
And now, Uncle is very tired.
Your beluga caviar.
Your exclusive sea-view.
Your extra towels. Your chocolate truffles.
Your pink satin sheets.
- Your tip.
- Merci, monsieur.
What a schmuck.
I am not cut out for this.
I had a job.
I had a life.
It's not much, but at least
I knew what to expect.
Sorry, but you got
the wrong man.
Okay, kid, we've got
a big day ahead of us.
Sailing, new duds, new adventures,
and you're gonna go gambling,
using my infallible system
for roulette.
We've got a night club reservation at 8:00,
so be prompt.
Absolutely, Uncle.
Hell, I envy you, kid!
You can see that view
and taste that caviar.
All I can do is sit here
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"Lucky Stiff" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lucky_stiff_13034>.
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