Lust for Life Page #3

- I love you, Kay.

- No.

Listen to me,

we're both alone in the world.

We need each other.

Look, we'll have a home.

We'll be happy. I promise you.

No.

In God's name, don't be frightened.

I'm only saying I want to marry you.

To be your husband, and a father to Jan.

No. Never!

No. Never.

I tell you, Theo, this thing threatens me.

Love is something so strong, so real...

that it's as impossible to quench it...

as it is for a man to take his own life.

I must see her face again

and speak to her once more.

- I'd like to see Miss Kay.

- I'm afraid she's out, sir.

No, you can't go in there, sir.

The family's at dinner.

He pushed his way in, sir.

I see now what people mean when

they complain about your bad manners.

- Where's Kay?

- She's not here.

She's visiting friends.

- Vincent, please, sit down.

- She was just sitting here.

Can't you understand

a simple word like "no"?

Don't you realize what it meant

when Kay returned your letters unopened?

May I speak to Kay, please?

My dear, will you leave us alone, please?

Must you persist in the face of everything?

Try to be reasonable, Vincent.

Even if Kay returned your love...

how could you possibly hope

to provide a home for her?

You haven't earned money in a long time.

- You don't even have...

- lf a man loves, he lives.

If he lives, he works.

If he works, he has bread.

You think I'm a tramp?

I'll be penniless all my life?

- It's not just a question of money...

- Listen to me!

All I ask is a chance to show Kay my love.

To help her understand

why she must love me.

Surely you've been in love.

You know what agonies a man can suffer...

Agonies? Are you such a weakling...

that you can't stand the little pain

of a disappointment in love?

Do you have to whimper about it?

What do you know about pain?

I've seen agonies

that you've never dreamed of.

Let me talk to Kay for as long as

I can keep my hand in this flame.

Vincent!

Have you gone out of your mind?

- Do you hear me whimpering?

- Listen to me, my boy.

I'd let you talk to Kay

to your heart's content, but for one thing.

She refuses to see you again, ever.

I don't believe it.

She said that your persistence

disgusted her.

There are some things

that can't be controlled by wishes.

Love is one of them.

I'm sorry.

But did she say I disgusted her?

Yes.

- Did she actually say that?

- Yes.

All right, I'm sorry, too.

- I'll be going.

- Where are you staying?

- Would you like to spend the night here?

- No, thank you.

- Lf Kay leaves the house...

- Let me take care of your hand.

- Take care of yourself, Vincent.

- Our love to your family.

- Good night.

- Good night, boy.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

Come on. If you want to sit here,

that's all right.

More wine?

- On credit?

- No.

You all right?

I'm sick. I'm tired. Just leave me alone.

Everything's rotten. Now I understand

why people drown themselves.

- Don't say things like that.

- Why not?

- Suicide's a terrible thing.

- What do you know about it?

What are you, anyway? A working man?

- Yes.

- You don't talk like one.

Thanks for the brandy.

I'm a laundress,

when I have the strength to scrub.

And when I haven't, I look for easier work.

I have a baby to feed.

He's at home with my mother.

- Where's your husband?

- What husband?

I've been at the tubs all day.

They were supposed to pay me tonight

but they put me off till tomorrow.

- Can't your mother help you?

- She's helped plenty.

She's taught me all I know.

Can I have another?

Here. Put this in your pocket instead.

- I'm only sorry it isn't more.

- Who bit your hand?

- I burned it.

- Let me see it.

What were you trying to do?

Fry it for dinner?

- I'll get something for it.

- It'll be all right.

Got any oil or butter

in this cockroach trap?

We sell drinks, not food.

It's a bad burn. Come home with me.

- I'll dress it for you before it gets worse.

- Thank you. It'll heal.

What's the matter with you?

You're afraid to be seen with me?

This is a woman, Theo,

who is far from young, far from pretty...

but she was good to me, and kind.

She's evidently had a great deal of trouble

and a hard life...

and there's nothing at all

distinguished or unusual about her.

We talked about all sorts of things. ;

her life, her troubles, her poverty...

her health, her loneliness.

If you had nothing at all,

it'd make no difference.

Since you came over and talked to me,

I don't feel alone anymore.

I don't know how to say it.

The clergymen would call us sinners.

Is it a sin to love, Theo,

to be in need of love?

Not to be able to live without love?

Cousin Mauve.

Vincent. I'm sorry to put off seeing you...

but we artists have to be selfish,

you know.

We have to save ourselves.

After all, with each painting,

we die a little.

What have you there?

I'm trying to draw.

I was wondering if you'd be willing

to help me.

I wouldn't ask much. Just let me

watch you work now and then.

And sometimes, when you're resting...

if you would look at my things

and tell me my mistakes.

You think that's not asking much?

But these are just copying exercises.

Don't you have anything of your own?

You've been out at the beach

at Scheveningen.

Don't be in such a hurry,

seascapes are difficult.

Yes, indeed.

You know, I expected to find you a dullard.

I was wrong.

They're clumsy, most of them,

but I can see what you're getting at.

And that you've worked.

Yes, that...

Tell me something.

What kind of an artist do you want to be?

I want to create things that touch people.

I want to move them so they say,

"He feels deeply and tenderly."

That's fine.

But before you can move people...

you first have to learn your business.

It needs skill as well as heart.

Tell me something.

- Have you ever worked in color?

- No.

You better start working right away

in watercolors and oil.

It'll help your drawing.

- I don't know anything about color.

- I will teach you.

We'll work together here.

- Cousin Mauve...

- No.

When I'm less tired.

Now, you'll need some watercolors.

Here they are.

Some brushes, some oil...

and... No. This is an incomplete set...

but it'll do for now.

There's a palette, palette knife,

oil, turpentine.

Better have a couple of these.

Now, to improve your drawing,

you'll need to use casts.

Now let me see. Yes.

Take these home with you

and see that you work from them...

not less than

three hours each day, faithfully.

- Have you a place to work?

- I found a flat near the market...

- Has it got good light?

- I usually work out...

- How are you fixed for money?

- Theo's been sending me money.

The first few months

are always the hardest.

I don't suppose

a little extra will be unwelcome?

- Cousin Mauve...

- That will help you set yourself up.

- I can't tell you how...

- Not at all.

Now, come back next week,

let me see what you've done.

Please forgive me for barging in

when you're so tired.

Don't. That's all right.

- Just take these with you.

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