Lymelife Page #4

I just wish you'd said

something sooner.

I'll get a couple of guys

over here right away.

Oh, you don't need

to do that.

I mean, well,

you could take it

out of my commissions.

Oh, are you kidding me?

Please.

You deserve it.

Just tell Charlie

it's a bonus.

I can give you a bonus, right?

Don't worry.

Charlie's in the city

late tonight.

This here is wrong.

I know.

Mickey.

Oh, Mickey.

Mom?

Dad?

Okay, we're cool.

You have to inhale

like, uh...

like your mom just caught you

doing something really bad.

Watch, like this.

Mommy's coming.

Mommy's coming.

Holy sh*t.

You're cute.

I am?

I mean, I know.

If you were, like,

three years older,

we could go out.

'Cause I only go out

with older boys.

They're... they're more mature.

Some of them

even have mustaches.

Sh*t.

Oh, you like mustaches?

You got a long way

to go.

Well, I mean,

my dad doesn't really have one.

He's the one I take after.

Your dad doesn't need one

to attract the ladies.

What do you mean?

Let me put it this way.

I wouldn't be so hip to taking

after him so much if I were you.

That's all.

Well, why the f*** not?

I'm just saying, like...

okay, the last person I want

to end up like is my mother.

I mean, the both of them

are just so... I don't know...

phony or something.

Phony?

Have you been reading that book

about the kid

who runs away

from private school?

Actually, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I have.

Well, you know, it turns out

the only one who's phony is...

Are you stoned?

You look stoned.

No.

- Are you feeling it?

- You make me...

Turns out that the only one

who's phon... who's phony

is, you know,

f***ing what's-his-name.

Uh, the... the...

the kid who... who...

who tells the story.

F***ing Caulfield.

So?

So?

Anyways, as I was saying,

older boys...

they can take a hint.

You know, they don't have

to do much guessing.

Like, for example, when a girl's

wearing mistletoe in her hair,

pretty much means one thing.

Oh, wow, yeah.

That's beautiful.

I think mommy's

really coming.

Hey.

What happened?

I thought you guys were going

to the church party.

Yeah, yeah, it was...

it was beat.

What's that smell?

Is... is that...

oh, yeah, I was just

showing her this trick.

Scotty, don't do that.

You're gonna burn down

the house.

That's your dad.

My dad's here?

Yeah, yeah,

he's helping, um...

he's gonna help us

with the sunroom.

Hey.

How you guys doing?

You staying out of trouble?

Yeah, how... how are you,

Mr. Bartlett?

I'm pretty good.

Nice shirt there, big guy.

Yeah.

We should, um,

get back.

Uh, yeah, to the, uh...

to the... to the site.

We got some late, uh,

customers.

So, uh, I'll see you

back at the house.

Be good.

Bye.

Holy sh*t.

Do you think he knew?

Scott, um...

your dad's f***ing my mom.

I mean, come on, fixing

the sunroom in the basement?

He is not.

Is too.

Oh, man.

I feel...

I feel...

Oh.

Holy sh*t.

Oh, holy f***ing sh*t.

Seized the American embassy

in Tehran.

They took many hostages.

You have a rough night

last night, kiddo?

Uh, are you sure

you want to go to school?

You feel okay?

Uh-huh.

Well, come here

and eat something.

Oh, no, I'm fine.

The bus. I'm late.

You should put something

in your stomach.

I'll take you.

Come on. Sit down.

You know, that's okay.

I'm okay. Everything's great.

I'll see you guys later.

Hold on.

Your brother's leaving

on Tuesday... Tuesday now.

Come on, guys.

Cheer up.

Oh, don't mind us.

Go... yeah, have a good time.

Go ahead.

But what could be better

than hanging here

with doom and gloom?

Look, just promise me

you won't be a hero.

No, remember, you can always

hide out somewhere safe

and just wait till it's over.

Ma, it's not world war ii.

Yeah,

it's the Falkland islands.

Probably won't even be

a single shot fired.

But if there is,

Jimmy's on the front line,

first to go in.

Dick!

No, ma, that's bull...

come on, Scotty.

That's bullshit.

No, is...

is he really joking?

He just told me.

He just told me about

the big scary spanish guys.

Fuckhead.

So full of sh*t.

Mom, they just activated me

because...

they're mobilizing

the troops,

I mean, have them sitting

on aircraft carriers,

smoking cigarettes, probably.

Yeah, probably.

- Yeah?

- Hopefully.

- Some turnout, huh?

- Yeah.

- Mr. Popular all of a sudden.

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you should slow down.

You should speed up.

You want to dance with me?

Come on.

Live a little.

- Okay.

- Come on.

No, hey, no, sh*t bag.

Too young for that.

Tastes like piss anyway.

It is piss.

Shut up, dick.

Wow.

The hero, huh?

Ah, not quite yet.

Adrianna, will you go

get me my drink?

Sure.

Are you really that sick,

bringing her here?

She's my mom, Scott.

I can't not let her do things.

A long island iced tea, please.

Don't you mean an iced tea

without the long island part?

It's for my mom.

Can I dance with you guys?

Yeah.

Kids, uh,

I'm gonna call it quits.

- Oh.

- Okay?

You sure?

- Yeah, I'm just having...

- You okay?

Yeah, no, I'm...

I'm a little tired.

Yeah?

So I... I'll see you later

before you go, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, honey.

You gonna take Scotty home?

- Yeah, of course, of course.

- Okay.

- Bye, mom.

- Love you guys.

Hey, dad.

Dad, think I can, uh,

talk to you for a second?

What?

Think I can talk

to you for a second?

Yeah, go ahead.

All right, here, come here.

Come here, over here.

Hey, we're dancing.

I know, but just want to talk

to him for a second, okay?

- All right.

- Just for a second.

Yeah, just a second.

If I disappointed you

somehow, I'm sorry.

But what am I

gonna do about it?

You've got your mother's

hard-to-please gene.

I'm just saying,

whatever it is you're doing,

just don't flaunt it around

so much.

And what is it I'm doing,

hmm?

You know.

Tell me.

No, no, I want you to tell me.

Hmm?

I'm asking you a question,

soldier. Answer me.

Huh?

What, you can't take

a little love tap now and then?

Tell me. Come on.

You better learn

how to defend yourself.

You're going

over there to fight.

You let those f***ing spics

push you around like that?

Come on.

Come on.

Tough guy, come on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, come on, Jimbo.

You've been waiting

a long time for this.

Come on.

Come on.

Give it to me.

Come on.

Give it to me. Give it to me.

Give it to me!

Come on!

Give it to me!

Come on. Come on.

F***.

F***!

Whatever it is you're doing,

just watch it.

F***ing Scott, dad.

What did I tell you

about this world, hmm?

You're either chasing something,

or you're running away

from something.

Me, I chase.

You?

But maybe I'm wrong

about you.

Maybe a little piece of me

rubbed off on you, huh?

Just a little piece.

Don't get shot to pieces

over there.

I'm never gonna speak

to you again.

No, you said

you were leaving tomorrow.

You told mom

you'd see her before.

I heard you.

Do you have to leave now?

I'm in the f***ing service,

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