Lymelife Page #5

Scott.

I have to go and fight.

When do you ship out?

Maybe... maybe I can come

and visit.

I don't know. I'll probably

go out first, right away.

That's cool.

Can you bring me back a rifle

or a grenade or something?

I don't carry a rifle.

What do you mean?

What do you have, an Uzi?

Oh, f***.

I'm a communications specialist.

Communications what?

You know radar in MASH?

That's me.

No, you said...

No, I didn't say anything.

You assumed,

which is obviously something

you shouldn't be doing

so much of.

Are you kidding me?

You're like radar?

I'm not like f***ing radar,

okay?

I just do what he does

on the show.

You think I like being stuck

in uniform

in f***ing middle

of nowhere,

taking orders form a bunch

of a**holes with guns?

So quit.

And what?

What, come home?

Everything's gonna be okay?

Dad's been doing this

as long as I can remember.

And as long as she

f***ing takes this,

it's gonna go on and on.

You're gonna rot your f***ing

stomach out like I did.

I feel like

I'm in The Twilight Zone.

Yeah, well, welcome

to our wonderful little family

and our perfect little

suburban life.

You know what?

Dad's right about one thing.

You should go to college

in another state

way across the f***ing country.

Yeah, maybe

I'll just give up

and become p*ssy like radar.

I really hope you don't.

Who's there?

Uh, just me.

What's with the shifty eyes?

It makes you look like you're...

ashamed of something.

Yeah.

Uh, no.

I was just coming to see

if she was around

so we could ride the bus.

She got a ride.

From who?

Listen, at her age,

things change every day, okay,

at any age.

That's one thing

you can be sure of in life.

Things change.

Scott, listen.

Tomorrow she might be right back

on the bus with you.

Who knows?

Okay?

Is that a tear in your eye?

What are you talking about?

Writing is on the wall, man.

She's totally slutting it out

with Blaze.

So?

What's it to me?

I thought you were, like,

totally f***ing

in love with her

since you were eight.

Well, don't you know

things change in life, idiot?

- A**hole.

- Dick.

Sorry.

I don't know, man.

Maybe when I was a kid,

but now it's just...

it was the only way

I could've, you know...

Holy sh*t, you mean you...

all right, keep it down,

dick weed.

You can't leave me

hanging out to dry.

You've got to tell me

everything.

Hope we have nice weather

for your confirmation.

What's wrong, Scotty?

I'm sorry.

Why are you sorry?

- 'Cause I thought

you were crazy.

Here, try these.

Go ahead.

Tell me why you thought

I was crazy.

Because, mom,

you're never happy.

You hate dad.

And now I do too.

Scotty, don't tell me

how I feel.

And why are you

even worrying yourself

with, uh, my problems

with your father?

Well, they're kind of

my problems too

when he's f***ing Mrs. Bragg.

Scott, god damn it.

How dare you speak to me

like that?

Some friend you are, Lando.

Blaze, where'd you come up

with that?

Just watch it, man.

F***ing idiot.

You're such a f***ing liar.

You so lied your wimpy

little baby brat ass off.

Do you have nothing to say?

What did you hear?

I heard that you fingered me

and it was like

the inside of a jelly doughnut.

I mean, ew, Scott,

that is so disgusting.

Sh*t.

I mean, what the f***

did I ever do to you?

I don't know.

You treat me different.

Maybe it's because

I, like, liked you.

Idiot.

Look, half the guys

in my grade

lie about this sort of thing

all the time, all right?

I'll just say it was made up.

You know how it is.

I'm already getting

weird phone calls.

You know, that's the third...

god, you are

such an a**hole.

Do you think I'm a slut?

No.

Well, I'm not, okay?

I'm not like my mother.

I-i know that.

Oh, so you think

my mom's a slut?

Okay, I didn't say that.

You said you think...

Well, she is, okay?

She's a big, fat, slutty whore.

I can't even look at her.

Maybe they'll, like,

die together

in a car accident

or something.

You know

this is the third rail, right?

Really?

Is that all

you have to say?

You know, they say no matter

where you are on long island,

you can always hear the train.

Can't get far enough away.

What are you,

Walt Whitman now?

And don't follow me.

Your father called.

Yeah?

Yeah, he, uh...

he said he got tickets

to the game tonight

at the coliseum.

He wants you to be ready

to leave by 6:
00.

I don't want to go.

What do you mean, he doesn't

want to go to the game?

He loves the islanders.

Where is he?

Is he in his room?

Is he sick?

He knows.

He knows what?

He knows that you're

a motherf***er, literally.

What kind of sh*t

is that to say?

You do f*** mothers,

don't you?

Man, you can take the girl

out of queens, am I right?

Yeah, and what are you,

King Farouk all of a sudden

now you got a few dollars

in your pocket?

I can't do this anymore, Mick.

You can't do what?

I don't love you anymore.

I cannot stand

the sight of your face.

I do not want to be

in the same room with you.

I-i find you so ugly.

And I can't even stand

the way you f***ing smell,

the way you brush your teeth,

the way you eat

your f***ing food.

Oh, you got the f***ing

sh*t-eating grin on your face

all the time.

You f***ing drive me

up the f***ing wall.

And I can't live with myself

if I have to spend

another night in bed with you.

You make me sick to my stomach.

Hey, f*** this garbage!

I'm gonna go get Scott,

and I'm taking him to the game.

God damn it, Mickey.

I will not be humiliated

in front of my children anymore.

Humiliated?

What the f***

are you talking about?

I break my ass

for this family!

Oh, bullshit.

And you spend more time

with your goddamn fig tree...

my mother got me

that fig tree.

She told me not to marry Irish.

- Please.

- Jesus Christ.

And if you want to bring

our wedding day into this,

that's an even bigger issue.

F*** this nonsense!

I'm gonna go get Scott.

I'm going to the game.

Christ, look,

I made my decision.

What, you're telling me now

that you weren't happy

on your wedding day?

Telling me

that you felt trapped

minutes before the ceremony

didn't exactly bring

a f***ing smile to my face.

I was talking about the tux.

So this is all just

some big misunderstanding?

- Maybe, maybe.

- Oh, okay.

You know what? Maybe?

Well, no more.

I made my decision.

I want you out

of this f***ing house.

Do you know

why I go with other women?

Oh, Christ.

Do you know why I go

with other women?

Because they don't tell me

that I make them sick

to their stomach!

- I don't care.

- That's why I do that.

- Shut the f*** up.

- F*** you.

F*** you.

I'm tired of you rubbing my face

in this sh*t.

You get the f***

out of this house.

Oh, come on, please.

And go where?

Where do you think I'm gonna go?

I'm not gonna get...

Get out of my house.

What are you doing?

What are you, f***ing crazy?

This is my house.

- This is my house.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm crazy.

I am crazy.

I'm f***ing insane right now.

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