M*A*S*H

FADE IN:

EXT. LANDING AREA OUTSIDE 4077TH MASH – DAY

Our attention is concentrated on a sign reading: "THIS IS

WHERE IT IS – PARALLEL 38." Below these words, arrows point

to "NORTH KOREA" in one direction, "SOUTH KOREA" in opposite

one. Two Air Rescue helicopters are coming in low from the

north, descending to a point just outside the entrance to

the hospital Admitting Ward.

Transferring our attention to the helicopters, our gaze goes

from the first sign to a second one, on which all we can

read at first are the very large letters: "M-A-S-H." Moving

closer to the helicopters as they hit the ground, we can

make out the rest of the sign. Above the four large letters

it says:
"4077TH," and then we see there is the remainder of

a word following each of the large letters, but in much

smaller print, so that "M-A-S-H" becomes "Mobile Army Surgical

Hospital." The helicopters land and enlisted men of the U.S.

Army Medical Corps Carry two wounded soldiers from each into

the Admitting Ward.

LIEUTENANT COLONEL HENRY BLAKE, a permanent member of the

Medical Corps and Commanding Officer of the 4077th, watches

grimly as the wounded are borne from the helicopters into

his hospital. CORPORAL "RADAR" O'REILLY, with a long thin

neck, large ears and a knack for anticipating his Colonel's

wishes, moves up close behind him.

HENRY:

(loudly)

O'Reilly!

RADAR:

(at his side)

Yes, sir?

HENRY:

Dammit, Radar, wait till I call you!

Tell Major Burns...

RADAR:

One of the surgeons from the day

shift will have to stay on duty

tonight?

HENRY:

Yes, dammit, and...

He interrupts himself, frightened by the intense expression

on Radar's face. The Corporal's head is turning back and

forth like an actual radar receiver, monitoring the northern

horizon where the valley of a river meanders between

mountainous ridges.

HENRY:

O'Reilly, what is it?

(appalled at the

thought)

There aren't more choppers coming?

RADAR:

I'm afraid so, Colonel.

HENRY:

We've got too many wounded for us to

handle now! Get on the phone right

away and...

RADAR:

Yes, sir, I'll see if I can reach

General Hammond in Seoul for you.

You think he'll finally break down

and give us two more surgeons?

The DISTANT SOUND of more HELICOPTERS becomes faintly audible

to the normal human ear, and a moment later one appears over

a ridge.

TIME LAPSE:

EXT. MOTOR POOL AND RAILROAD DEPOT – 325TH EVACUATION

HOSPITAL – YONG-DONG-PA – DAY

Two officers come from opposite directions toward a Jeep,

each carrying a Valpac and trailing a barracks bag. Though

they still wear such later-to-be-discarded refinements as

captain's bars on their caps and overcoats, they are far

from West Point standards in dress and manner. DUKE, 29, is

still solidly built like the fullback he once was. HAWKEYE,

28, a former end, is taller and rangier, wears glasses. Their

accents, Georgia and Maine respectively, are in sharp

contrast. A MOTOR POOL SARGEANT who has driven the Jeep up

climbs out.

MOTOR POOL DRIVER

You the guys going to the 4077th?

DUKE:

I'm one of 'em.

HAWKEYE:

(state of Maine

affirmative)

Ayuh. I'm the other then.

As they stow their gear in the back of the Jeep.

MOTOR POOL SARGEANT

Lots of luck.

He leaves.

HAWKEYE:

My name's Hawkeye Pierce.

DUKE:

Duke Forrest.

Hawkeye takes the driver's seat. Duke, getting into the right-

hand side, has no objection, just a question.

DUKE:

You got directions?

HAWKEYE:

Ayuh, only it's early, I need a drink

to wake me up.

DUKE:

I got some.

He turns around and opens his barracks bag, where he finds a

pint bottle conveniently located near the top.

HAWKEYE:

Make it yourself, or is it real?

DUKE:

Georgia, where I come from, it's

real if you make it yourself. But I

been buying from the Yankee Government

since they put me in this soldier

suit and give me a rate.

HAWKEYE:

Tax-free booze. It's about all you

can say for army life.

DUKE:

(passing bottle)

Where you from with that crazy way

of talking?

HAWKEYE:

Crabapple Cove. Maine.

DUKE:

Damn! That must be about as far north

as you can get.

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