Made in Italy

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1

Hear him ?

- So what?

- "So what?"

Why do you keep whistling ?

- Sorry ?

- Why do you keep f***ing whistling ?

- That's my goddamn business.

- No, it's mine too.

- He keeps whistling !

- Max, drop it, get back to work.

He can't even whistle properly.

- Hey, Riko.

- Hey.

Your friend's a jerk.

You're not so bad yourself.

He's worse.

- See you.

- Bye.

As for corruption

in the public service sector,

we're bottom of the league.

Italy is Europe's most corrupt country,

beaten only by Bulgaria.

The shower was freezing.

What's up with the boiler ?

M:

Everything you deserve

Angela's invited us to dinner tomorrow.

- Patrizio's bringing his new boyfriend.

- Someone texted you.

"M" ?

As in "matador" ?

Or "motherfucking lover" ?

- Save it with a fake female name.

- Don't look at my phone.

- It was staring right at me.

- Don't ever do that again !

I'm going to Milan on Monday,

I'm taking an afternoon for myself.

A little louder,

they can't hear you in Palermo !

These speakers are mine !

Do you want to blow them ?

- You're still pilfering my records ?

- Sometimes.

I was just finishing up...

The footage I shot with the captions:

"How did I get here ?",

"What am I doing here?"...

I'll make a short movie.

Not about you, rockstar.

I'll shoot more material then edit it.

What's up ?

I've found a studio flat in the centre.

What for ?

I'm happy here, I can't

afford to pay rent.

- Neither can you !

- We'll manage.

You need to move on.

You need to grow up.

- Cut the apron strings.

- You've rowed with mum ?

Leave her out of it.

I don't want you to settle for this.

It's too easy to settle.

It's too easy to settle ?

What's wrong ?

It's Friday.

Everyone's an expert now, you see ?

"Today it went up to 215".

215 what?

"The spread !"

The spread ?

There's no smoking in my car.

What? Since when ?

Since I quit.

What the f*** do I know anyway ?

Instead I had to worry about him,

for the spread. Do you get me ?

Is everything Okay 7

Yes, can I call you back ?

It's best I call you back.

I will.

- This calendar's five years old.

- Yes.

Anyway, spreads, sacrifices,

various bullshit and then Copelli.

- Copelli ?

- Punga.

Oh, Punga.

They fired him today.

That's the third in under a month.

I know... you don't care about the spread.

- Where are we going ?

- To Baracca.

Didn't it shut down ?

- Do they still play rock music ?

- Yeah !

Rock music... you wish !

Won't they let you in ?

'Cause of your crap shoes ?

On the train, dimwit!

Here he is !

This is Riko.

This is Carla, that's Miriam.

Miriam's a beautician.

Should you need her...

Whereas Carla is my osteopath

and unofficially... she was my model.

- What do you mean by "unofficially" ?

- Well...

Whatever he's told you,

I've never done anything with him.

I sat for free,

so drinks are on you tonight.

- Have you been friends long ?

- Unfortunately, yes.

So what's his real name ?

Why's he called Carnival ?

Is that his surname ?

He signs his paintings with that name too.

Does he look miserable ?

- No.

- Doesn't he look like a carnival puppet?

- Yes.

- Plus he's done jack sh*t all his life.

Not bad, huh ?

If you're having too much fun,

we'll tone things down.

Miriam... a beautician...

Right...

Carla !

- Am I interrupting ?

- No, we were waiting for you.

I heard you liked young guys,

but this is going too far.

Mama, you've had your say,

you can go now.

Apart from the age thing,

isn't pulling someone's wife sleazy ?

- You know she's my wife.

- Ex-wife.

Now go away.

Miriam, do you have the hots

for oldies too ?

F*** you !

Did you study to be such an idiot?

Carla, come with me.

- Mattia, go away.

- Come back another day !

Carla...

Let's not make a scene.

You know you have to come anyway.

Listen, Mattia.

Maybe, just maybe

she doesn't want to talk to you.

Why don't you just mind your own

goddamn business ?

F*** off.

- "F*** off" ?

- Yes.

No!

Put it away.

Put it away, idiot.

Come on, let's go.

You didn't quit for long.

Sorry, I messed up.

I forgot to bring nappies !

Choco-Riko !

The super-hero ice-cream,

white on the top, brown in your pants !

Sh*t, man...

What nutters !

Hi, Enea.

How's it going ?

Not good, stay away.

Stay away.

Do you remember this ?

The magnetic jacket.

This'll attract them all, remember ?

Let's do what we did last time.

There, now they're all in here.

You're clean.

I'll get rid of them okay ?

Bye, Enea.

You didn't do military service, Alle,

I'll tell you the quartermaster story.

- No, please !

- The army quartermaster was the guy

who worked in the office and decided

who would be on guard duty.

You had to take turns.

Of course, there were those

who hassled him:

"Don't put me on duty,

why does it have to be me..."

They'd complain, insist,

and at times make threats,

so to shut them up, the quartermaster

would put someone on duty

who didn't deserve it

and whose only crime

was that of toeing the line.

The quartermaster's law is

the same law this country's based on:

those who moan, break the law,

and put the pressure on,

dodge guard duty but instead

send, in their place,

those who do their duty in silence.

That's his piece de resistance

when he meets someone new.

Because he was a quartermaster.

And he Still is.

Is this Lebanese food, Angela ?

It's delicious.

Do you like it? I'm glad.

We like to eat ethnic food !

Last time she cooked Italian food

I was in middle school.

- Idiot !

- Meaning last year...

He resat his exams several times.

- Alle, what do you do ?

- My partners and I run a gym.

- Is business good ?

- He's fishing for clients, how sad.

Patrizio told me you're an accountant,

business is great, thanks.

- And Angela, you're a teacher ?

- Yes, at the Marconi School.

- A high school.

- Great, what about you ?

- I work in car insurance.

- I live it up among pigs.

He works at the Veroni salami factory.

I watch him living it up with the pigs.

- I told him they were jerks.

- He works at the salami factory too.

- Hairdresser, I run a salon with a friend.

- And so...

Just so I know, if I call you a f*ggot,

do you mind ?

- Yes.

- Good man ! I like your attitude !

Not like him, he calls himself a f*ggot

by himself.

- Just think, I have to live with him.

- I'll switch him off, if you like.

One more thing. Sorry...

I always get to ask this.

Will you be with him for

a month at least ?

Because we grow fond of people easily.

And we've already grown fond of

around 50, before you...

- That's not true !

- I can dismantle him, if you like.

- One last thing...

- I'll say it, we all know what it is.

Don't worry about them,

they look coked up to the eyeballs.

Due to their exuberance.

But they're not, they wake up like this.

Enjoy your evening with wifey.

A real shag party I bet !

- What do you want?

- Rebecchi too now ?

Enough, for god's sake ! Stop !

You're telling me ? It's not up to me !

What's on the menu today... rat?

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