Made Of Honor

Wow...

Looking good...

Oh, yeah, nice to see you.

Hey...

That dress needs dry-cleaning.

- Here you go.

- Thank you kindly, Monica.

Monica, Monica?

Oh sh*t, Hillary!

Okay...

- Hi, Bill.

- Oh hey Snowwhite.

Where's 11B?

Bingo!

What did you say that thing was?

It's time for a little action.

Monica... It's Bill.

I've got some dictation

for you, Monica.

I've got a big secret

for you, Baby.

How did you get up here

so soon?

Monica.

Oh my eyes!.

I can't see!

Who let you in!?

What happened... Where's Monica?

What happened to Monica?

- How did you get in here?

- She told me where the key was.

- I can't see.

- Did she say it was ok to dry-hump her roommate?

She said, you would be in the

library cause you were a geek...

I am not a geek!.

God!

My God.

What was that, mace?

"Eternity", by Calvin Klein.

I gotta be so careful who I

get into bed with from now on.

It would be a big adjustment

for you, wouldn't it?

God!

I do that every time.

I've invented a solution

for that. Seriously.

It is something that goes around the

coffee cup, so you don't burn your hand.

I'm gonna call it "The Coffee Collar".

Brilliant idea.

I know all about you.

I know you whole wrap.

- You do?

- Yeah. You're a senior...

who prays on freshmen. You've slept

with half my floor.

- Well, half your floor was female.

- What ever.

And you once met Bono,

which I suspect is total bullshit.

No, it's true.

He signed my CD.

It's upstairs in my room

with my...

"Coffee Collar",

if you wanna see it.

- Are you hitting on me?

- No. I'm going of your look.

- My look...

- Yeah, doggybull look.

- Are you calling me a dog?

- No, it's a theory I have.

- Oh, Casanova has a theory.

- Yeah. When a girl

is attracted to a guy, she has a look.

It's her tell, like poker.

It's the same look a dog gets,

right before you put down the bowl.

- You're offensive. And you're crazy.

- No, I'm honest.

I believe honesty is the best

policy.

Alright...

You want me to be honest with you?

- Sure.

- I'm majoring in fine art.

- Right.

- I'm studying the golden proportions

of the human face. And you're

nose is bent and

and it drips down at the bottom.

A feature that is excentuated

by the thinness of your upperlip.

And your eyes,

are too far apart,

but they have to be

to accominate that bent nose.

And I feel sorry for you,

that you have to validate yourself through

insatiable-meningless-ego-sport-sex,

with insecure girls like my roommate.

I... Would never have sex with

someone... Like you.

Hey come here!

That was amazing.

- What was?

- The honesty.

That was better than sex

without the... The crying.

- Actually it did feel pretty good.

- Yeah, no one's ever

been that honest with me before.

- It's called a friend.

I'm Tom, by the way.

- Hannah.

- Hannah? That's a palndrome.

Well, good night.

Good night.

- Your hands, Clammy...

- Well, I can see that you're knocked out.

Tom, is that you?

Can I see your Bono-autograph?

She's all yours, friend.

Monica, get some sleep.

What time is it?

I'm late.

What are you doing tonight?

I don't do "back to backs".

- Isn't that what we were doing last night?

- No, that was something different.

"Back to Backs" is seeing each other two

nights in a row. You know I don't do that.

- Couldn't you just break one of your stupid rules?

- No.

- For me.

- I'm sorry, but I don't break the rules.

I have a rule about that.

See you next week.

Thanks.

- Excuse me.

- Sorry.

Can I get a grande drip,

and a decaff,

triple grande, non-fat,

extra hot, stirred milk como lafietta.

With whip cream,

extra caramel.

Fill that 70% of the way.

Thank you.

Here, let me put a "Coffee-

Collar" on that.

- Thank you.

- I hear that the guy that invented that

gets a dime for each one used.

- You're kidding.

I am not.

That could add up.

I think I picked up yours by accident.

Sorry about that.

- That's alright. Thank you.

- Any time.

Byebye.

Gloria.

Morning.

Good morning, Hannah.

Coffee, the way you like it.

Perfect timing. I just finished

working on his balls.

That's eh... Yeah!

So I made a reservation.

- So what rule is this?

- No "back to backs".

Isn't that the same as the

"no more than once a week"-rule?

No, the "no more than once a week"-rule

works monday to fridays.

So theoretically you could have a

sunday night and monday whithout breaking it.

Exactly, you got it.

Here we go.

Hey, good morning.

Can I get the steamed buns

the scallaped steamed ducklings

and the vegetarian and shrimp steamed...

- Thank you.

- For what?

You know how much I love the fried stuff.

You look after me.

Excelent.

So, what did you say?

- She was hurt, but you know...

- But you where honest, right?

What? I was.

I am. Always!

I know you are, but it's just shocking

to see how you use it as a shield.

Maybe I should lie.

Be more like Dennis Philips,

and say what ever it takes to get a woman into bed.

- No, do not be like Dennis Philips.

- He's so gross.

- He only hit on you once.

At my fathers funeral!

Okay, so he's not known

for his sensitivity.

Oh, God.

Anyways...

- What?

- Nothing.

I know that "nothing". It's not

nothing, it's something.

- "Anyway"...?

- Anyway we both know,

you don't need to lie to get a woman

into bed.

Gloria.

I don't wanna lose that.

Can I keep that? Thank you.

See there's another rule too.

The 24 hour-rule.

I can't call her for another

Cause then it appears

that I'm too desperate.

You know, Dan sent

me another letter?

Asking you to move to Canada

and marry him again?

- A slice of apple-crum pie?

- No, we did that last time.

- You guys broke up like a year ago.

- 19 months.

- You're counting?

- No! He is... It was in the letter.

Lemon butter cream cup?

Not feeling the cream cup today.

- Cranberry orange muffin?

- Hannah, come on. You're losing it.

- I know, I know... Okay.

- Think about it.

- Come on. You're disappointing.

- I got it, I got it...

- Yeah!

- Wait, I so have it...

Cream cheese soral brownie.

You're so good!

What do you think of this?

I think we should get this.

Tom, I am not going to another

one of your fathers weddings.

Thank you.

Hannah? Please?

Take one of the girls you've

been rubbing up against.

"No weddings or family events".

That's right.

I forgot that rule.

- It gives the wrong impression.

- It does.

- Is this made with real alligator?

- Yes, baby-alligator.

- You should be ashamed of yourself.

- Look at you.

Hello there...

And who would you be?

I love you. Yes I do.

I love you.

You're so pretty. Yes you are.

You're beatiful. Yes you are. Your beatiful face...

I love you, love you, love you.

You should try saying that to

a human sometime.

What?

A human?

To say it to a human?.

You're sweet.

Love you.

Hannah, please.

Come to the wedding.

He gets married and I go. I go because

he's my father and I care deeply for the man.

And everybody knows he doesn't love

them, and they don't love him.

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