Madea Goes to Jail Page #3

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And it changed my life forever.

I tried to look for you every day

after that.

You must have been looking

in some pretty high places then.

Candy, I don't understand

why you are out there on those streets.

Look, you deal with things your way

and I'll deal with them mine.

- I don't need you to be judging me.

- I'm not judging you.

Yes, you are. What you do think

you're doing talking to me crazy?

- Will you-?

- Don't you shush me.

Telling me to-

Am I embarrassing you now?

Y'all got something to say too?

What you got?

- Anybody else?

- Please.

I'm not your enemy.

Hey. What's up, Josh?

Chuck, this is an old friend of mine.

Okay. How you doing? I'm Chuck.

Okay.

Hey, baby.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Thought you were in court?

I was. It got kicked.

She wasn't Mirandized.

What's this?

She's a friend of mine.

What's her name?

I-

I tried your friend.

You made bail quickly.

Candy, this is my fiance, Linda.

Oh, wait. Hold on.

You said that's your fiance?

You marrying her?

That'll never work.

I gotta go.

Hey, Candy.

Look.

This is my number.

If you need anything,

give me a call, all right?

Yeah.

- Well, are you gonna handle it?

- I- Yeah.

Honey,

you are an assistant district attorney.

You shouldn't hang out

with the likes of those people.

What are you doing with her?

Don't answer that.

She's an old friend.

I was trying to help.

Bad move.

What did I say, Linda?

Didn't I? Didn't I say it?

What did you say?

I was talking to your future wife here.

Remember that?

About the fact

that you feel guilty, Josh.

I know. I made it out of the ghetto too

but I don't apologize for it.

But these people,

oh, they will never let you forget.

As long as you let them do that,

you'll feel a sense of obligation to them.

- Now, am I right or am I right?

- That is not it.

Don't talk, just agree.

Well, whatever it is...

...the point is they were afforded

the same opportunities you were.

You did something, they didn't.

Linda, it's not always that simple.

Just agree to disagree

and change the subject.

- Okay, can we just order some food?

- Yes.

Oh, my dad is having a party here.

I gotta go pick up my kids.

Y'all gotta handle this.

I know Joe ain't having no party

at my damn house.

I know Joe ain't having no party

at my damn house.

Wait, just stay calm.

- Cora, who these people, Cora?

- I don't know.

- Cora, who these people in my house?

- I didn't know.

- Holy smoke.

- Who are all these people?

The music's too loud.

How could Joe have this party?

I know Madea gonna be upset.

Madea is upset.

Hey, sexy.

You look like a bowl

of peach ice cream.

Get out of my face

before I throw this oil all over you.

Oh, now you wanna get kinky, huh?

- Kinky?

- I like that.

- The devil is alive.

- Yeah.

Hey, sexy,

you wanna spend some time with me?

And be my client?

What kind of work she do, Cora?

A lawyer in a sick room,

a doctor in the court room?

She's a- She's a prostitute.

Say it, baby.

I'm a prostitute.

- A prosti-what?

- A prostitute is what she said.

Street walker. Woman of the night.

Oh, Cora, give me that oil.

The devil is alive.

The blood. The blood.

She's Mary Magdalene, Cora.

Madea, just stay calm, okay?

Baby, don't have

no nervous breakdown.

Stay calm, Madea. Just stay calm.

- Mabel, just-

- Where the hell is Joe?

He know I just got out of jail.

Hey, Mabel. Hell, I didn't even know

you was coming home.

How are you doing? Good to see you.

Joe, who the hell are all these people?

When I saw the news,

I said they gonna lock my sister up.

So I've been inviting all these people

so that she could have a good time...

...when she come home and I'm so-

Yeah, right. You know better

than this, don't you, Joe?

- Joe, what you doing? You all right?

- He is smoking out of this pipe.

I'm glad you're home, Mabel.

I'm so glad you're home.

Madea, I just want you to stay calm.

All these people are for you,

Mabel, enjoy yourself.

Enjoy yourself. Excuse me.

Excuse me, sexy slim.

- Just- You look calm. You calm?

- I'm calm. I'm clam.

- You look calm like a quiet storm.

- I'm calm. I'm calm.

The hell you doing upstairs

in my house?

And get the hell out of my bedroom.

She's got a gun!

Run! Run!

I don't wanna die.

I can make it work. I can give you

some Indian hair. That's right.

It'll be $75.

You got to make that work.

What about you?

What are you gonna have?

- That's right.

- Hello, ladies.

- All right, thanks.

- There you go.

- How are you doing?

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- All right?

Y'all take care of yourselves. Listen,

if you need anything, come see me.

-347 Chowder Lane.

- That's right.

All right.

Take care of yourselves.

- Hi, Donna.

- Hi, Ellen.

This is my friend, Candace.

- Here we go again.

- We've met.

This is my girl. We were in New York

together. I begged her to come here.

- And she finally came.

- Is that right?

- Taking care of yourself?

- Why are you all in my business?

- All right, Candy, Ellen is good people.

- I'm just here to help.

By thumping your Bible at me every five

minutes the way my grandmama did?

I don't know your grandmama

and I don't carry no Bible.

It's at home on my mantel.

You ain't got to carry it.

You know every word.

You better know it.

Amen.

Are you gonna give me some of them

or not?

You asking me?

Go on, act right, man.

She's good people.

May I have some, please?

"May I?"

Girl, you're sounding all educated.

Here.

Here's a voucher for some food

if you need it.

- What?

- You don't know how to say thank you.

Thank you.

You on drugs?

- Why?

- What is it, heroin or coke?

Don't you be touching me. You don't

know me. You need to back up.

- You need some clean needles?

- I do.

- What's wrong with you?

- Here you go.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Take care of yourselves.

And, Donna, I'm still waiting.

I know.

Donna, who is that fool?

Man, I've been on these streets

since I was 16 years old.

I've seen all kinds say they come

in the name of one God or another.

But that woman right there...

...she's real.

She's good folks, man.

She'll be around all types

of dope boys, pimps, addicts.

And she treats us all the same.

She preaches down at the prison.

Why she say she waiting on you?

I keep telling her I'll get off my street.

No, sir. Well, I don't-

Well, that's all I have. I-

That's the first and last name.

That's all I have.

Sure. No, I understand.

All right. Okay.

Okay, thank you.

- Any luck?

- No.

What about you?

Nope.

Man, you know, tell me again,

why are we doing this?

I'm just trying to find somebody

to help her get off these streets.

You've- You've never done this before

so it's-

We got history.

Oh, you-

- Not like that.

- You're trying to help this girl, man.

And I've never heard you mention her.

I've known you for, like, three years.

We're supposed to be looking for

vacation spots for your honeymoon.

- We are.

- No, no, no. We.

You called me up,

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