Magic Page #4

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Never expected|to find you here.

I've loved you|all my goddamn life.

I needed a piece of good|news about Peggy Ann Snow.

Shuffle the|goddamn cards fast.

We're gonna do|it right this time.

I just know we will,|because we both want it a lot.

Give me your deck.

Take my deck.

Spread the cards.

Take your card.

Pick it out.

Look at it.

Put it back on top.

Now, cut the deck once.

Take my deck,|look for your card.

When you find it tell me.

Look at me.

Should I think now.

Yes, very hard.

I am.

You're not, I can tell|by your eyes your not.

Well I'm frightened is why.

Nothing to be afraid of.

If it goes bad.

It won't go bad,

not if two people want|something as much as this.

There must be nothing|in your mind but your card.

Nothing in your mind but...

What?

My card.

Concentrate.

Just think, think hard.

Is it...

Please is it...

Is it the three of clubs?

The three of clubs?

I didn't fail.

I didn't fail.

I didn't fail.

I didn't fail.

I'll bet they don't give

service like that|at Grossinger's.

Drop in again in 15 years.

Why the jokes?

I'm kind of feeling|my way along.

I never fooled around before.

True.

I guess sex wasn't that|big a deal in my life.

What about Duke?

Mainly he blew|in my ear a lot.

True.

I deceived him into|thinking it drives me mad.

He tongues away at me

and I moan a lot but...

secretly I'm making|a grocery list.

Oh, I can be|a very crappy lady

if I put my mind to it.

Come here.

Let's you and me take off.

Just us.

You don't care for|Duke and you know it.

I dump Duke,

and you'd leave Fats,

that's your offer?

Yeah, just say the|word and we'll go.

A man appears after 15 years.

Says run away with me.

A girl ought to at least

be able to|take a bubble bath.

Think about it, right?

Why in the hell were you so|shy all those years ago, huh?

Hey what do you|say sports fans.

What's the matter?

Getting your period?

Feeling kinda blue.

I miss the city bad.

Oh the country grows on you.

So does fungus.

I told you once|already we'd leave.

When?

When I want to, now drop it.

What's so great here?

Tell me that.

Simmer down okay?

Okay.

Hey, how's this|for a solution?

You stay around|here and turn hayseed

and I'll head|back to Manhattan.

I take it the|silence means no?

Discussion's over.

That's all.

I want out of here!

Simmer the hell down!

Just because...

Watch it mister!

Just because some...

You've been warned!

Just because some|sagging b*tch of an ingenue

drops her pants for you!

Shut up!

Corky, you do it so good.

You're even better|than the garbage men.

Hey Ben,

how do you like it?

I think it's|going to be terrific.

What's with Gangrene?

Blue Cross|repossess your tongue?

Come on in, shut up.

Come on in Ben, I'll do|the whole routine for you?

How the hell did|you ever find me.

You're amazing.

I'll bet it was|that kid cab driver.

He must've called|the office and found ya.

Is that right, that's it?

Yeah, I told him|I was with William Morris.

He looked like a hustler,

so I gave him a|hundred to shut him up.

How much did|you give him to talk.

Doesn't matter.

Right, right,|right, right, right.

Right, you're here,|that's the main thing.

That's it, right.

Come on, grab yourself a seat.

And uh, watch.

Just remember that|I haven't got this

anywhere near|performance level yet.

How long ya|been like this kid?

Like what?

Oh my God, you don't|think that was for real?

How'd you think I rehearse?

It's no good.

It's for the act|for Christ sakes!

Watch now.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

for your viewing pleasure.

My version of|the Miser's Dream.

Was it a wet dream?

Shut up.

Imagine if you will.

When I have a wet dream|all that happens

is I wake up|covered with sawdust.

If you don't stop interrupting

I'm going to put|a contract out on you

with a mafia woodpecker.

Oh, what I wouldn't|give for a woodpecker.

Would you be quiet.

Don't encourage him,|ladies and gentlemen.

It's really a great|beginning, isn't it Ben.

Is this why you wouldn't|take the medical exam?

You figured|somebody'd find out?

Bullshit!

I'll take the stupid exam!

I was afraid of|success like you said.

I needed to get|my head on straight.

I'll take the exam,

do the show,

whatever you want.

What I want kid?

What I want is for|you to see somebody.

Who would I see?

Quit with the games!

Quit with the yelling!

Shut up!

He should show a little|grati-f***in'-tude.

You been slavin' away,

comin' up with|the great new stuff.

That was blockbuster|material mister.

When I come back with|Woody the Woodpecker,

they'll plotz in Vegas.

That's funny.

Nothin's funny.

Not anymore.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna make|a few phone calls.

Tell people you mean?

Corky, you ain't in control!

Ben,

you owe me a listen|don't you think?

Yeah, I was kind of out|of control back in the city.

I uh...

I could feel myself

starting to slip|down the iceberg.

So you took off,

and now you're fine?

Sure.

On account of Peg.

The local town pump,|terrific knockers.

Look Fats, please.

Come on will ya?

Sorry.

Um...

I've known her|ever since high school.

I never figured I'd have|a chance with her, but uh,

now everything's changed.

She believes in me.

Listen...

girls are for|down the line kid.

Right now, you|gotta let me help you.

I know a lot of people.

Beautiful doctors.

He means headshrinkers.

He just thinks|you're a fruit cake.

He doesn't, he never|said that, he's on our side.

He's the villain.

Don't forget that.

Never forget that.

Hey kid.

I'm gonna ask|you to do something.

It's a little something

anybody ought|to be able to do.

Now if you can do it, fine.

We'll forget this whole thing.

But if you can't,

we'll think about getting|you to see somebody fast.

Is it a deal?

Name it.

Make Fats shut up

for five minutes.

Five minutes.

I can make him|shut up for five years.

Wonderful.

I feel like|the village idiot

if you want to know the truth.

Can we talk or is it going|to be strictly semaphore?

How long so far?

There's 30 seconds.

Gosh, that's uh...

four and a half|minutes to go.

Think I'll make it?

Don't happen to have|another of those do ya?

Thanks.

Take two they're big.

Remember when|you said that Ben?

A pro never forgets|his good lines kid.

How long now?

Coming up to a minute.

Do you think we'll|laugh about this some day?

We might.

Make a terrific scene

if you ever decide to|write your autobiography.

Hey I know what|you should call it, um...

"Failing Upwards",

or, "How to Succeed|in Show Business,

by Outliving Everybody".

Two minutes yet?

A minute fortyfive.

This is very cruel|of you, you know that?

I don't mean it to be.

I don't know if I'll ever|be able to forgive you.

Well, that would be sad.

Time?

It's uh...

two and a half minutes to go.

I can't make it.

Well, I didn't|think you could.

Hello everybody.

This is Mrs. Norman Main.

My mother thanks you,|my father thanks you,

my sister thanks you,|and I thank you.

You have nothing|to fear but fear itself.

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