Magic Page #5

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Nothing to give but|blood sweat and tears.

Nothing to lose|but your change.

Here he is boys.

Here he is world.

Here's Fats.

You're not lettin'|him outta here.

He's the villain,|don't forget that.

Hey, I think you|better sit down.

Hey kid,

I have lived through|Tallulah Bankhead

and the death of Vaudeville.

I don't scare easy.

I need my chance.

Your only chance|is to get help fast

and that's what I'm|going to see happens.

Don't, ever raise|a hand to me again.

You're taking my one chance.

I'm your one chance.

He's right.

The Postman's right.

You're crazy.

I tried to stop him didn't I?

Tried, tried?

You failed.

God damn it.

Look at me.

You know it's|the hatch for you.

There's nothing wrong with me.

I know that,

and you know that.

But all those piss ant|dolts who run the world,

they hate us|because we're special.

They'll put you|somewhere deep and moody.

Don't talk that way please.

Cut the migraine sh*t.

Don't you care about anything?

Christ, don't you|care about the girl?

Peg?

I love Peg.

I hope she loves you too.

So on visiting day|she can bring crayons

and the two of you's|can color together.

What do you want from me?

You know goddamn well what.

I don't!

Liar.

Tell me!

Weakling.

I'm not, I'm not!

Stop the Postman!

I can't!

Gutless f***!

I can't!

Stop the Postman!

How, how with what?

Me, me, me, me, me!

Cork?

What's up, what is it?

Oh, I meant to ask.

Do you want me make|unthaw the asparagus tips,

or the French-cut green beans?

Either.

No fair.

You're the man

you've got to|make the decision.

Asparagus tips.

Hey what are you|doing in the woods?

Walkin', thinkin'.

About me?

You changin'|your mind about me?

Jesus no.

Better not you bastard.

Well what is it?

My head, you broke it.

Well what'll I do?

Can't think, help me.

I will don't worry.

I'll take care.

Ahh...

You're hurtin' me.

Sorry.

There you are,|that should do it.

That better?

I guess.

Good.

All right.

Does it show.

Uh...

Well, I'll slip you into your|overall outfit with a cap.

And uh, nobody will|be able to tell a thing.

Hey Fats?

Yeah.

I've been doin'|some thinking.

Yeah.

What would you say if I uh...

if I called the|police and told?

You ain't being logical.

Look, Gangrene|was taken care of

because he was going|to have you put away.

If you tell the cops,

they'll have you put away.

Well what'll we do with him?

Bring me any identification|he's got on him.

Why?

Time for a little dip.

After dinner get|yourself some stones

and stuff 'em in his pockets.

But I'm not that|strong a swimmer.

Just dog paddle|out to the middle

and drop him down.

I know this lake.

There's snapping|turtles out there.

Everybody said that.

Once there was a|water moccasin scare.

I don't care if the|Loch Ness monster's out there,

and he's ravenous.

Do it beautifully.

Hello?

Good morning.

Coffee's on.

Coffee's ready.

Good.

Careful.

Uh, Duke got home|very late last night.

He didn't much like the idea

of me being here|alone with a man.

He's watching us now.

Uh, do you think it's wise

for me to come up there now?

I think he wants to|watch us together.

Oh.

Give me five minutes.

Hey.

Has he got a telescope?

Because if he doesn't,

I'd like to say that

going to bed with you is maybe

the best three things|that ever happened to me.

And I'd love some coffee.

And I adore you.

And I take it|with cream and sugar.

And your breasts|belong in the Louvre,

which is a museum in Paris

that I plan on|visiting with you

once you get wise

and decide to leave|the old ear blower.

Are you ever somethin'.

Hello?

We're in the kitchen.

Hi Duke.

How are you?

Come on in, sit down.

Yeah, thanks.

Doing okay.

You take your coffee how?

Everything.

Sorry I wasn't|here to greet you.

Help with the|entertaining and all.

But somebody's|got to earn a living.

You're still in|real estate right?

No, I gave that up.

It was dull.

What I really like|is the out a doors.

Go fishing, hunting.

That probably seems|dull to someone like you.

No, not at all.

Fine, thanks.

And I do a little|sellin' nowadays.

Sundries, like that.

I'm surprised Peg here|didn't bring you up to date.

Well she may have.

The truth is,

once I start drinking wine,

you can forget about me.

Hey Duke, that stuff you sell?

You don't happen to|have a penis do you?

My last one caught|Dutch Elm Disease

and it's murder|getting an erection.

God damn, that's clever.

Don't tell schmucko.

Tell me.

'Cause I'm the talent.

Shhh...

Do you travel|a lot in your work?

How do you do that?

I mean that's terrific.

I'm really glad you're|here for me to see this.

Are you going to be good?

I mean it.

You promise?

Okay.

Ask him if he's|glad I'm here too?

Yeah, the both of you.

Thank you.

How long are you going to be?

Quick as I can.

As long as it takes me to|board up those far cabins.

Don't stay out too long.

You'll get soaked.

How'd I do.

Just unbelievable.

Too bad Fats wasn't here.

He might of|been a little help.

Gotten a couple of laughs.

You're always unbelievable.

Oh, brains as well as b*obs.

Corky, do you drive a Rolls?

No.

Well there's somebody's|white Rolls parked down there.

Sh*t.

It's gotta be Gangrene's.

Why would he leave it though.

Who's is it?

My agent.

He's rich as hell.

But still you just don't leave|an $80,000 car and walk away.

He must have|come looking for me.

Looking for you?

Yeah.

He's left the keys.

Yeah, look if|I level with you,

you won't let this get around?

I'm in hiding.

A lot of career problems.

I haven't been|behaving all that normal.

Well can you find out|what's happened to him.

This cars been here|a couple of hours.

Yeah, I'll sure as hell try.

Hey, would you mind|getting it unstuck?

Me driving an $80,000 car,

I'd mind that a lot.

Sadie?

Sadie?

It's me.

Is he in?

Please.

Don't yell at me Goddamn it.

I'm sick of hearing|about my erratic behavior.

How the hell|did you ever find me.

I tipped that bastard cabbie

so he wouldn't tell.

We were on a long walk

is why you|didn't find anybody.

Never mind who the we is,

finish about the car.

Ha, ha.

I'd love to have seen that.

You hitchhiking|a ride to Grossinger's.

Why didn't you have 'em|come and un-stick the car.

Quit yelling.

I should a known,

nobody touches your|Rolls but a Rolls man.

Sorry.

Duke's on his way.

Yes sir.

That was the we.

Yes sir, a lot.

It's not ridiculous.

We grew up together.

Yes she's married.

But I think she's|leaving him for me.

The marriage was over.

I'm not talking|about puppy love Ben.

I'm talking about salvation.

Some fish.

Some fish he takes me for.

Your old pal|I'm talking about.

I suspected.

His story's so full a holes.

Why do you keep|repeating that?

So a car is here, who care?

Besides, Corky|agrees with you.

It's a crazy story,

but there it is.

Some happy coincidence.

A guy drives 90 miles

and you and Corky|just happen to be

off in the woods|when he's snoopin'.

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