Magic Mike XXL

---

Yo, let's go.

Yep.

Hey

la la

la la

Yeah, building a house so it

can fall at the first brick

If the cement don't stick

But I've been told that it

only gets harder from there

Mm, I said now that I'm young,

I just do what I do

I don't second-guess

too much

Shed my ties,

and I'm not that wise

I'm not a grown-up...

We have got to get

a retail space, man.

I'm so over

these contractors

Nickel and Diming

our margins all day.

Yeah.

I hear you, man.

Watch the mirror.

That's it.

Come on, man.

Hey, pal, it's Tarzan.

Found your number on Google.

Hope it's the right one.

Look, I know it's been a while,

but since we're coming up

through Tampa,

I figured you'd want to know.

I got some real bad news

about Dallas.

He's gone, bro.

Can I help you?

Hi.

I'm here for the wake.

There's no wake here.

All aboard!

Okay. Sorry.

I think I actually hear it.

I... I... I... I...

I... I... I...

Come on, baby!

Whoo!

Holy sh*t. What the f***

are you doing here?

Your towel. Your towel.

Your towel.

Oh. Yeah. Just go with it, baby.

Hey, fellas!

Catch and release!

No!

No, no, no!

Millions of people

living as foes

Nice entrance.

Hey, what's with

this f***ing suit, bro?

Well, I don't know.

Somebody told me

this was a wake.

A wake?

Yeah. Dallas.

He's not dead?

You told

him he was dead?

We were gonna invite you,

but we got...

But we had a f***ing couple

of drinks, and we were like,

"he's got the girl

and the job,

and he's not gonna come unless

we really get his attention."

Okay, if he's not dead,

then where is he?

He f***ing bailed on us, man.

He took the kid.

Started a new show overseas.

Wow.

Where?

Macaw.

Macau.

F***ing China.

Some D-Bag investor offered

Dallas a whole bunch of money...

Don't say his name, man.

Don't give it that power.

I can say his name.

He's not f***ing Voldemort.

F***in' first time

you backflipped off that balcony

in the middle

of the night.

I was thinking about doing

it again and then punked out.

Here she is.

Yeah, liquid acid, man.

That'll take you back

to the original self.

No, f*** that sh*t, man.

I woke up under a car

in the parking lot.

White shadow, meet Mikey.

Hi.

Mikey Lane, white shadow.

Yeah. We've met.

Oh, I think she likes you, Mike.

All right.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah,

she definitely likes you.

Jesus f***.

You look good, Mike.

How's everything going, man?

Things are good, man.

They're really good.

The business is crushing it.

We got so many orders, I don't

even have enough employees.

Uh, I don't know.

We're about to expand

and get a retail spot.

That's nice, man.

Yeah. Dude, I'm just...

I'm just happy to be running

my own show for once.

I feel that one.

How's the old girl?

She's good, man.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah, I mean...

You guys...

You still haven't told me

what the f*** y'all are doing

in Tampa.

Today, you are looking at it,

brother.

Just basking in the glory

of our good fortune.

But tomorrow we start

the pilgrimage to myrtle beach

for the convention.

That's right.

One last f***ing ride, baby.

How's that work

without Dallas?

Well, you see, we, uh...

Tobias is gonna M.C.

All right, all right, all right!

How y'all ladies doing here

tonight?

That's totally gonna work.

Just do it just like that.

We got a couple days

to perfect that.

Uh, look.

The point is we still got

two freak shows,

one who can barely dance.

One... person of color?

I think you mean two.

I mean, you're f***ing Algerian,

bro.

Armenian, a**hole.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Armenia.

One snowy white Ken doll

for all those good little

Christian women.

Present.

I mean, what the f*** more

do you need?

Right?

Seize the day!

Seize the day.

- Am I right?

- Yeah! Yes.

I'm Goddamned if I'm gonna let

my last memory of this business

be getting laid off.

That's right.

If I'm going down,

I'm going down in a... in a...

In a f***in' Tsunami

of dollar bills!

Can I get an "Amen"?

Yes.

Amen, brother!

Make it rain!

Amen!

All right, let's cut this,

then sand it and stain it.

Hey, Mike, any word

on that thing we talked about?

Uh... y... look.

Yes, uh, is... is the answer,

but it just can't be right now.

I mean, we need a couple more

reliable accounts

before I can get a policy

for you.

All right?

Yo, get outta here.

Go have dinner with your family.

I can do this.

Nah, man. Come on.

It's no problem, man.

Come on, it's fine.

Seriously.

Yeah? I got it. I got it.

Go home.

Thanks. Thanks, brother.

You're listening

to the golden age of hip-hop.

Only on spotify.

I'm just a bachelor

I'm looking for a partner

Someone who knows

how to ride

Without even falling off

Got to be compatible

Takes to my limits

Girl, when I break you off

I promise that you won't

want to get off

You're horny

Let's do it

Ride it

My pony

My saddle's waiting

Come and jump on it

You're horny

Let's do it

Ride it

My pony

My saddle's waiting

Come and jump on it

Sittin' here flossin'

Peepin' your steelo

Just once

if I have the chance

The things I will do to you

You and your body

Every single portion

Make sure it's secure.

Pack the pump?

Brought one for you, too.

All right.

That's got the brace.

You got the knee brace in there.

Copy.

Hey, Ken, you got that endless

summer spray tan mix, brother?

You know I do, brother.

First thing I packed.

Y'all got room for

one more on this motherf***er?

What in the hell

are you doing here, man?

What do you think

I'm doing here, man?

You said seize the day.

I ain't missing this sh*t.

You got off work?

C.E.O. Of my own company.

I take vacations

when I want them.

Wait.

Your girl gave you a hall pass?

I don't need a hall pass,

I just somebody to tell me

that this isn't a terrible idea.

Oh, this is a horrible idea.

But you can't take it back now.

So get the f***

on the Van.

Let's go.

Yeah!

This is like when Justin

came back to backstreet.

You f***ing kidding me?

Justin was in nsync.

Kevin Richardson came back

to Backstreet in 2012.

Get your Orlando history

straight.

I'm not from Orlando.

I don't give a sh*t.

Well, you know who does give

a sh*t?

People who actually have

musical taste.

Backstreet was

the only legitimate boy band

that ever came out of Florida,

period.

And that conversation

just happened.

Welcome back, Mike!

Welcome back, brother.

Oh, my, oh, tell me why

Ain't this something

that money can't buy?

Oh, money

Money

Money

Money

Money

Money

That money can't...

Hey, Mikey, what do you

think of the truck, bro?

This thing's f***ing crazy.

Right?

Hey, so, I got my, uh,

my buddy Martn.

He hooked me up with his uncle's

old roach coach.

And then I got Tarzan

back there

to paint it up

all sick Picasso style.

Yeah, I mean, I'm mostly

an oil-on-canvas guy,

but I did the best I could.

What exactly are y'all doing

out of it, though?

I'm making artisanal

probiotic Froyo.

I serve it

out of this side.

Tobias spins

out of the other.

The whole thing's like

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes