Maid Page #5

---

and the Minister.

I don't buy it, Sophon.

I saw it with my own eyes.

I downloaded the information myself.

Bullshit!

Bullshit!

Bullshit!

Liar!

Enough!

There is no information!

There never was!

I just used this idiot girl to put all

that information into your computer.

I've done nothing to you.

But you screwed my wife anyway!

You ran in the concession auction

against my wife's company.

You shouldn't have

messed with a man...

...who would kill for his wife.

You lies to me.

So there was no casino

scam after all.

There was never a casino

cover-up in the first place.

I made it all up.

These two fools are just...

...dumb and dumber!

You put me in this position...

I'm sick of your bullshit!

Willy, kill him!

You've been sleeping

with the enemy all along!

How about these b*tches?

I guess they were killed by

Sophon and Chaisit...

...for being my spies.

You... you dirty bastard!

No need for name-calling.

I'm just making the world

a better place.

They didn't deserve to die.

But if it weren't for them...

...my wife would have been fine.

Look what you did to me!

You b*tch!

You shouldn't have even

been here in the first place.

Freeze!

Hold your fire!

He's my double agent!

The 4 maids have left, sir.

Follow them!

Why do I always end up

in the smelly spot?

Freeze!

Freeze!

Put your hands up!

Handy Drive?

Give me the information.

Don't worry, Madam.

He is out of harm's way now.

You can't go in the ambulance.

Madam, calm down.

He is going to be fine.

Handy drive

Where is the handy drive?

Bring it to me now!

Hurry up!

You want to die young?

Die!

No...

Why did you shoot her?

I just wanted to scare them off.

Why did you take the bullet for me?

You fat cow!

Stay with me, fatso!

I didn't save your life!

I was trying to dodge the bullet.

And you blocked my way.

It hurts.

The bullet... in your ass.

The bullet couldn't penetrate

those layers of fat!

Otherwise you'd be in hell by now.

Handy drive

Who has the handy drive?

Hand it over now!

He's the villain!

He's gone way over the line!

Everybody is going crazy!

Tape up their mouths.

Come on... get up!

Why did you shoot my father?

You b*tch!

Let's go!

Shut up, you old witch!

Help! Help!

Stay there!

Help! Help!

Help my daughter, please!

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

F***! Who blew up my car?

Prasert, get in now!

Go!

Waew!

Big Jim!

I think we may have to go overseas

for a while, Khwan.

I'm not going anywhere.

What do you mean?

I have to be at my husband's funeral.

He will die on duty.

I thought you could take care

of Sophon for me.

And we would live happily ever after.

But you cheated on me.

You don't know the difference

between diamonds and rust.

You screwed her.

You should know that women

hate as violently as they love.

And you, Waew.

You shouldn't have

stepped into my house.

You old bag! Cold-blooded hag!

You saggy, dried up b*tch!

You can even kill your own husband.

Watch your mouth!

I'm going to tell you

something before you die.

I am a man.

Why did you shoot me?

B*tch!!

Why did you screw my hubby?

Paula.

Waew, I'm here to help, sister!

- Fatso! - Waew

Faster, fatso!

Paula, hold me tight.

I'm scared!

Trust me. I've been doing

this since I was a kid.

Waew, jump now!

Jump to me! I'll catch you!

Weaw, Weaw

One, two, three...

Dear Mother,

Our story is even juicier

than the soaps, Mother.

We were fooled

but everything worked out.

Madam Emma...

She was so grateful to Jim and I...

...for saving her daughter's life.

She helped us out by opening up

a school for maids.

She put us in charge of it.

So our services will be upgraded to

ISO standard or something like that.

We now teach our students to pronounce

English words correctly.

"Madam."

"MAD-DAMN"

"Breakfast."

"BREAK-FAST"

"BREAK-FAST"

"Download."

"DOWN-ROAD"

"Secret."

"TOP-SEA-CRET"

"TOP-SEA-CRET"

"A basket."

"BAS-KET"

"A Bowl."

"BOWL"

"A toilet brush."

"BRUSH"

"A Broom"

"BROOM"

"A plunger."

"PLUNGER"

We also hold classes on how to kick our

employers' balls... if they molest us.

/3

Go!

One.

We have a class on

how to get into elevators.

Remember.

You should try to get in first.

Let's try.

How was it?

Are you all right?

I've been in your place before.

Just like this!

But most importantly...

...we teach them how to get secrets

out of their male employers...

...in order to make money.

What?

Your mistress's phone number, sir.

For a phone number.

How much?

1,500 Baht.

And for a woman's thong.

How much?

1,900 Baht

You can make a hundred more

if it's been used.

But if you find money...

Just keep it.

I will send you some money, Mother.

I miss you and Father very much.

P.S. don't worry about Jim.

On many occasions... she still practices

her oral skills with Black Jim.

Hey, Fatso!

Can't you move

your fat ass any faster?

No, I can't.

You know, it's so dark in here!

How can it not be dark?

You've blocked out all the light!

Black Jim, can't you open

your mouth a bit wider?

I want to see your teeth.

Otherwise I'll start thinking

that I'm talking to myself.

Even if I did bare my teeth...

...you still wouldn't be

able to see them...

...on account of all the fat

around your eyes!

It's not my fat.

Don't you know? There's a big black

mule blocking my vision!

And how many black mules

would it take...

...to weigh the same as you?

Anyway... western men prefer

dark-skinned girls, you know?

Right, that's it! You're dead!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes