Malice in Lalaland

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Oh no, Malice.

Malice, stop.

Malice.

Malice.

Malice.

There you are.

Hard way or the easy way.

Malice.

Malice.

Yes.

Doctor Queenie.

We have a situation.

Oh really?

One of our patients escaped.

Malice.

You incompetent moron.

I locked her door.

I don't know what happened.

Find her.

I do everything for you.

Get out!

Oh no.

Not without me.

Hey, wait for me.

Rabbit.

Where are you rabbit?

Are you in there?

Rabbit?

Is this your home?

Weird.

What are you anyway?

Is this real or is it a costume?

At least I'm not walking

around bare-assed anymore.

There you are.

Where are you Malice?

Could you be... here?

My clothes.

Don't move a**hole.

- Is this a gun?

It's a really big one.

Are you trying to break in?

That is not necessary.

I need information.

I'm looking for a girl.

You better get off my property.

I'm gone already.

You have five seconds

to get out of here.

One.

Two...

- Wait, the car won't start.

I hope to God that car don't start.

- Wait.

Four.

Get the f*** out of here.

Did you see that?

- Baby, what happened?

My pack is bigger than his.

You showed that son of a jackal.

- Yes, I did.

The way you stuck out

that gun at him.

That made me so horny.

Hey, Rabbit.

I want it.

Hey, stop that.

Yes?

It's me.

- Tell me you have her.

Well, almost.

I am on her tail, Queenie.

It's doctor Queenie to you.

Doctor, please.

Listen.

I will really hurt you

if you don't find the girl.

But Queenie, I mean doctor Queenie.

You can't be serious.

- Oh, but I am.

She escaped, because you're

too busy jerking off.

Get her back and don't call

for no good reason.

Quid pro quo.

- What?

I do something for you,

you do something for me.

What do you mean?

- I want to take pictures of you.

What kind of pictures

do you want?

Let me guess.

- It's not what you think.

I'm an artistic photographer.

- Yeah right.

Come on, do I look

like a pervert to you?

We'll see.

- Awesome.

What's your name, sweetie?

- Malice. And you?

I'm Chester Catz, with a "z".

What where you doing

in the desert on your own?

Some crazy guy was chasing me.

- Some crazy guy?

Sh*t, dat is hem.

Dat is Jabbowski.

The guy I was telling about.

Don't stop, go.

Stop the car, sir.

What did that guy want from you?

He's after me and he's crazy.

That's for damn sure.

Where are you going?

- Curiosity killed the cat.

Can I get one of your

nicest rooms please?

That would be a hundred bucks.

Here you go. Thank you.

So, here it is.

What do you want me to do now?

- Wait a minute.

I got some stuff in here.

You'll look great in that.

Don't you think?

- No.

Come on.

You'll look hot in that.

Come on.

Two seconds.

I am not wearing that.

No, it's for me.

You're kidding.

How can you see anything?

- I got cat eyes.

Somebody had a weird childhood.

- Whatever.

Let's start.

Want to come to

the Matt Hadder party?

Ok, cool.

What kind of party is it?

You'll find out.

I just gotta see my friend.

It's gonna be fun.

- Sure.

Kater.

What's up buddy?

I'm good mate.

Listen, I need to come around.

Cool. See you in a bit.

Cats, caterpillars...

What's next? Monkeys?

What the f***?

What happened?

What's going on?

Sh*t.

Is he dead?

Hey.

Are you awake?

That's it girls, come on.

Yeah, shake it. Nice.

Shake those titties.

That's how you do it.

Kater.

Catz, my long lost buddy,

how are you?

Sit. Look what the cat dragged in.

What a pretty kitty.

Kater, this is Malice.

- Sit here so I can look at you.

Hi there.

See those girls?

They're auditioning for me.

What do you think?

I like them titties.

I like very much.

Malice, do you want to join them?

- No thanks.

You don't like girls?

- I do, but not now.

A pity.

It would be a great show.

You know what?

If I had titts...

I would squeeze them

all day long.

I would suck and I'd lick the

nipples and make myself...

all horny and everything.

I swear, I would...

Do you think I'm strange?

- Everybody has his thing, Kater.

What's yours? P*ssy or dick?

As long as it's hard or wet.

- Sweet. You're my kinda girl.

Can I please see your titts?

- What? No.

Keep your eyes on the girls.

Incoming, Catz.

Thanks man.

As for you...

Don't worry.

It's not gonna kill you.

It's not gonna hurt you.

Just take a little bite,

and you're gonna feel real great.

And now?

What's gonna happen?

Don't be so impatient. Just relax.

Sit back and enjoy the great show.

And if you'll excuse me.

This is the way I like it.

Catz?

What's with him?

- He does that all the time.

Malice, let's go.

Nice place.

- Ofcourse, I know. It's mine.

Hey Matt.

It's ladies night, your friend...

she don't need to pay.

How come I never get a free ride.

- Because.

Anyway, I'd love to stay

and chat...

but I gotta go, me so horny.

Where is he going?

The cat's gonna ride

a couple of kitties.

Cute, but...

in need of a haircut.

What did you do that for?

Don't ever criticize

a girl about her hair.

That b*tch is hardcore.

Do you need an enema?

I'm gonna f*** the both of you.

You wanna join?

I'm gonna browse around first.

Enjoy the bunnies.

You're just in time pretty girl.

There was no better time.

- What do you mean?

My girl here likes to watch me.

She loves it when I make out

with another girl.

Why don't you come over here?

I need to talk to you sir.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Do I know you?

- Sir, my name is Jabbowski.

I need to ask you some questions

about someone I'm looking for.

Are you Polish?

Are you kidding me?

Nice titties girls,

keep shaking them.

Lebowski. My long lost friend.

How are you?

You are mess, what happened to you?

What?

- I'm kidding.

Sit down, take a load off.

I prefer to stand.

Have you seen a girl

with an Asian guy?

As a matter of fact I did.

Can you tell me where?

- Well, they're...

not here.

- So, where are they?

You ask me all these

difficult questions.

I am gonna ask you one more time.

Where is Malice?

- Malice, phallus.

Enjoy the show.

Don't you like my girls?

See those titties.

I want to squeeze them...

from now till next Christmas.

That's a weapon.

Is your dick that big?

Girls don't leave.

Come back.

I ask one more time,

where are they?

At a party.

- Where is this party?

At Matt Hadder's.

- Where?

My stage is empty.

What was the question?

Where are they?

- On Purple Street. Leave me alone.

My girls just left,

you know how to get them back?

Or let me see your titties.

Now you've got confidence issues.

Let me get some pictures.

Where is Malice?

- She is in one of the rooms.

Shut up and don't move.

What?

I didn't realize

you had an appointment.

Shut up.

Well, if it isn't my little friend.

Where is she?

- I don't know. What do you want?

Don't tempt me,

I will shoot.

Why don't you take

your big gun, and go f***...

Now look what you made me do.

Holy sh*t, what the f*** was that?

Queenie.

I have a license plate.

I need an address.

Where is Humptee?

- What?

Look there he goes.

What are you doing here?

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