Man in the Chair Page #6

over the wrong rock.

Or the right one.

Are you good with

all the internet stuff, Mick?

Sure... it's a piece of cake.

See you at the production

meeting tomorrow?

No problemo!

CAMERON:
Peace!

[Crickets chirping]

Ah.

FLASH:
Don't you have any place

to be, for Christ's sake?

No, not really.

Home life that great, huh?

[Laughs]

My stepdad is always

on my ass all the time.

All the time?

Well, that's maybe 'cause

you miss your real dad.

Yeah, I miss him.

But Floyd's still a dick.

Yeah, well, he's here, isn't he?

He's with your mom, right?

He brings home

the bacon, right?

My mom works too.

Where's your real dad live?

Out there somewhere.

I don't know.

Here, in L. A?

And you never see him?

It's a big town.

He's out of sight,

out of mind, right?

I saw Mickey today.

You what?

I told you to keep away

from Mickey.

You'll break his goddamn heart!

CAMERON:
Mickey was fine.

He was fine today. I know it.

You don't know sh*t!

No, I... I take that back.

You know just enough sh*t

to be dangerous.

You're a mean drunk.

F***in' A!

Mean when I'm sober,

mean all the time.

That's, that's how I like it.

I like being alone.

All right, well,

don't let me get in the way.

Well, I'll die alone.

Lot of dry eyes at my funeral.

I heard that.

What?

CAMERON:
I heard it!

I'm young, damn it!

CAMERON:
so Mildred is

passing out the packet...

with the script outline on it

and schedule.

And it's a ten-minute

short film.

You shootin' 35 or 16?

Uh, 24p and some 16 film.

MAN:
Which lab?

Well, Flash and I haven't

worked that out yet.

- Money, right?

- Surprise, surprise.

You don't have it yet.

[Chuckles]

Well, Flash and I will get it.

Are you kidding?

Whoa...

[Clattering, woman gasps]

Are you kiddin'?

Oh...

Who the hell in his right mind

is ever gonna give us money...

for a stupid little film

about old people?

Yeah, like

someone gives a rat's ass.

MICKEY:
Don't say that, Flash.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mickey.

Any news

from New Hampshire?

I forgot how close you and

your daughter have become...

over the last few years.

Hey, don't

feel bad about Mickey...

because nobody gives

a good goddamn...

about the rest

of you pathetic jerks either.

Cameron does!

Cameron?

[Laughs loudly]

Yeah.

No. He doesn't give

a hoot and holler.

He only wants to sleaze

his way into film school.

Shut up, Flash.

He's even more screwed up

than we are.

He actually lives

with his family...

and they still

hardly speak to him.

He's just a tax deduction,

an inconvenience, like us.

Next year,

when you turn 18...

stepdaddy's gonna be

number one.

[Claps] Troubled teenager...

out the door,

just like your old man.

- Screw you, Flash.

- Yeah, but don't worry, kid.

You can dump on

your poor mother later...

when she's old and feeble.

You know,

give her the old Chicago ride.

[Mimicking sound of train]

You know, one way,

all the way to the nursing home.

Some stranger

will look after her.

Hey, half-pint, that's right!

Keep walking, son,

keep walking!

We've been betrayed

by people better than you...

even people we've loved.

You know more than anyone

what I'm talking about, Mickey.

Your daughter

dumped you like a dog...

when she said,

"I haven't got time for him."

But she had time

for some drunk back east.

Oh, oh... we're all leaving.

Oh, O.K.

We all got the Chicago ride.

Ah, you're nothing but

a bunch of forgotten souls.

Go on! Get out of here,

you has-beens, never-weres...

freaks, jerks, wankers.

All of you are pissants!

[Clattering]

Nobody gives

a Rottweiler's sh*t about you!

Oh...

[Breathing heavily]

[Sighs] Or me.

Dead people kind

of creep me out.

I can't believe Flash

turned on me like that.

Forget Flash, dude.

He's a senile old bastard.

- GUARD:
Over here!

- MURPHY:
Sh*t!

GUARD:

You guys can't be in here.

Hey, what are

you kids doing? Hey!

[?...]

[Sirens wailing]

? Santa Maria ?

? Why did you have to go? ?

[?...]

[Music fades]

[Loud thud]

Dude, we're gonna make it.

I know, but...

- MAN:
Murphy White?

- Yeah.

You made bail,

you're out of here.

Oh, uh... can my friend

come with me?

No, nobody came for him yet.

He'll be here all night.

Sorry, dude.

Uh, I'll call your mom.

Don't worry about it.

She already knows.

GUARD:
All right,

gotta dress you down.

Put you with the rest

of the guys, Kincaid.

You'll be arraigned on Monday.

Let's go.

[Metal clanks]

[Metal thuds, echoes]

[Door scrapes]

[Slams]

[Clattering]

Rise and shine,

my wannabe felons.

Breakfast in five minutes.

Who's Cameron Kincaid?

CAMERON:
Yeah.

You made bail, you're gone.

I could get you the money.

Forget it.

Don't you want

to finish the movie?

"Finish the movie."

We haven't even started

filming the movie...

and with more bullshit

like you pulled last night...

we never will!

Well, that was my fault.

Yeah, you're totally right.

It was your fault.

It was your bad.

Yeah, I know,

I know it was my b... bad.

It won't happen again.

I won't do it again.

I just got pissed off.

Pissed off about what?

- It's a long story.

- I got all winter.

Look, I gotta eat a shitload

of crow to get you your money.

A guy I haven't talked to for

some 40 years, a guy I hate...

You hate everybody.

But this

one's special vintage.

So why can't we get

the money from somebody else?

We can't, not...

not so quick, anyways.

O.K., Flash, you know

that so many people are in...

on this thing now,

that if you go off again...

it's not just me

you'll be letting down.

You think I don't know that?

Come on.

CAMERON:
O.K.,

when we started this thing...

you made me

make a promise to you.

Now you have to make

a promise to me.

FLASH:
Yeah, yeah, yeah,

I get it, I do, yeah, yeah.

CAMERON:
No more drinking.

No more drinking

till we're wrapped.

The guy that pissed you off

lives here?

Yup.

- What's his name?

- Taylor Moss.

Taylor Moss?

Taylor "Three-Time Academy

Award-Winning Producer" Moss?

FLASH:
That's right.

CAMERON:
Jesus.

What did Taylor Moss do

to piss you off so bad?

- He screwed my wife.

- What?

MOSS' BUTLER ON INTERCOM:

May I help you, sir?

Yeah, we're here

to see Taylor Moss.

BUTLER:

Whom shall I say is calling?

Calling? We're not calling.

We're here, standing...

waiting... on you.

BUTLER:

I do beg your pardon, sir.

Tell him it's Flash Madden.

Now, go get him.

Show some huevos.

Pretentious prick,

act like he got a butler.

[Gate rattles...]

Anyway, this guy Moss

not only screws my wife...

she runs off with him.

What?

Broke my heart

in a million pieces.

So where the hell is he?

I don't believe my eyes.

Well, if it ain't

Pancho "Oy Vey" Gonzales.

Oh, I see those standup

classes really paid off.

Up yours

and happy Hanukkah.

This here is Cameron.

He needs your help.

It's a pleasure to meet you,

Mr. Moss.

Cameron.

CAMERON:
So that's our story.

It's about $5,000 in hard costs.

She died

a couple of years ago.

FLASH:
I heard.

She was the greatest person

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