Man of the Moment Page #6

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- And you?

- A Greek play.

- Again?

- Mister?

- What?

- Now?

- No, no, not now.

Your jolly good health.

'Good evening. This is another edition

of Television Town Topics,

'in which we present interesting people

who are in the news today.'

All our worries are over!

And here is our first guest,

the distinguished diplomat

who one might justly describe as

"the man of the moment".

If you want to see,

there's a little room up there.

Thank you.

Erm... Well, Sir Norman,

would you tell us what you

intend to do about the Tawaki imbroglio?

- Pardon?

- The Tawaki imbroglio.

Oh, er... Oh, well, erm...

I shall turn it over in me mind.

Splendid.

And another thing what I've made up

me mind I'm going to do is, erm...

I'm going to sort out everything

so everyone gets a fair chance,

- like, all round.

- Splendid.

Sir Norman,

I understand that you are engaged.

Oh, yeah.

My fiance's here.

She's up there having a look.

I wonder if we might ask you her name.

Penny!

'Thank you, Sir Norman.'

(Screaming) Help!

Now the mixture's perfectly blended

and the souffl's ready for the oven.

Marvellous.

Now, the oven is at 450 degrees.

- Help me, please! Help!

- My souffl!

- Penny!

- Oh, no!

- Hey!

- Get out of my kitchen!

- Get out of my kitchen!

- Penny! Penny!

Help!

(# French accordion music)

Help! I'm being kidnapped by Brodnians!

(Drum flourish)

- Oh!

- (Laughter)

Hey! Hey!

(Screams) Help! Stop!

- Dad, where's Pat?

- She'll be back soon.

- What's her new boyfriend like?

- Very nice. Reliable type. Unlike you.

No good will come of it. Mark my words.

(Screaming) Help! Help! Help!

- Pat's got one of her headaches again.

- (Screaming)

I want me elevenses.

Help! I'm being kidnapped

by two Brodnians!

- Very nice too, my dear.

- Who is that wretched girl?

(Penny) Help me, please!

Grab this, Penny! Come on! Grab hold!

Yes! Hold on!

Get the police, Penny! Quick!

Next comes Yvonne,

in a coral chiffon evening dress

for dinner and dancing.

It's Percy. In an evening dress...

I mean, a suit,

with a white tie...

and, er, he has trousers...

of course...and tails...

with a white tie

and a waistcoat to match...

Trousers and tails.

And you'll notice that...

All right, Charlie. All right, Joe.

You've had it. Back up.

I think we'll send you to the country

for a long holiday.

Sir, these two ruffians

won't bother you again.

I'm Inspector Fabian of Scotland Yard.

Thank goodness! I've had

a terrible time. We've been running...

- Go away! Get out!

- What are you talking about?

- There they are, Inspector. Arrest them!

- Go away.

It's my duty to arrest you. Anything

you say will be taken down and...

Ain't you going to arrest them?

It's perfectly blended

and the souffl's ready for the oven.

I'll check that the oven's

at the right temperature.

This oven should be at 450 degrees...

Stay out! Stay out!

Cop this lot!

If you try to get hold of me Penny

you'll get more than you bargained for!

No, no, no! Not my souffl!

Clean yourself up

and make the next one.

(# Gentle classical)

That's better.

'The city of Troy is besieged.

The Greeks are at our very gates.'

- 'Brave Hector will save us.'

- (All) Brave Hector will save us.

- (Man on stage) Where is Brave Hector?

- (All) Where is Brave Hector?

Don't be daft!

(Man on stage) Where is Brave Hector?

Don't mess about!

- Oh!

- (All) Enter Grecians.

The Greeks bring us a gift

of a strange wooden horse.

- Brave Hector will save us!

- (All) Brave Hector will save us!

(All shouting)

Catch!

Thank you.

From madam.

Temper.

- Now?

- All right. I'm coming!

Do something!

What? I couldn't care less.

No! No! No!

What do you think you're doing? Get out!

(Whistle)

Look! I'm the producer of this play.

Get out of here at once!

That'll show you, trying to kidnap Penny.

Now you're for the high jump!

My souffl!

Eugh.

You have a duty to perform

for your country.

So make it sound convincing.

I don't want to let the Queen down.

I promised Penny.

- Yes, he did.

- Stop this nonsense.

Welcome to our domain.

I owe you a debt of considerable

gratitude, Honourable Sir Norman.

It's nothing.

I'd like to have a little chat...

Your Majesty, we are here today at the

special instigation of our government

to discuss with you the possibility

and desirability

to grant concessions on Mahoola

solely to our government.

Oh, Jackson, pack it up.

Whereon, if it is agreeable to you,

it is the purpose of my government,

when those rights are assigned,

that we will use the island as a base

for experiments.

If it is agreeable to Your Majesty,

it is further understood that for the

experiments to be conducted properly,

certain precautions will be necessary

to safeguard secrecy.

We will be allowed to patrol

in territorial waters

here before called the Tawakian Sea.

With this in...view, we...

It's gone! It's gone! It's gone!

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