Man on the Flying Trapeze Page #3

When I got the scissors...

Hello. | Who's it for?

It's from your father.

Where is he?

He's in jail. | They've got him locked up.

What's that? | What's the charge again?

For making liquor | without a permit?

Mmm-hmm.

How's that?

$30 or 30 days? And he didn't | have any money with him?

Oh, we must go immediately | to the jail and get him out.

And where do you suppose | we'll get the money from?

Oh, let him stay in jail, | it will teach him a lesson.

My father will not stay | in jail, not for a minute.

I have $30, | and I'll get him out.

This is a pretty kettle | of fish he's gotten us in for.

He's a disgrace.

The little snip. | It's your own fault, my dear.

I always advised you against | marrying a widower with a child.

It was awfully kind of you, | sweetheart, to come down...

Excuse. Pardon me.

It was awfully kind of you to come | down this early hour of the morning

and get me out. | Why didn't they send Claude?

You know how slow Claude is. | Yeah.

So I just grabbed my coat | and came on down.

Didn't your stepmother make any | fuss about giving you the $30?

No, Dad. She didn't make | any fuss. Didn't she?

Oh, she's pretty nice | about some things.

Yes.

And other things | she's not so nice about.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, dear. Good night.

Quite a snooze.

Oh, don't. | I got all I want.

There. Eat them up, lambikins. | They're good for you.

Would you mind | passing me the sugar, please?

Pardon me.

Wonder how the old jailbird | is this morning?

If you're referring | to my father,

I think it's very bad taste | and not a bit funny.

My father's only been | kind to you.

And during the eight years | that you've lived here,

he's never said | one unkind thing about you.

You're throwing that | up to us, are you?

And just because | poor Claude cannot find work.

You needn't throw | that in our face.

I'm not throwing it in your | face or trying to be unkind,

but I can't sit here and | listen to both you and your son

continually belittling | my father.

He's been too good to you.

He's the most trying man | ever put on this earth.

Morning, everybody.

Good morning, Dad. | Good morning, sweetheart.

Morning, dear.

Morning. Morning.

Well, I had quite an experience last | night apprehending those criminals.

Yeah, and it was funny the | way the whole thing turned out.

Yes. Yes, it was.

Yes, it was. | Indeed, it was.

It'll be harder than ever for | poor Claude to secure employment

when they know that his | brother-in-law is an ex-convict.

I don't think I should even look for | work until this whole thing blows over.

Yeah, I think that's right.

He isn't an ex-convict.

He wasn't in the jail | a half hour.

He was convicted of manufacturing | alcoholic beverages without a permit.

He never made illegal liquor. | He bought pure apple cider,

put it in the garden, let it freeze | and then drained the alcohol off.

That's just exactly what happened, | dear. Any more wheat cakes and sausage?

There would have been, if you'd got | to the table when the others got here.

I think it's a shame.

You little rebel, you.

Here, you just have some of | these ham and egg... Ham and...

Oh, enough of your quarrelling. | I'm sick and tired of it.

Oh, here's one of those delightful | fragments by Gertrude Smun.

Would you like to hear it?

Would you like to hear it?

Oh, yes, I would, dear. | Yes, surely I would, surely.

"We have what we have not. "

Have we any cereal?

"What we have not, we have.

"Up is down. " | Any butter?

"Down is... "

Are you listening?

Oh. Yes, dear. | I beg your pardon. Yes.

Are you going to eat | the rest of that sausage...

Yes, I am.

Oh. Well, that's all right.

"Down is out. Everyone | knew me and I was happy. "

Are you listening?

Yes, dear.

"And we were all happy. | Is everybody happy?

"And I bought a big, | red apple.

"Yes, unhappiness is joy. "

Isn't that beautiful?

Isn't that beautiful?

Very beautiful, | dear, very beautiful.

What's it all about?

What you were reading? | Yes.

About a apple?

And the wonderful part of it | is there's no punctuation.

Oh, that's marvelous.

And to think that under | that beautiful blank verse

they print portraits | of those horrible wrestlers.

Oh, Claude's going to see | that wrestling match.

He found a ticket, | a $15 ticket in the first row.

Is your toast warm, Dad?

No, dear, it's cold. | It's all right.

I've been eating cold toast | for eight years now, I like it.

All right, Dad. I'll meet you in | the hall. We'll drive down together.

All right, dear.

Excuse me. Excuse me. | Excuse me. Excuse me, dear.

Don't forget to pay the rent | on the way to the office.

Oh, no, I won't.

Please don't forget.

I won't. I won't. I won't.

Why did you give a start | at the table this morning

when Mrs. Neselrode said Claude had | found a ticket to the wrestling match?

I didn't know | I gave a start, honey.

Come on now, Dad. Fess up.

Didn't you have a ticket | to that wrestling match?

A $15 ticket in the first row?

I...

I did have a ticket, | but I lost it.

Exactly what I thought.

He stole that ticket out of | your pocket. I despise him, Dad.

The lazy, good-for-nothing, | fat, overfed monkey.

He... He isn't too fat.

Dad, I know that you would never | have married again after Mother died

if it wasn't for me.

What are you talking about?

Well, when I was a little girl, I | heard you talking to Mr. Metsinger,

and he was arguing with you.

And you said that you would | never have married again

if it wasn't that you didn't want | to see that Hope had a mother.

Now, listen, honey. I want | you to promise me one thing.

Never mention that again | as long as you live.

I... I must have been drinking.

No, Dad, | you weren't drinking.

All right.

Dad, I know your heart is set | on going to that wrestling match.

Now, you ask the boss for the | afternoon off and go to that match.

No one will ever know, and | you know I won't tell on you.

Satan, get behind me.

Goodbye, sweetheart. | Goodbye, Dad.

I'll see you tonight, honey. | All right.

Have a nice day, beauty.

Hello, Peabody.

What have you in your files | on J. Farnsworth Wallaby?

Send Wolfinger in here | immediately.

Then get the data | out of his files.

The only thing I can find out | is that Wallaby's credit's okay

and he comes from Australia.

Well, that isn't enough. | Now, you find something more.

Why...

Wolfinger keeps his | desk locked.

Well, Wolfinger should keep a complete | record of these people in his files.

I meet so many people, | how am I to remember them all?

I've explained that | to Wolfinger several times,

but he has stubbornly installed | his own jumbled system of filing.

Good morning, ladies. | Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning.

Morning.

Morning, Carlotta.

Good morning, Mr. Wolfinger.

Now, let's see...

Hello?

I want the complete record of | J. Farnsworth Wallaby right away.

All right. Thank you, Mr. Malloy. | I'll be right over. Thank you. Goodbye.

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