Mancation
MANCATION:
# Sweat, baby, sweat, baby,
# Me and you do
the kind of stuff #
# That only prince
would sing about #
# So put your hands
down my pants #
# And i'll bet
you'll feel nuts #
# Yes, I'm siskel,
yes, I'm ebert #
# And you're getting
two thumbs up #
# You've had enough
of two-Hand touch #
# You want it rough,
you're out of bounds #
# I want you smothered,
want you covered #
# Like my waffle house
hash browns #
never reaching apex #
# Just like coca-Cola stock
you are inclined #
# To make me rise
an hour early #
- # Just like daylight savings time #
- # Do it now
# You and me, baby,
ain't nothin' but mammals #
# So let's do it like they do
on the discovery channel... #
Oh, that's what
I'm talking about!
- Shock dew!
- Yes!
Keep 'em coming, sweetheart.
What's up?
You wanna go, grimace? You
feel strong? Let's do this.
- I ain't scared of you.
- Come on, sit down. Relax.
- All right. - Don't think i can
take the big blue ox over there?
- Okay, let's go. We've got shots
to do here. - F*** that guy.
All right. Gentlemen, we
have assembled here tonight
To celebrate vince,
Even though my wedding and marriage
was pretty much not enjoyable
And i try to forget it
as much as i possibly can.
Adam over here obviously will probably
never get married. Is that right, adam?
I would much sooner cut my own
dick off with a rusty pie tin.
- Ah. You're a poet.
All right.
Marriage is
a lot of work
And anytime
that you need any help...
And you know,
i mean help with cyndi...
I am here to round out
the train on her.
- - I'm just messing
with you. Really seriously,
She's a beautiful woman,
an amazing woman.
Now when we had
the rehearsal dinner,
She actually told me that
nothing turns her on more
Than a good old-Fashioned
cleveland steamer.
- Oh, come on.
- That's romantic. That's...
- You're the worst!
- Oh, but no, seriously, really,
You know what?
You're a fine man
- With a very small penis.
- Thank you.
- To vince!
- To vince.
Yeah,
bachelor f***ing party!
Oh, really?
Lovely ladies
and gentlemen,
To welcome
a very special guest
- In our v. I.P. Section this evening.
- That's not good.
- I have nothing to do with that.
- He's getting
- Married in the morning.
Boo!
Come on, come on.
- I know. He's a f***ing moron.
Yeah!
But his friends
have decided
To make sure that this is his
last night of... And i quote...
"Being waist-Deep in poon
Like he's fly-Fishing
for that sh*t. "
- That's me.
- So, mr. Vincent reynolds,
Sit back and enjoy
The lovely sienna.
Yeah yeah yeah!
All right, yeah!
Oh my.
Huh huh?
Whoa.
Hi.
Oh, she's... Hi.
- Sienna, is it?
- Mm-Hmm.
- You're very fit.
- Shut up.
Okay.
Thanks, guys.
Hey hey hey!
- Look at you? Big man on campus.
- How are you?
- Good to see you.
- You too.
- Congratulations, big brother.
- Dude, thank you.
You're cutting it
kinda close.
You realize you're in a
wedding in six hours, right?
Yeah, but my train was late.
It wasn't my fault.
- I'm kidding. - Oh hey, who gets
married on a friday, anyway? Huh?
- All right, get in.
- Okay.
Oh oh, i can't believe you're
actually getting married.
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, uh, nothing.
I just... You know,
- With your career and your schedule.
- Yeah well,
You know, cyndi's
a very business-Savvy woman.
She knows what it takes
to be the best.
- Her father did it.
- Really?
i just got lucky.
Yeah, speaking
of getting lucky,
- Hmm?
- What are you, 12?
- When's the honeymoon gonna be?
- You... You do realize
We've had sex before, right? I mean,
we've lived together for like a year.
Oh. Yeah, i just... Duh.
I know, i jus... Where...
Where's it gonna be?
Nowhere yet. I've got
a big merger on monday,
So we're gonna do a stay-At-Home
honeymoon kind of thing.
Mmm, nice.
Exotic. Ooh.
Hey, that's the ex...
Why are we going this way?
I've got to pick up
the flowers at stein's.
But... Seriously,
rebecca is your florist?
Yeah, why wouldn't she be? She's
a great florist, awesome friend.
Yeah, but,
come on, vince.
I've always seen the way
- Grow up.
- Don't look at me like that.
- You know what I'm saying.
Didn't.
Yes, it did.
It didn't.
Yes, it did.
- No, that's not how it happened.
You're a liar.
You lied.
You said we'll all
go to the party...
- no... in a group
costume, and you never showed.
So i looked like a fool,
because voltron needs
- All the components to make sets.
- But there would've only
Been two of us. There would've
been an arm and a torso.
- Instead of just... You know, just you.
- Instead of just me.
- - You ruined my
halloween. It still haunts me.
Uh, so you wanna see
the bouquet?
The what?
Oh, yeah, of course.
- That's why I'm here. - You got
something going on later today? Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That is beautiful.
Thank you.
Cyndi's gonna love it.
No problem.
- Uh, so listen, I've gotta
get going, but... - Yeah.
...after the reception, a
bunch of us were talking about
Going back to my house, keep
the party going. You should come.
No way. I don't think
i can make it happen.
- Come on, why not?
- Well, if you must know,
for the weekend.
- When did you become a party girl?
- Not quite.
There's a big annual international
flower show i always go to,
And i love to jog on
the beach and there's
A really cute restaurant
right by lucy the elephant.
And the outlets are great
and they have a candle store.
- Right.
- You know, exciting stuff.
Yeah, party girl indeed.
- That's me.
- Okay. Well, umm...
yeah yeah, I'm gonna go home
and get changed in a little bit.
- Great.
- I'm not gonna be wearing this.
Right. Well, i'll...
I'll see you there.
Okay.
Hey, uh,
who are the japanese guys?
They're everything
I've been working for.
Vanderplatt flew them out
a few days before the merger.
In the japanese culture,
there are few higher honors
Than being invited
to the wedding
Of an associate's daughter.
Those gentlemen hold
controlling interest
In the yakitori
alginate concern.
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
They're the pacific's
Leading purchaser
and reseller of seaweed.
You know, few people realize
that seaweed is actually
- A multi-Billion... Okay.
- I really don't care.
She looks gorgeous, man.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
Crap.
Hey, i know it's typically
a best-Man thing,
But vanderplatt was kind of
hoping to do the toast.
I mean, if it's a big deal,
let me know. I can talk to him.
No, it's... It's fine.
Seriously, i mean he's paying
for the whole thing, right?
I didn't plan on anything,
anyway, so no sweat.
Thank you.
I owe you big time.
Didn't plan anything out, huh?
- Nice call on the bow.
- Thank you.
Dad.
Call me that again
and i'll kill you.
Okay.
That went well.
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"Mancation" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mancation_13299>.
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