Mancation Page #2

- Hey, you look gorgeous.

- Thank you.

When i first met vince,

I was taking a casual visit

to the 12th floor

To make my very subtle,

quiet presence known

To my employees.

Those are the accountants

laughing right now.

You know who you are.

Back to vince.

This fresh-Faced young man

Jumps out of a cubicle

that i could only describe

As the most organized cubicle

You have ever seen in your life.

It should be in a museum.

And he thrust

this clammy hand into mine

And he says,

"mr. Vanderplatt,

I fully intend

to be the man

To spearhead the merger

Between us and the

yakitori alginate concern. "

I look at him and i say,

"Young man,

I would love to see that. "

Then about a year ago this young

man comes out to me and says,

"Mr. Vanderplatt, sir,

i would like to ask

For your daughter's hand

in marriage. "

Aww.

So what could i say to him?

I simply reply,

"You touch

my daughter again,

I will skin your ass alive

And burn your house down to

the ground with you in it. "

Well, i didn't keep

my promise, did i?

And here we are...

...and I've never seen

my little daughter

So happy in her life.

So let's all raise a glass

And toast to our newlyweds. Thank you.

Are you ready?

# I wanna rock your little

body tonight, tonight #

# I wanna stomp it till you're

feeling it right, all right #

# I wanna rock your little

body tonight, tonight #

# Tonight

# It's all right

# Give it up tonight...

One,

Two, three!

# Baby, yeah

# This ain't the time

for hesitation #

# I ain't got time

for contemplation #

# This is

the here and now #

# Oh oh, i know you want this,

you need this #

# You try to take yourself

out of the way #

# That you're feeling...

you know what?

Let's make this a little

more interesting, huh?

Sh*t yeah.

Let's get f***ing dangerous

up in here!

Do you have any desire

to watch this at all?

No.

None at all.

I don't even want to

know what you saved me from.

I know. How fitting...

You caught your own bouquet.

- Oh, that was the plan all along.

- Oh.

These roses aren't cheap.

I can probably use them again.

So i distinctly remember

inviting you plus one.

Nah.

No plus anyone for me.

Well, there are few better

places to find someone.

A lot of great guys

in there.

F***ing douche!

- All right, take this, motherf***er!

- Stop!

I stand corrected.

Now, vince, you know

I've always been selective.

There's a particular kind

of guy I'm holding out for.

Okay, all right.

Well, lay it out there.

Let me be your chuck woolery.

Okay.

He's gotta be

funny, smart,

Charming.

So far you've narrowed

it down to not adam.

All right, fine.

Funny, smart,

charming, chivalrous,

Successful, a gentleman

who's never too busy

To catch up

with an old friend.

The kind of guy who kept

his dorm room slathered

In christmas decorations

year-Round

Because, like myself,

he enjoys the comforting smell

Of plastic pine needles.

And the real

hard-To-Find quality

And embarrassingly sketchy past

of a shameful addiction

To japanese anime.

Now that is a little

more specific, rebecca-San.

Usagi-Chan wa kawaii desu.

- You're such a nerd.

- Yeah.

Oh, i almost forgot...

I have something for you.

Oh no, you... Oh.

Not those.

You really

didn't have to.

Open it.

You know, there's a whole

birdcage-Looking thing in there

- You're supposed to put these in.

- Open it.

All right.

Look at that.

My goku costume

is phoned in,

But your sailor moon

is on point.

Holy sh*t.

"The parties of rebecca nicole

linden and vincent kennedy reynolds

Being of sound mind and body,

Do decree that if each party

are not happily married

At the age of 35,

are to wed,

Ensuring that neither individual

die a sad, lonely death. "

I almost forgot about this.

You know, i can...

I can notarize this now,

- Make it good and legal.

- No. Even if you did,

It'd still be null

and void by this point.

You've been keeping this for

all these years, haven't you?

Eh. Seemed like

a good backup plan.

Babe, you're missing

the chicken dance.

Come on, you guys.

All right.

Well, duty calls.

- Yeah.

- Can i trouble you for a chicken dance?

No no no no, i should

really get on my way

Down to the flower show.

I like to beat the crowds.

- Okay. Well, um, we should do lunch

sometime. - Yeah yeah yeah, definitely.

Find you

on facebook, right?

I still do

not have an account.

I think I've got

friendster set up.

Do the kids

use that nowadays?

- No.

- Right.

- Congratulations.

- Thanks.

- Vince?

- Afternoon, mr. Vanderplatt.

What are you doing here?

I was just taking a look at

my initial plan for the merger,

The numbers check out. We don't

have to move ahead as planned.

There are other options.

- Don't waste your time.

- But, sir,

We actually stand

to make more money

Rather than dissolving the

company and liquidating the assets.

Just a few short years,

a couple of key investments...

I personally looked over

that proposal

Two years ago.

No offense...

It's f***ing idiotic.

Think about it. Why the

hell would i put my own money

From my own company,

Which i built myself...

Which does very well, by the

way, thank you very much...

Into a failing company

Just to keep it alive

When i can make a killing

overnight by shutting it down?

I understand that, sir,

and i respect your decision.

But don't you think

we should at least

Let the yakitoris know

our plans for their company?

I'm sure they'd be

very dishonored

If we pulled the rug out

from under them.

They call it honor.

We call it ethics.

I call it bullshit.

This is business,

And i am not hurting

my bottom line

Because some japanese

don't want to merge

'Cause they've had some sand

kicked up their sideways vaginas.

Now i don't wanna talk

about this again, all right?

Go home to my daughter.

For christ sakes, you haven't

been married for, what, 20 hours.

Actually she asked me

to step out for a little while.

- Really?

- Yeah, she and alyssa are taking care

Of some of the thank-Yous for

the wedding gifts and whatnot.

She understands

how important monday is

For you, me,

the company, her.

I admire

your work ethic.

In fact, you remind me a lot

of myself when i was your age.

Sh*t. Did you know that i was

on the floor of the exchange

An hour after

i married cyndi's mom?

Yeah, vince,

You and i... It looks like we're

just cut from the same cloth.

I appreciate that, sir.

That means lot to me.

But you know

the only difference is?

I didn't marry

the boss's daughter.

The very same boss

Who would be

very very very upset

If he thought

his little princess

Was unhappy

in the slightest way.

Yeah, well...

Okay. I think...

i think I'm about done

here for today, so...

- yeah.

- See you on monday, vince.

Sweetums, I'm home!

Oh yeah.

Yeah yeah.

Oh, holy sh*t.

- It's just you.

- Who is it?

- It's just vince.

- Well, keep going.

oh yes.

What the f***?

Look, i don't know

what to tell you, vince.

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