Manhattan Murder Mystery

You promise to watch the game

and not be bored...

...and I'll go to the opera next week.

I already bought earplugs.

With your eyesight

I'm surprised you can see the puck.

Yay. All right!

I can't wait to get into bed.

- There's a Bob Hope movie on television.

- I know.

Do you believe this guy? Killed 12

victims. Dismembered and ate them.

- Really? It's an alternative lifestyle.

- Yeah. I'll say.

- Hold the elevator!

- We're coming.

- Hold the elevator.

- That's all right.

- I see you at the gym sometimes.

- You do?

- We live down the hall.

- I go whenever I have the discipline.

- It's important to put that time in.

- I agree.

Exercising changed my life. Just...

I prefer to atrophy.

I don't like exercise.

- We bought a treadmill last week.

- We had one.

We got rid of it because

it was taking up space.

You have to get on it once in a while.

It's confusing with all those

computerized programs.

- I'm just never going to get that.

- I know.

- Wonderful meeting...

- Well, yeah.

- You never meet your neighbours.

- Isn't it funny?

- Good night.

- Good night.

Such a lovely couple.

- Oh, say... Hello?

- Yeah?

Why don't you come in and have

a drink? We'd love that.

- That'd be fine.

- She makes great Irish coffee.

- Please.

- There's a movie I want to watch.

- Give me a treadmill lesson.

- About the tread...

Listen, if I can figure it out,

then believe me, anybody can.

- I don't know what I'm doing.

- It's easy.

- Let's look. I'm at level five.

- You're that advanced?

I work out a lot.

Look at these diagrams.

That's amazing.

- I can't understand this.

- Let me see.

Yeah, well. See this?

Now, let me show you

a mint 1933 airmail.

Very rare and very beautiful.

Look at that.

This is unique because

it has a flaw in the engraving.

- See if you can see it.

- It's hard for me.

- I'll give you a hint. In the corner.

- That tiny thing?

Yeah. That makes it quite valuable.

I got a commemorative set of issues

that are valuable. Look at the colour.

- These are gonna become...

- We're keeping you up.

- No, this is wonderful.

- I should go.

- What do you do?

- Book publishing. I work at Harper's.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I own an old cinema. Having it redone.

Used to have three.

Business is not what it used to be.

Look at these presidentials.

Even the perforations are intact.

- Where's Carol? I should be going.

- Really?

- Yeah. I mean...

- Coffee's ready.

- I forgot coffee.

- We can get back to this later. Come on.

We never had any children

but it's easy to empathize.

- What college does your son attend?

- Brown.

Nice colour.

Paul never attended college.

He's self-made.

Knowledge is the second most

important thing.

First is health. Then knowledge.

Then money.

- It's amazing how time...

- Do you work?

- Do I?

- Yes.

Well, actually I used to work at an ad

agency, but that was many years ago.

But I've been thinking

of starting a restaurant.

- Really?

- But Larry is trying to talk me out of it.

She's a great cook. Her fennel

omelette in hollandaise sauce...

...will make you snap

into a foetal position and lay in bed.

He loves to tease me.

Actually, he really loves exotic food.

My weakness is dessert.

Cream, butter, anything with fat.

I'll fix a dessert that'll make your eyes

roll. You'll have to exercise for a month.

We're going to Le Cirque

for our anniversary.

- 28 years in November.

- Really?

- What do I buy a woman with everything?

- We already have twin cemetery plots.

I always think a Bentley

is in good taste.

On our 20th, I got her

some lovely handkerchiefs.

- They had my initials on them.

- Very high-class.

I didn't even know her size.

Couldn't you keep

the conversation going longer?

- I was signalling you.

- I was trying to be neighbourly.

Neighbourly? If this guy showed me

his stamps one more time...

My favourite thing is to look

at cancelled postage.

Come on. It was sweet. They're

looking forward to their anniversary.

I'm looking forward to that Bob Hope

movie. I don't know why it's on so late.

- Do you think that will happen to us?

- What?

That we'll become like them. Just another

dull, aging couple with our walks...

We are a dull, aging...

...our TV, our lox and bagels

and our twin cemetery plots?

We should be as lucky.

To be in their shape at their age.

Did you see the dumbbells

this guy lifts?

If I lifted them I'd get a hernia

the size of the San Andreas Fault.

- How often do you think they make love?

- More than we do, in their shape.

I'm sure as much as once a week.

- Larry?

- God, I'm exhausted. What?

Do you still find me attractive?

What kind of question is that?

Of course I do.

Are we turning into a pair

of comfortable old shoes?

Never comfortable.

Don't you worry about that.

- How you doing?

- Fine.

- We're gonna get this one.

- That's nice.

Are we seeing you

at Elaine's Thursday?

No. Thursday's our Wagner opera.

- Ted's coming to Elaine's.

- How is Ted?

- I think he's glad he's divorced.

- He's not. Come on.

He's not doing well at all.

He's not used to it.

He looks like he's glad.

- You gonna browse?

- We're going to a movie.

- We're seeing Double Indemnity.

- Come.

- What do you think?

- It starts in a while.

I'd have the police after her so fast,

it'd mak e her head spin.

They'd put her through the wringer.

The things they would squeeze out.

They haven't got a thing to go on.

Not too much.

Just 26 years experience and this

hunk of concrete in my stomach.

- That movie was great, wasn't it?

- It's one of my favourites.

- They were wonderful.

- Who could we fix Ted up with?

- There must be somebody in your office.

- Ted?

- I thought Ted had a crush on you.

- Me?

- Why are you so stunned?

- I adore him, but he's like a girlfriend.

- Now he's divorced, you know?

- Do I detect a note of jealousy?

- I had to come and call 911.

- What's the trouble?

- Is that the EMS?

- What's going on?

- She had a heart attack.

- Oh, my God.

- She's dead.

- She's dead?

- Dead.

- They're giving Mr. House a sedative.

She was the picture of health.

- I called EMS, but it was too late.

- We just met her last night.

- Awful, just awful.

- What happened?

It was a classic coronary.

She went like that.

- Boy.

- Can we do anything?

You can be good neighbours.

We've calmed him down.

The first time we saw them was

last night. We just met them.

- They invited us in for coffee.

- Such a nice lady.

Sweet person.

- God, okay.

- You look wonderful.

- Oh, hello.

- Hi.

- Hi, Mr. House. So sorry.

- Thank you for those flowers.

- It was nice.

- Sure.

- Lf there's anything we can do...

- Anything.

It's just such a shock.

It was just so sudden.

- She seemed so healthy.

- She had a heart condition.

She did? She never mentioned it.

- Well, she wouldn't have.

- No. Right. Well...

- If there's anything we can do.

- Anything.

If you're lonely, come by. Whatever.

- You owe me a French dessert.

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