Mardi Gras: Spring Break Page #2

What's up with you, Scottie?

You didn't buy anything.

Oh, my God!

Jesus Christ, what is that?

It was my grandmother's.

See, I don't need a suitcase full of plastic.

Just one special necklace

for one special woman.

Gay!

So what's the deal, boys? Next stop, hotel?

No. We're going straight to Bourbon Street.

Are you kidding me?

These guys have been drinking for days.

We got a lot of catching up to do, boys.

Next stop...

Paradise!

Hey, is this Mardi Gras?

I think so!

What time does it start?

I don't really know!

It's a good thing

we got all those beads, Bump.

You don't want used beads. It's classless.

Show your tits!

Sorry, boys.

We've just thrown a show down the street.

- A show?

- I got beads!

Got it, I got it, I got it, I got it!

Damn it!

Oh, my God!

I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

Hey, listen.

I wouldn't be opposed to you earning them.

Hey, come on!

So, how does this work?

You give me these beads, I lift up my shirt,

you stare at my breasts

and what, we call it a day?

Absolutely not.

You lift your shirt, I stare at your breasts,

then I give you the beads and we call it a day.

Wow, was I born yesterday?

Nice try, but no.

Come on, Lame Girl. Quit being so lame.

Listen, d*ckhead.

You think it's normal

for a girl to sacrifice her dignity

for four cents worth of plastic?

Isn't that just a little ridiculous?

If I say yes, do I get to see your tits?

Fellows, huddle up.

All right now,

you brought me down here for a reason

and that's to have a good time.

So I think the best point of attack here is to...

Are you peeing?

You just pissed on my shoe,

for Christ's sake!

Well, I thought that that

was why we were huddling.

Let me get this straight.

So you won't take a sh*t in a public restroom,

but you'll piss in the middle

of a crowded street?

I thought that's why we were huddling.

Bad Scottie! No!

Look, the best course of action is to go

straight down Bourbon Street...

I found her!

Where's Scottie going?

Sh*t on my tits!

That is Carmen Electra.

Hi.

Oh, my God!

Wow, these are really beautiful.

They're real.

So are mine.

You're the one.

Aren't you cute! Thank you.

What the hell just happened?

Did you just ask

Carmen Electra to see her tits?

That was Carmen Electra?

I gave her my necklace!

Your only necklace?

You just blew

your entire load on Carmen Electra?

Yeah!

Relax, buddy. It's gonna be all right.

At least you can say

that you gave

Carmen Electra a pearl necklace, right?

I think that the best thing to do here is to

warm up to these girls

a little bit, to get to know them...

- What the hell are you doing?

- Nothing.

Do you have insurance for this?

B*obs!

I gotta admit,

it's awesome to see a strange girl's breasts.

I'd crawl a mile on broken glass

to suck the dick that f***ed her last.

Shakespeare couldn't have said it better.

That's it.

Snuggle bear?

That's Erica! Code blue!

Scottie, let's go!

I don't understand.

Whoa! Guests only, folks. Need wrist bands.

Okay.

I just don't understand...

- Just keep moving!

- I don't understand!

Mike, you get to see those every night?

Why isn't she picking up her phone,

what the hell?

Hey, good extraction. Clean and effective.

It couldn't have been her, right?

I mean, you know,

lots of people have a similar look.

How could she do this?

With her grandfather barely in the ground.

Right.

There's gotta be a good explanation, right?

I mean, I'm sure there is.

Yes. Erica is a lying whore.

With an amazing rack.

Shut up!

We're gonna get my car, go back to our room,

and find out exactly

what hotel she's staying at.

That's gonna be a problem.

Where the hell is my car?

Damn it! My bush beads were in there!

And your car...

Maybe we're on the wrong street?

No, no, no, no, we definitely parked here.

I distinctly remember that fire hydrant.

Oh, great.

Three more drunk college kids.

Actually, we're not drunk.

We just need to check in. It's under Smith.

Well, I'm not finding anything.

When did you make the reservations?

Just yesterday.

We have been booked solid for six months.

Listen, Barry,

it's spelled S-M-l-T-H.

Nope.

Bump...

Tell me you didn't

drag me down here without a reservation.

Scottie, buddy, I gave you one thing to do.

Please tell me that you didn't screw that up.

No, I swear. It's all right here, okay?

The Chateau Burgundy,

three nights, three people, room 745!

745? That's impossible.

We only have three floors.

- Well...

- Guys...

You must mean 7:
45 p.m.

But feel free to confirm with the maitre d'.

You made a goddamn dinner reservation?

Okay, Mike. Obviously, you're a little upset.

Let me handle this, all right, buddy?

You made a goddamn dinner reservation?

Well, if you want to get technical,

I made three goddamn dinner reservations.

That sucks!

How do you think I feel?

Where am I gonna take a dump?

Where are we gonna sleep?

I'll call my cousins.

"Mailbox full."

All right, look,

let's think about this logically, okay?

We're three kids from strong,

middleclass suburban homes,

obviously we're not gonna

end up sleeping in some random alley.

- Jesus!

- Morning.

Morning, gents! How'd we all sleep?

Where the hell were you?

I was picking up your car

and I got a cup ofjoe.

Want a sip?

It really takes the alley right out of you.

Guys!

I think it's time to go.

What?

I'm not having a good time,

and I'm not wading through

a million people to find Erica.

So let's just

get in my car and go back to school.

Scottie. Buddy, come on, help me out here.

I don't know, this vacation kinda blows.

I see, we have a little setback

and suddenly everybody's

ready to pack it in?

It's shaping up to be

more than just a little setback, Bump.

Look, I will be the first

to admit that yesterday was not ideal.

Carmen Electra

robbed Scottie of a family heirloom,

and Mike, your girlfriend

showed half of Louisiana her breasts.

Her wonderful, glorious breasts.

I'm done.

Mike, I know how you feel!

Because how you feel right now

is how Scottie and I feel every single day.

Well, not every day.

Some days. Mostly on the weekends

when people are hanging out and...

We brought you out here

because we needed you,

and now you need us!

Look, I admit, at the moment things feel

pretty shitty.

But remember how we felt yesterday?

When we saw those breasts?

- You mean, Erica's breasts?

- No!

Before they were Erica's breasts!

When they were just the two most

beautiful mounds

we've ever laid our eyes on.

Okay, can we just stop talking about

my girlfriend's breasts, please?

Your ex-girlfriend.

I'm talking about a feeling, Mike.

A fleeting moment of Zen.

We can get that back!

We just need to work together.

Sure, we can go back to college, finish it out,

graduate in three months

and never know any better than this.

There's that music again.

What if we didn't go back?

What if we vow not to go back

until we made Mardi Gras

our own personal playground?

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