Margot At The Wedding Page #5

- Jesus!

- You're both f***ing morons.

I am so f***ing... I am trying so hard.

You don't give me any credit!

- What is wrong?

- I don't know.

I have the emotional version

of whatever bad feng shui would be.

I don't know. You tell me.

You understand this sh*t.

- Did you drink your teas?

- Yeah, I drank my f***ing teas.

Really, I think when you look back

at this you're going to see

I'm not acting like a crazy person.

That this is the right reaction.

In proportion with what's going on,

this is right.

Let's make love.

- Jim.

- Hey.

How are you?

- Dad!

- Claude!

Hey.

It was a difficult decision,

because Claude has so many friends

in school now.

But it's expensive, and Bronx Science

is a great public school.

I didn't get into Stuyvesant.

- He's not a good test taker.

- I went to Stuy.

- Really?

- Really.

I'd rather stay at Packer,

but it's so expensive.

Josh is a great test taker,

but Claude thinks more abstractly.

- He's more creative. Right?

- I guess so.

I saw the one-armed man,

who really has two arms, at the bodega.

Really?

Did you give him confusing change?

I did. I tripped him up with some nickels

and a Canadian quarter.

You know what I tried the other day?

Sitting down to pee.

Have you done this, Jim?

No.

I haven't.

It was a joke, really.

I was gonna call in Pauline

and say, "Guess what I'm doing here?"

Sorry I didn't get to have

that experience.

I was just thinking, you know,

my dad used to say,

"Why stand when you can sit?"

And this is a really good example

of that.

I mean, it took me a long time to try,

'cause I was embarrassed.

But you guys do it all the time.

I never sit in a public place.

I always squat and hover.

Anyway, I recommend it.

At least to try it.

Jim, I'm sorry about the room.

It's usually Malcolm's storage room.

So, it's kind of makeshift right now.

It's fine.

Margot, open your gift.

I get self-conscious opening presents

in front of people.

- Anyway, this weekend is about Pauline.

- Pooh, Margot. Go on, open it.

Get on with it. Come on.

Those look warm.

I remember last year in Vermont

you said your feet were freezing.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I already have slippers.

That's okay. Two sets are fine, right?

It makes me sad to get

a present I already have.

- Why?

- Makes me feel like you don't know me.

What's wrong with your ear?

I asked you not to come

and you did it anyway, so blithely.

We need time alone to sort this out.

You can't just run away.

Okay, we're here.

I'm giving you this time.

Well...

Now you're putting

too much pressure on me.

What is that?

Keep driving. Jim, Jim. No!

- I'm just seeing.

- No.

Stay right there.

Please help me.

- Please. He got hit by a car.

- Jim.

Jim.

- Careful. He might bite you.

- I got him. I got him.

Hurry, he's dying!

He didn't do anything.

Roger's an innocent.

He's an innocent creature.

- Oh, God.

- Margot.

I can't stand her.

You paid, didn't you?

She didn't have her purse with her.

It wasn't so expensive.

Roger's gonna live.

I don't give a f*** about Roger,

and that makes me feel like sh*t.

You make me feel like sh*t.

- I wouldn't have stopped.

- Of course you would have.

No, I wouldn't have.

- I hate myself when I'm with you.

- Margot, I'm not...

I can't talk to you

when you're this f***ed up.

You're just like Claude in that way.

You make me feel guilty.

Sometimes, I find you so despicable.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

Before you gave me your sweater,

I don't think I realized I was cold.

Take me home and go away.

If it were someone else,

I'd understand it. I'd feel sympathy even.

But since it's me,

I just feel bad and horribly critical.

I haven't been able to tell Claude

what's happening,

and I have to. I'm going to.

How can I be all these people?

How can I be married to Jim

and f*** Dick and want them both,

and then neither of them?

I know. We're at that age where

we're becoming invisible to men.

If a guy wants to f*** us,

that's very tempting.

What are you saying?

I'm saying if you get your sense of self

from being fuckable

and that starts to wane, it's very hard.

I almost had an affair, too.

But you don't have to do it.

You can, I don't know,

get a manicure or something.

You know, I tell people

you're my closest friend.

- I really miss you.

- Me, too.

But I can't help feeling

that you really came to my wedding

'cause I live a mile away

from the guy you're f***ing.

Come on, Pauline,

you make it sound like I'm using you.

Yeah.

You've got a...

- Did I get it?

- I think so.

Pauline, what are you doing

getting married to this guy?

He's not good enough for you.

He's so coarse.

He's like guys we rejected

when we were 16.

You know,

don't make a mistake like this.

I'm sorry. Maybe I have no right to say it.

But you know I'm truthful,

so would you rather I lie?

Who should I be with then?

I don't know.

Someone who's your equal.

You're so smart. You're brilliant.

You're funny.

You're incredibly hilarious.

Paul, you're a great teacher.

You're open to things.

You're so beautiful.

Hey! Hey, you! You pick that up.

I will call the police.

This is our property.

Creeps.

Wizard!

- What happened to your dad?

- He went to Vermont.

He didn't want to come to the wedding?

I don't think he could.

I think he couldn't.

- You want to see me dance?

- Okay.

Wizard.

You're not watching.

- Where you going?

- We have to get home.

- Is that your girlfriend?

- No, she's my cousin.

- You a fruity?

- No.

- You a fruity?

- No.

He's a Vogler.

- Come on. He's just a stupid boy.

- Wait. I have a rock in my shoe.

Come on, Ingrid!

Liar!

Ingrid, get him off me!

You're f***ing gay. You're f***ing gay.

No.

Hangman's ass.

- Don't run so fast.

- He bit me.

- Who bit you?

- A Vogler.

Let me see.

All right. That's it.

I'm calling the police.

Don't! It'll get worse.

Why did you say anything to them?

What are you talking about?

This isn't my fault.

That boy bit me 'cause you couldn't

keep your fat mouth shut.

Claude, you're being a jerk.

You sh*t in your shoes

and then you f*** 'em!

She wrote a story about Lenny and me.

Yeah. It's in here.

I mean, we were talking

almost every day at this point,

and there was no warning.

I mean, maybe a couple of remarks

that she'd used some things of ours.

And then The New Yorker comes,

we have a subscription,

and there's the story.

And it's things we said and did.

Stuff I told her in confidence.

I think it helped end our marriage.

I read it and I thought, "She hates me. "

She doesn't hate you.

You think?

Margot tried to murder me

when we were girls.

She put me on a baking sheet,

sprinkled me with paprika,

and put me in the oven.

Jim was here.

Is Jim still writing?

I told him to go to Vermont without me.

I'd like to see him tell a linear story

for a change.

Jim never wanted to make it easy

for the reader, did he?

The nicest man I ever met,

Rate this script:2.5 / 2 votes