Margot At The Wedding Page #4

Said the man with the mustache

he thinks he's wearing in quotes.

It's meant to be funny.

Are you doing this for her benefit

or for mine?

- What the f***?

- What?

No, there they go. It's okay. I thought

I lost the brakes for a second there.

- Malcolm!

- What?

- Watch it!

- It's fine, Margot!

You're just so incompetent.

Okay. Why don't you f***ing

drive yourselves home?

God.

You should go after her.

Come home with me tonight.

- I've got Claude.

- Come on.

I've been trying to get you

up here all year.

She's pregnant.

- Why are you putting that there?

- I just wanna keep it.

I left a piece of skin

in a movie theater once.

So it could watch movies all its life.

- Are you obsessed with Maisy?

- No.

You're always staring at her tits.

- You have a mustache.

- My mom bleaches it.

- Where are you going?

- You're starting to annoy me.

What are you doing?

- I didn't think you came home.

- Where would I be?

Can't Josh and Dad come

to the wedding?

I've been through this. Go to bed.

Can I sleep in here?

No, honey.

We can put a pillow between us.

Okay. Just for tonight.

When you were a baby,

I wouldn't let anyone else hold you.

I think that may have been a mistake.

Why was it a secret?

Because I didn't want you to get excited

before it was real.

It's not really a baby yet.

In two weeks

we can celebrate together, okay?

Why did you tell Margot?

Because she's my sister and I trust her.

How do you feel about it?

I don't want a sister.

I'm gonna get Wizard.

Margot told Claude something

I expressly told her in confidence.

And he told Ingrid.

I'm stunned that she put me in this

position. It's so f***ing infuriating!

- Well, it's one of those things...

- Don't say anything, okay?

You know what?

Just be there for me silently.

Okay.

Why do I have to be

so careful around her,

but everyone is allowed

to make fun of me?

- I don't think...

- Malcolm, what did I just say?

I just need you to take my side.

I don't need you to make it better.

Ingrid's really upset.

F***! I can't believe

she put me in this position.

I didn't tell you before because

I didn't want you to feel like

you had to marry me.

I found out right before our seminar

that I'm pregnant.

Well? Does that sound good to you?

I'm still digesting Margot telling Claude.

What a f***ing nut job.

Sorry. I think I'm really happy.

Ingrid! Come here, honey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I'm just looking at Pauline's

incense and self-help books.

I don't understand it.

This junk makes her look stupid,

and she's not.

I don't like to think of her this way.

She is such a hypocrite.

Somehow, I'm a kook

for going to therapy,

yet she's got enough drugs here

to medicate an elephant.

- She's always with these losers.

- Malcolm's not a loser.

- Claude, think about it.

- He's cool.

What makes you think he's cool?

I'm more talking about her investment

in things like cults and ashrams.

- She was in a cult?

- Years ago.

She and Lenny also followed some guru

who was a follower of the Muktananda.

He made her drink his bath water.

Who knows what she's doing now.

Margot? Claude?

- Wizard!

- Wizard!

Wizard!

- How long has he been gone?

- I don't know.

Ingrid brought him in last night,

but we couldn't find him this morning.

- Oh, boy.

- Wizard!

Did you tell Claude I'm pregnant?

- I don't know.

- You did.

- Well, I guess I said something.

- You did.

You don't have to tell him everything.

He wants to know.

If I don't tell him, he figures it out.

Mom, where's Wizard?

I don't know, honey.

You didn't let him out

into the road or something

where something could have

happened to him?

Why would you think that's

something I would do? That's awful.

I didn't mean on purpose. I just meant

maybe in case you knew something.

- Sorry. I'm here.

- I didn't see you.

I'm just writing my vows.

Trying to do something appropriate,

but also funny.

Not jokey, more character-based humor.

You having an okay time?

Yeah, besides Wizard getting out.

Yeah. We'll find him.

Or else, I don't know.

- We won't.

- Right.

Or else, he's dead or something.

- It means a lot to Paul that you came.

- Yeah.

That is the same toaster

we had here as kids.

Paul is so weird.

I hear you've heard the news.

Yeah. Congratulations.

Pretty cool. Hard to fully take in.

It's still a little abstract.

I haven't had that thing yet

where you realize

that you're not the most important

person in the world.

I'm anxious for that to happen.

I guess I have to thank you.

I wouldn't know yet if you hadn't arrived.

You're welcome.

Of course I can't help but worry I'll pass

not-so-great genes on to the kid.

I mean, in my family

there's a lot of hand washing, but...

I don't have it, but my brother does.

- Are you working on anything now?

- Besides the thing with Dick?

Oh, right. Yeah.

How about you?

- I'm working on some abstract...

- No one fills the ice cube trays here.

- Sorry, what were you saying?

- No. It's okay.

- No, what were you saying?

- It really... Nothing.

- Okay.

- I was saying I'm working on some

abstractions in acrylic paint,

but it's not...

I'm not getting paid or anything.

I don't know.

I hate that question, "What do you do?"

- You asked me.

- I know, but...

I think we shouldn't mention the tree.

We should let them know there'll be

people and music on Saturday,

and it'll be louder than usual.

Yeah, and they can come over

for a glass of champagne,

but you tell them.

I think they respond to you better.

Well, I am ultimately one of them.

You shouldn't have made me

shave the 'stache.

Yeah, right.

Hey. Ingrid is asking if I was ever gay.

Do you know what that's about?

No.

Hi. I'm Pauline. This is Malcolm.

We met you before.

We're your neighbours.

You gonna cut that tree down?

Well, we grew up with that tree,

and we're getting married

under it on Saturday.

Its roots are growing into our property.

It's rotting. It's killing our plants.

We had the tree doctor out

and he said it was healthy.

- Would it hurt you to say anything?

- What do you want from me?

You're making me do

the whole f***ing thing.

- You brought up the tree.

- He brought up the tree.

I'm sorry. This was better thought

through back at the house.

We were wondering

if you and your wife,

I'm sorry, I forgot her name,

would like to come over for a glass...

You should ask her.

She makes the plans.

I'm gonna go in now.

I feel like you didn't give me a chance

to say what I wanted to say.

- I want to punch that guy in the nose.

- You've never hit anyone.

- I have too!

- Who?

Lots of people. You don't know them.

They're not around

'cause I punched them.

Don't laugh, Pauline. It's not funny.

I'll punch your sister!

The threat is not out there.

It's in our house.

It's sleeping in my studio.

I mean, I wouldn't actually hit her.

But I feel like doing it.

She's such a f***ing idiot.

She's not an idiot.

You might not like her.

She is. She's an idiot! You're an idiot.

Rate this script:2.5 / 2 votes