Martian Child Page #5

Shoes, pencils, retainers.

Um, you know, Dennis

has a really curious mind...

and I think

he just really needs...

You know, if it were only...

If it were only

about the stealing...

but Dennis needs

special attention...

that we're simply

not equipped to offer here.

What do you mean

you're not equipped to offer?

I'm sorry.

About what?

What are you saying?

You're saying

you're throwing him out?

Well, that's really...

That's really cold.

- Mr. Gordon.

- Hi.

Dennis and I had

a nice, long chat.

Good. How'd that go, pal?

I'm an intelligent being.

I completely agree.

Yeah.

Um, why don't you and I chat?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You want to wait here?

What do I do for Dennis?

I mean, to...

Do what you're doing.

Just, you know,

you got to give this some time.

You know, doctor,

I'm really concerned.

I mean, he's not

making any friends...

and he's not relating

to me particularly well...

and he just got expelled

from school for stealing...

and he's

a very isolated little guy.

And when he, uh, you know,

when he's vulnerable...

and scared like that,

I just...

I mean, when he tells me...

he thinks

he's gonna float away.

He probably thinks

he's gonna float away...

because he's very smart...

and he sees that

he's living in a world...

where things

and people do disappear.

I could give him a prescription,

but, honestly, I...

I think that seeing how

another intelligent being...

keeps his feet on the ground...

would be far more therapeutic

for Dennis.

Mr. Gordon,

all parents feel...

like they're the blind

leading the blind.

Sure.

Listen, pal, I got to talk

to you about something.

Um, after Christmas break,

we're gonna start a new school.

And I want to see

how you feel about it...

because that can be kinda scary,

startin' a new school...

and, you know, your teacher

thinks it's a good idea...

and... and... and so do I.

And, um...

Uh...

It's good

to measure things, huh?

Anyway, how do you feel

about it?

You okay

to take a fresh start?

Take a fresh run

at a new school?

Would you be up for that?

Hmm?

What are you looking at?

That's where they found me...

on the grass

by the big, round building.

It was raining.

You know what's weird

is that was so long ago...

I would think

you couldn't remember it.

I couldn't, so how could you?

They'll come back

someday to get me.

Like, like summer camp?

You don't believe me.

So Martians

can read minds, too, huh?

Martians can do lots

of things you can't.

Besides changing traffic lights,

what can you do?

We can taste color.

Okay.

You can taste color.

Prove it to me.

Off with the glasses,

close your eyes.

They said this would happen.

Open up.

Open... Don't... You were lookin'.

You were totally lookin'.

Right, open up. Here we go.

What color is it?

Red.

All right,

but that one doesn't count...

because we had obvious

ethical complications.

Open up.

Green.

Very good.

Open up.

Yellow.

Yes, it was.

This one?

Well?

I can't taste it.

It's blue.

I know.

I can't taste blue.

A little too bright?

Shade it back up.

Come, Flomar.

Did you just call Somewhere

"Flomar"?

It's Martian

for "warm, furry friend. "

He picked it.

Oh.

All right.

You want to get

a glass of water for you?

- No.

- # Jingle bells #

- No, thank you.

# Jingle bells #

Where do you...

Where do you want him to sit?

Hey, it doesn't matter.

Anywhere you want.

Be laissez-faire

about it, right?

Okay, does he have turkey...

or should I get

some Lucky Charms?

I don't know.

Ask boy wonder over there.

Okay.

Hey. Hey, Dennis.

Do you want to have

some turkey with us?

I can't eat anything

grown on Saturn's moons.

- Hmm.

- Well, then, I think you're safe here.

That'll be great.

Okay, buddy?

You ever notice how far apart

his eyes are actually set?

No.

Or that his ears are

just a little bit pointy?

Little bit.

David?

All this time

I was thinking...

that I was no good

as a father, right?

Uh-huh.

And that, you know,

I was working the Mars...

as a metaphor angle.

But then I was

thinking to myself...

what if that's not it?

What if he actually

really is imbued, you know...

with some special...

You know,

he could be a little medium.

- David, you're hysterical.

- I know.

See, everybody says,

"Don't be hysterical. "

But I say,

"Why not be hysterical?"

Hysterical is the new calm.

My wife dies, boom...

I go out and I adopt

a kid from Neptune.

Should I just chill,

or should I be hysterical?

You tell me.

I think hysteria

is a way of life.

It's a clothing line

at least.

I could stop writing...

not that I'm writing anyway.

David, I'm...

I'm worrying about you.

Why?

Because I think

what's really going on here...

is you guys

are really struggling.

You think I don't know that?

I know that.

You know, you're still

in a trial period.

I mean...

You can return him like

a defective toaster, right?

Is that what you mean?

L... I guess what I'm trying

to say is that I...

I know you see

a lot of yourself in him...

but, David, I was there.

You were weird,

and you had problems...

but this kid

is in a whole other league.

You know, what is

so amazing about you...

is that you're right.

You're always right...

and you remember

when you're right...

and you never let

anybody else forget it.

I'm gonna just go out

for a minute.

Hey, come on, Dennis.

Let's get out of here.

Gee, this was fun, huh?

A little later...

- David?

- I can make you some Lucky Charms or something.

- David? David, don't.

- That's okay.

- Come on, it's Christmas.

- Well, you know, whatever.

- Of course, it is.

- You know?

Where... Where you going?

David?

Come on.

Hey.

Come on. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean...

Well, "trial period,"

is that a code?

- Okay.

- Some kind of code?

'Cause you said that.

- I know.

- L... You know what?

I, I, I...

Everything's okay.

Everything's cool.

- I was just trying...

- You know, I'm just tired.

I'm just tired.

But it's Christmas, David.

- No. We'll come over tomorrow.

- Just relax.

We'll come over tomorrow, okay?

Dennis!

Was I bad?

No, you weren't bad...

and you got to stop

saying that, all right?

I don't want you

to cut your feet.

And Daddy's...

I'm in here working.

We got to put this camera away

for a little while, okay?

But I haven't finished

my mission.

Well, you have for today.

But I haven't

finished my mission!

Give me my camera back!

I need it!

Hey, you got to calm down.

I have to go to work,

or you can go to your room.

You're gonna send me away,

aren't you?

Dennis,

why would I send you away?

Because you're mad at me

because I broke your stuff.

Dennis, I don't care

about any of that stuff.

This is stuff.

There's nothing you can do...

that would ever change

the way I feel.

Do you understand?

Not gonna ever send you away.

Look, this is just stuff.

Come on, break it

like you mean it.

One more.

Let it go, buddy.

Here's two. Oh, just one.

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