Martian Child Page #4

Yeah, well, I don't

always wake up that way.

And that is what

we so admire about you.

This particular move here

that he's got goin'...

can't be sanitary or safe.

He likes to vacuum.

No, no, no,

he thinks he is the vacuum.

There's a difference, see?

That's so Zen.

It is, kind of, isn't it?

Yeah.

See? More sunshine.

Keep your hips towards me,

though, if you can.

Just move this foot

a little towards me.

No, no, not

that part of your hips.

Just square yourself

up this way.

Right like that, right?

And then hand on the bat...

and, remember,

you're gonna step forward.

When you hit the ball,

you can yell, "Hot coffee!"

Say it.

Hot coffee!

Say, "Hot coffee!"

All right, forget it.

Seven out of ten times

you can fail...

but you're still a star.

A little better than that...

you'll go to the Big Show

for a cup of coffee.

I like this game.

I know. It's good, right?

It's a great game.

So, eye on the ball and swing.

That was a little late.

Watch the ball hit the bat.

Watch. Just have your eyes

go right there.

What is with your pitching?

- Here we go.

- Oh!

That was a little too early.

- But it was so good.

- Yeah.

It was a good form.

Almost, Dennis, that was nice.

All right now,

with fierce determination.

Want to see you,

you know, just groove on it.

You know, get a little attitude.

You know, a little swagger.

You touch the plate.

Come on, you're a lefty.

You're weird, you're eccentric,

nobody understands you.

You don't

even understand yourself.

You know what I'm sayin'? Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what

I'm talkin' about. Yeah.

Now hands back,

give me the eagle eye.

I'm scared.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Oh! Oh!

Hot coffee!

Hot coffee.

Oh! Hot coffee!

Yeah, you drove it

it down the line.

That's a fair ball! Run!

Run! Run, Dennis!

Fair ball! Run!

Drop the bat and run. Run.

Run!

- Dennis, run.

- Go, run! Run!

- Come on!

- Run! Quick!

Come on now.

Oh, thank you, sweetie.

What was that for?

'Cause they're giving medals

to all the wrong guys.

Hello, my name is Jeff.

Hey, buddy.

I'm a friend of your...

David's...

um, and I have

this present for you.

You're his agent.

Yes, I am.

Wow, that's, pfft, very good.

I'm impressed.

Where is, um, David?

Is he inside?

Is he inside?

Is he writing?

Is he writing inside?

Okay, buddy, listen, I'm...

- Hey, Jeff!

- Hey, buddy, how are ya?

Good to see you.

You met Dennis, huh?

Yeah, we've just been

getting to know each other.

If he gets hungry...

Lucky Charms

all night long, right?

Lucky Charms.

Knuckles?

He's not...

It takes a while.

Hi. We're gonna go.

See you, buddy.

Nice to see ya.

God, I'm so proud of you, man...

- Yeah.

- Re-entering your life...

fantastic.

It's not going very well.

Buddy, you know what?

There is a long

and proud tradition...

of asking for help

in the form of a nanny.

- No!

- There's absolutely...

No, there's no shame in that.

I'm not talking about...

I'm not talking about Dennis.

He's fine.

I'm talking about, you know...

the book's not going

particularly well.

What... What's, um...

What's going on

with the book?

Does that mean like...

sagging-in-the-middle

not good or what?

- No.

- Like the ending?

You havin' a hard time

noodling the ending?

Can I help you? Is

there anything I can help...

No, no, it's just that

there's an essential idea...

I haven't come to grips with.

But you know the great thing

about Dennis?

He is a fountain of ideas.

He is challenging all

my assumptions, all of them...

every one of them,

and I am going with it.

I just got to learn

to be a little less rigid.

Or a little more rigid.

Yup, it's great.

I'm so excited...

that you're figuring out

the rigidity...

but, buddy, I am livin'

The Revenge of Dracoban...

on a daily basis...

and the forces of darkness

are closin' in on me, man.

Tina's coming to town.

Yeah, she's havin' a big

black tie party for you...

- and she expects you

- Party?

To ritualistically

hand over to her...

the first draft ever written...

of The Revenge of Dracoban

Part Two, the sequel.

When?

About six weeks from now.

You know, so that's it.

When?

January 28th.

She's doing it January 28th.

What is the significance

of that date?

I don't know.

She's doing a book signing

or something that night.

The book signing at the...

I got to get a sitter!

Buddy, are you losin' your mind?

No.

Because if you are...

I just need

a little bit of lead time.

Don't you think

I deserve that...

- after all these years?

- Don't worry.

You sure you don't want me

to come in with you?

Yes.

Yes, come in?

No. Don't come in.

Don't come in.

You need the umbrella?

Yes.

And the weight belt's

an absolutely essential item?

- # Just let your feelings roll on by #

- Uh-Huh.

Okay. You're gonna have...

- a great first day.

- # Don't wear fear #

# Or nobody will know #

- # You're here #

- Dennis. Dennis. Dennis.

- # Lift your head #

- Listen, just...

# And let your feelings

out instead #

Just be yourself.

# Don't be shy #

That's all

you got to do, okay?

# Just let your feelings

roll on by #

# On by #

- # You know love #

- Dennis, Dennis, Dennis, Dennis.

- # Is better than a song #

- That way.

# Love is where

all of us belong #

# So don't be shy #

# Just let your feelings

roll on by #

Hey, Zack,

you wanna play football?

Hey, retard.

Yeah, we see you.

You little punks.

Sir, is there a problem?

Uh, no, no, no...

not at...

I'm just here to watch.

Yeah, that's a problem.

No, no, no.

This is

a total misunderstanding.

This is not

what it appears to be.

Do you... I'm a new parent.

That... That...

He's my... He's my son...

and it's his first day...

and I was really concerned.

I came to

check on my daughter.

Oh.

That's my baby

right there in the brown.

- Driving the, uh...

- Mm-hmm.

Which one's yours?

Over off on the side there...

hanging upside down.

- Weirdo.

- I know.

Good luck to you, sir.

Yeah.

He says he's counteracting

earth's gravitational pull...

because it impedes

the blood flow to his brains.

That's what the yogis believe.

Yogis don't have to go

to second grade.

Hey, there's no harm

in being a little eccentric.

This I know.

So, he thinks

he's from Mars...

and you write about Mars,

that's great.

A little Martian chose you

to teach him about being human.

Come on. He came to earth

to document our existence.

Listen, when I was 11 years old,

I saw The Sound of Music...

and from that moment on,

I was convinced...

I was the lost

von Trapp sister.

You?

Yeah, but did you go

to school in lederhosen?

Yes, I did.

That's a good look for you.

- He's a sweet little boy...

- Yeah.

But, uh,

he's not like the others.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

The, uh, social worker says...

he has

above average intelligence...

but, you know, I guess...

it just takes time

for him to adjust.

He steals

from the other children.

Steals?

We find things in his cubby:

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