Martian Child Page #3

I don't know,

more of a guideline...

more than a rule,

that we don't...

um, wear

the sunglasses indoors...

just for

navigational purposes.

I mean, this is

a grilled cheese sandwich.

Uh, I made you

a grilled cheese sandwich...

'cause I love

grilled cheese sandwiches.

I think that they're,

you know, an American classic.

I used to eat these a lot

when I was a kid.

I loved 'em.

I eat Lucky Charms.

Yeah, sure, for breakfast,

you can have Lucky Charms...

or maybe some granola or yogurt,

any kind of cereal.

That sounds great.

So, anyway, bon apptit.

Try that.

I eat Lucky Charms.

Oh, here we go.

Look at that.

All right, let's get more...

because, you know,

you never know.

We gotta stock up.

Never know if there's

gonna be the avian bird flu...

or bubonic plague...

or any other sort of pandemic

is gonna come along...

and really wreck your day.

Want to make sure

you have the right supplies.

This stuff has...

This stuff has gotta have...

a shelf life

of about 33,000 years.

If anything happened...

the, um, apocalypse,

the four horsemen show up...

this stuff is still

magically delicious.

We're Lucky Charms guys.

Mary?

Dennis, are you okay?

What are you doin'?

Watching you.

Oh!

It's a little late for that.

Dennis?

Dennis, what are you doin'?

Come on, let's...

Let's put the camera away.

Dennis, please.

Let's put the camera away.

Come on now.

Beware!

I almost Disney-grated you.

You almost disintegrated me?

Why would you want to do that?

Hey, it's the, um... ahem.

It's the middle

of the night, chief.

What are you doin'

with all these pictures?

And what are you doin' up?

Learning.

Learning? Learning what?

How to be a human

and part of a family.

I think you speak

for a lot of us there.

Um...

That's very good.

That's very realistic.

Um, maybe we ought to

pick this up in the morning...

over a bowl of Lucky Charms,

what do you say?

Maybe we should go to bed now.

Yeah, yeah, I saw that.

That's a very good expression.

Yeah?

Yes, Mr. Gordon.

Hi, Mr. Lefkowitz...

- from Children's Services.

- Wh-What? Who?

This is Mr. Lefkowitz

from Children's Services.

Oh, hi. Hello, sir.

How are you?

Well, good.

More to the point, how are you?

Couldn't be better.

Couldn't be better.

Good. How's Dennis?

Is there anything

we should talk about?

Mr. Gordon?

Hello, Mr. Gordon.

Uh, yeah. I'm here.

Yeah, hi. I was asking if... if...

Do you have any

concerns about Dennis...

that you'd like to talk about?

No, no.

Everything's going great.

Couldn't be better, sir.

Hmm...

I think it's time to get

you out of the house.

Listen, imagination

is a rare commodity.

Dennis has the soul

of an artist.

He could grow up

to be, you know...

become a prodigy like...

You saw Amadeus.

He could be a little Mozart

in waiting for all you know.

Mom, he's being gross.

- Come on.

- Guys, let it go, okay?

Remember?

It all ends up

in the same place, right?

Come on, guys.

I mean, I want to be sensitive,

but he's a mess.

Hey, that's sensitive?

You should hear blunt.

No, but really.

Listen, my point is that

not everybody is born to be...

a go-with-the-flow,

happy little Gap-kid.

Right now, it looks like

he's gonna grow up...

to be Tiny Tim

with a ukulele, all right?

What, are you

breeding geniuses now?

Mozart, by the way, died

in a hovel at 27, drunk and...

Unspecified fever at 35.

Stuff like that.

Sure, we all enjoyed his music,

but did he enjoy himself?

Give me a chance.

You know, David,

as far as I'm concerned...

they're all from Mars.

At least your kid admits it.

See, this is a smart man.

That's the correct answer, man.

- Smart man. Right.

- You married a smart man.

I know.

I agree they're all from Mars.

Strike two!

Two and two the count...

as Bobby Miller gets

ready for the pitch.

As Bobby Miller gets

ready for the pitch.

Here we go.

Strike three!

That was a nice strike-out, huh?

It's called a strike-out.

It's pretty cool, huh?

You want a peanut?

You know what's really cool

about baseball?

You know what I love

about baseball?

Baseball is the only sport...

where you can fail 70 percent

of the time and still be great.

It's about trying hard and

never, ever, ever givin' up.

Just think about it.

If you get a hit

three out of every 10 times...

you're at bat,

you're really good.

If you do

a little bit better than that...

just a little bit

better than that...

maybe 3.2, 3.3 times...

you're great,

and you could be a star.

And you're gonna make it

to the Big Show.

And if you do that

on the Big Show...

you're a superstar.

Superstars don't exist.

Only supernovas or white dwarfs.

I deserve you.

I really do.

You're out.

This guy doesn't look

like much of a hitter.

But we believe, don't we?

Come on, now!

Strike three!

It's not lookin' pretty.

We're down by seven runs.

We're not hittin' a lick.

Come on, batter.

We need a hit.

Right on the ball!

Yeah!

There you go.

Got a single.

Get something started.

I did it.

You did what?

I made a Martian wish.

You made a...

You made a Martian wish?

Yeah.

Martians can wish for stuff.

Like hits?

Whatever.

You know, sometimes

I make earth wishes...

but they don't always work out.

Well, listen, since

you're in the wishing mode...

see this guy comin' up

to the plate?

Wish for a home run.

Go! Go! Go!

That ball is gone!

Want him to win?

Unbelievable. What

an awesome display of power.

You're a prognosticator,

you're a scholar...

and now you're a baseball

fanatic, and I like it.

...all the way back to 1973.

Let's hear it

for those Coal Miners. Now...

Unbelievable game.

This isn't looking pretty.

Do you know we spend

an average of two weeks...

in a lifetime waiting

for traffic lights?

I remember when

all these lights...

were timed, you know,

when they were synchronized?

And you could just find this

little seam in the universe...

and float through.

Wow. Did you see that?

Yup. I just gave you

three minutes of your life back.

Well, thank you.

I'll use them wisely.

Do that again.

Nope.

Why? 'Cause you don't want to

or 'cause you can't?

I only have

so many Martian wishes.

That's fair.

But if you want,

I can give you one.

Who wouldn't want one?

There, I just gave you

a Martian wish.

Don't waste it.

I absolutely won't. I promise.

I'll use it for something

really important.

That was really intense.

You're just a freaky

little dude, man.

Ahem.

Hey, Somewhere.

- This is Harlee.

- Hi.

She's... She's our good friend,

me and Somewhere.

She helped design

this whole garden, so...

Nice frame.

I've heard a lot about you.

You want to say hi?

- No?

- It's okay.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

Isn't he wild?

He's great,

like a little Andy Warhol.

He has the same social skills,

by the way.

You know what I think it is?

What?

He's an old soul.

What does that mean?

Seriously.

It just means

he's figured it out.

You're one relentlessly

sunny individual.

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