Mary and Martha Page #2

because I had a big idea.

I've decided we're going

away for 6 months.

I take a rest from designing,

you quit school,

and we go live in Africa.

Dad joins us when he can,

and together, we have

the biggest adventure

of our lives ever.

Like Swiss family Morgan.

What do you think?

If you guys really want a baby,

I'm cool with that.

Can I say no?

No.

WOMAN:
So you will be

in the Johannesburg area?

MARY:
Yes, although we

may roam a bit.

Well, malaria, but it's

winter over there,

so that shouldn't be a problem.

OK, and, uh, tetanus

and diphtheria?

He's up to date on those.

And it says one more.

Measles, mumps, rubella.

Yep, all up to date.

Great!

Thank you, doctor. Bye.

OK, good-bye.

Good to go.

MAN ON TV:
Such as

leaky faucets or rusty tiles.

Here you go.

More socks.

Apparently it gets

quite cold at night.

I'm not gonna be wearing

socks in Africa,

not with these beautiful feet.

Mom, seriously.

What...

You ready for this?

I am.

My experience,

Mom's usually right.

Yeah, I guess so.

Say, "Cheese!"

Cheese!

Cheese!

Heh heh.

Perfect.

Hurry up.

You'll be late.

I love you both.

Mind how you go, darling.

Love you, son.

Ugh! Heh heh.

Bye!

Bye!

Take care.

Bye!

[PEOPLE ULULATING]

Hi!

Hello, Mrs. Morgan.

Hello.

Hi, Mr. George.

Hi.

I'm Pumalele.

Pumalele?

Yes.

Nice to meet you.

Wow! It's colder

than I thought.

Oh, yeah. It's

almost winter here,

and so it's sometimes cold,

but don't worry, ma'am.

I'm going to be

summer all afternoon.

Would you like some

music as we drive?

Yeah, please.

OK.

School starts now.

What's this?

Your first assignment.

Whatever catches your eye.

George, can you please

take your iPod off?

This is also part

of your education.

You're kidding.

What? No, no.

Chastity Brown.

A very great lady.

You like country and western?

Yeah. It's my favorite

kind of music.

Wow. Like Dolly Parton

and Tim McGraw?

That's a little bit

old-school.

Wait. So we're not

gonna get any

Ladysmith Black Mambazo?

Not in my car.

[CAMERA CLICKS]

One bite?

I've had one bite.

OK. One step

at a time.

Here you go.

Patience, is that right?

Yes, ma'am.

Patience.

Um, do you happen to

have anything,

um, I don't know,

more American in the kitchen?

She makes very good pizza.

No, you do pizza in Africa?

Of course.

Super crispy.

Do you, uh, mind making it two?

Two pizzas. OK.

Thank you.

Come on, a smile,

I know, that's too much to ask,

but a nod would be great.

Pizza a good thing?

Thank you.

Thank you.

MAN:
Ah, Mr. O'Connell!

Uh, Kumi, right?

Yes, welcome.

Thank you.

I-I feel like

the prime minister.

This is amazing.

Yeah.

Do you mind if

I take some photos?

Go for it!

Is that OK?

They're beautiful children.

Um...

Here you go, yeah.

[THUNDER]

Can I?

What's wrong with your room?

OK. Just this once.

[RAIN FALLING]

Ugh. Did you

just let one fly?

Maybe.

Heh heh.

Maybe means yes,

and you didn't say, "Excuse me."

So you must be punished.

[LAUGHING]

Stop!

Pew!

It smells so bad!

MARY:
OK, day one.

Weird.

Um, now I have

a serious curriculum

and a serious timetable...

KIDS:
Hello!

And I thought I brought

a bunch of books...

on Africa,

but I don't know where the hell they are.

Now I did find these inside,

although they're from 1973.

We could just look it

up on the internet.

Yeah, that's a great idea.

OK, so what do we got?

The British Empire,

a bunch of Zulus,

a bastard named Rhodes,

Apartheid,

which is racism at its very worst,

and the incredible

Nelson Mandela.

Wears pretty strange shirts.

Yeah.

His moral sense is impeccable,

but his clothing sense...

Sucks.

Yeah. It sucks.

BEN:
So now we come

to the final vote, OK?

Greatest African of all time.

All those supporting

Nelson Mandela,

defeater of Apartheid,

raise your hand.

Just... just Paul?

Ah. Right. OK.

And all those

for Didier Drogba,

ill-tempered striker

for some team in China

and the Ivory Coast?

All of you.

Do... do you know what...

do you know what, though?

It's almost equal,

and as luck would have it,

I have the casting vote,

so I vote for Nelson Mandela.

So Nelson Mandela it is...

No!

The greatest

African of all time

in this classroom today.

Yes, he does.

Wait, wait.

[CHANTING, "DIDIER DROGBA!"]

Nelson Mandela. No?

[DEEP VOICE] 10.

One day when I was

about your age,

very early in the morning,

my father wakes me up,

and he tells me,

"We're going for a ride,"

and after ten hours

stops at a village

and turns to me and says,

"Son, today you

become a man."

So we went into a corral,

you know, where

they keep the cows.

I was snipped down there, brah.

Covered head to toe in clay,

wrapped in a blanket,

and put in a hut

with other initiates

for one month.

Yeah.

I left the boy I was behind,

the day my father picked me up,

and I realized since then

that actually becoming a man

is a lifelong journey.

BEN:
Keep going,

keep hustling.

That's it. Tackle. Ohh!

Oh! Great play!

Pass, pass!

Ehhh!

Pass the ball!

Paul's got the ball!

He's got it, he's got it!

Here you go.

Who's gonna...

No, Ben! No, no, no!

This is rugby,

this is not football!

Get it! Ohh!

No! I don't believe it!

Ohh! Ohh! Help,

Micaela, help!

No! You cheat

you get punished!

Go! Whoo!

[CHEERING]

[SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

We have a big day tomorrow.

Because it goes

all the way from dawn

right through to sunset.

[SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Hey, Mr. Ben.

Are you and Mrs. Micaela

going to do putla-putla?

Ha ha ha!

You're in big trouble.

[KIDS LAUGHING]

So what's the most

dangerous animal in Africa?

Got to it be a lion.

No, no.

Hippo, man, hippo!

Yeah. It's the hippo.

What about humans?

They got to be pretty

high on the list, right?

OK, number one, human.

Number two, hippo.

Number 3, black mamba snake.

[SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Let's go find the snake!

Let's go!

Yay!

Let's run again.

Let's run!

Let's run again!

[SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

OK, dinner.

Can we just finish?

I beg your pardon.

Did you just say,

"Can I just finish?"

You want to extend the class?

Maybe.

Yes! Ha ha ha!

Yay!

GEORGE:
So, Mom.

Yes?

Where are we going?

We are going out

there on a fieldtrip.

One schoolroom, not enough.

A whole continent...

that's more like it!

Yes. Today we go out

into the great unknown,

accompanied by our

fearless guide...

Hey.

And of course inevitably...

Country and western, bub.

You're lying to me.

There's not a thing out there.

Are you sure, my man?

Look properly, look there.

Wow!

Oh, my gosh!

They're tall.

Heh heh heh!

[SPEAK FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Take care of your

mother, Mr. George!

No scuba diving

with the sharks.

OK! We'll miss you!

Oh, and Mrs. Morgan!

Yes, Pumi?

No one speaks English

there in Mozambique, OK?

Great.

The sun feels good, huh?

Yeah.

Glass in the window

is so last year.

In fact, there will be

an extra charge

because of the additional

ventilation afforded

by the no window scenario.

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