Mastizaade

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"Mastizaade" (King of Fun).

"Mastizaade" (King of Fun).

"When a girl cries at night..."

"...her mother says better go to sleep."

"Otherwise the Maztizaade will turn up."

"Chicks from 12 countries are looking for us..."

"...but it's impossible to catch us."

"It's impossible to lay your hands..."

"...on the Mastizaade."

"When it comes to having fun..."

"When it comes to having fun..."

"...we are the cut above the rest."

"We're the kings of fun."

"We're the Singham's of fun."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"We're the kings..."

"We're the Singhams."

"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"O Basanti...shake a leg in front of the dogs."

"O Basanti...shake a leg in front of the dogs."

"We're the kings of fun."

"We're the Singham's of fun."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"I've a bungalow... I've a car."

"And I've mom's old sari to cover you up."

"Wherever we set foot..."

"...girls queue up behind us."

"When it comes to having fun..."

"When it comes to having fun..."

"...we are a cut above the rest."

"We're the kings of fun."

"We're the Singham's of fun."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"We're the kings..."

"We're the Singhams."

"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"Quiet."

"Let the world know, if we make a commitment."

"We listen to no one, even if its Dabbang Bhai."

"Service Available...24/7."

"Once you take it..."

"...we won't give you a chance to complain."

"We don't."

"When it comes to having fun..."

"When it comes to having fun..."

"...we are a cut above the rest."

"We're the kings of fun."

"We're the Singham's of fun."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"We're the kings..."

"We're the Singhams."

"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"We're the kings of fun."

"We're the Singham's of fun."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"We're the kings..."

"We're the Singhams."

"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

Deep! Deep! Deep! Deep!

Hello.

Deep, why are all these girls standing in a line?

I know...they all want you to hit on them, right?

No, silly.

They all want Deep to beep them.

Beep? Meaning?

Let me explain?

You see... I care for our society.

I don't want to be a bad influence on anyone.

That's why I automatically...

...'beep' all the bad words.

For example... if I want to cuss someone.

I say...

You're such a big 'beep'.

Oh...

And you're a bigger 'beep' than him.

Why don't you both 'beep' off!

Viagra...

I mean...etcetera...etcetera.

Who are these two girls?

She's my right hand... and she's my left.

Aren't you my right hand?

Stand there.

You come here.

Don't keep changing places, I get confused.

Hold it.

So I was saying...

She's my right hand...and she's my left.

Sometimes I use my right hand... and sometimes my left.

Sometimes I use both.

Tell me something Beep... I mean Deep.

Back in college... when it came to girls...

...you were a pauper.

So how did you become a Prince now?

Not a prince... but 'Mastizaada' (king of fun).

What's 'Mastizaada'.

The world calls them rascals.

Girls say...give me more.

That's the real 'Mastizaada'.

Deep, even we want to be 'Mastizaada' like you.

Then follow this simple rule.

Always listen to your elders.

Otherwise you will always lose out...

...on the fun that's coming your way.

I see...

It was a stormy night...

...and I was dropping an old lady home.

She politely said to me...

"Son, it's raining quite heavily..."

"...why don't you sleep over tonight."

"In fact, you can sleep in Bunty's room."

And I said "Bunty".

"No Aunty, I'll sleep out here on the sofa."

And I slept on the sofa.

It was dawn soon.

Hello. Good morning.

"Talk to me."

"Yeah."

You? - I am Bunty.

"Hello..."

You...are...Bunty? - Yes.

And you are?

If you're Bunty...

...then I am a 'beep' hole.

A big 'beep' hole.

Talk to me.

Excuse me.

Mastizaadon.

Go and conquer the world.

And whenever you need me...

...you'll find your friend standing here.

At One Night Stand.

Now leave.

Don't just sit there.

Go on.

Beep off."

You dog.

I am Doctor Markholkar.

And I'm an expert in driving out...

...the sex virus that's in all of you.

Yeah!

Sex-addiction is a real problem.

And the patient is always...

...under the grasp of lust.

He always thinks of only one thing.

Sex.

And in order to save all of you...

...from this addiction, I've started this rehab.

Last week...I gave our group members homework...

...to make a report on the dangers, reasons...

...and techniques to counter sex-addiction.

And the first ones to present their reports...

...are Mr. Aditya Chotiya and Mr. Sunny Kele...

...who joined our group few weeks ago.

Wow!

Thank you.

Thank you.

The most defamed fruit in the world is apple.

History has taught us...

...that Adam and Eve were thrown out of Eden...

...because of an apple.

But the truth is... Adam got in trouble...

...because of his Banana, and not the Apple.

Yes, friends.

Banana.

Whenever a man or a woman slips...

...the reason is always a banana.

Yes!

We both follow a simple philosophy in life.

If you want to plant your sapling...

...then find a land that's ready.

Posing as fake sex-addicts and blaming the apple...

...is just an excuse.

Because the national fruit of the world...

...is a bloody banana.

I know...those who take advantage...

...of people's weakness are scoundrels.

But we're not scoundrels.

We're just...

Mastizaade!

"Mastizaade."

"Mastizaade."

"We're the kings..."

"We're the Singhams."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"We're the kings..."

"We're the Singhams."

"We're the kings... We're the Singhams."

"Welcome to fun."

"Mastizaade."

"So let me come."

You're too good.

Like that...

Do it. Do it.

That photo on the table, is that your husband?

Huh!

No, sweety.

I see...then it must be your boyfriend.

I don't have a boyfriend.

Oh...that means he's your son.

I must say... you've really maintained yourself.

I don't have a son.

I get it he's your brother.

Big or small?

Sweety, I don't have a brother.

Uncle. - No.

Uncle. - No.

Then he must be your neighbour.

Correct? - Wrong.

Then whose photo is in your room?

And so close to your bed.

Sweety...that's my picture.

I had it taken before my operation.

"Mastizaade."

Oh yeah. - "Mastizaade."

Honey, I am home.

My husband's here.. - Husband.

My husband. - Husband.

Just go. - What do you mean go?

Just go... - What about my clothes?

Why are you running nude?

What the...

Do you always run naked? - Yes.

You see...I love it.

I feel very free.

Do you always run wearing a condom? - Yes...

No! Not always.

Only during the monsoons.

Monsoon?

So that it doesn't get wet.

Raincoat.

Guys, your sex life is so exciting.

It's been ages since I last had sex.

Your parents are to be blamed for it.

They named you She-kar.

What...

Since then... you've always been a shaker.

Give me few tips please.

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