Material Girls Page #8

Girls, you're gonna drive me crazy.

You smell like Satan's armpit.|Go wash those things off! Go!

And you. Come here, young lady!|Where do you think you're going?

Who do you think you are,|calling me and leaving a message?

"Oh, Nezy, well, Tanzie's in jail,|but don't worry."

Don't worry?

- You almost gave me a heart attack!|- I'm sorry!

I didn't know|you were gonna be so worried.

What? Are you crazy?

Who am I, if not your mother?

You're the one always telling us|that we act spoiled all the time

and that we don't appreciate you.

That's what mamas do.

- Don't you understand?|- I'm sorry, Nezy.

I am. I'm sorry.

You know, apart from my own two girls,|you're everything to me.

I know that.

And I would never let you suffer.

- I love you.|- Nezy, we love you, too.

Look at you.

You remind me so much like your father.

He was a very good man.

And he was gonna|bring my girls over here.

He was?

I wanna help you with that.|I wanna finish what he started.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

TANZIE:
Hey!

Could someone come and help me in here?

The tattoo that Butch Brenda gave me|isn't coming off.

She said it was henna!

Rural route 17.

- How ghetto is that?|- This was your idea, Tanz.

Pothole.

Told you we should've gotten the Beamer.

And I told you too expensive.

Someone's been hanging out|with Henry a little too long.

- Look, I went over there for help. For us.|- Yeah. You want him, Avie.

Well, what about you?

You and Rick practically, like,|jump each other every time you see him.

Admit it, Tanz. You think he's hot.

- I'll admit it when you admit it.|- So, you admit it?

- No, I didn't.|- Yes, you did.

Well, then, you did, too.

(WOMAN ANNOUNCING ON RADIO)

Ava, I like Henry a lot more than I like Mic.

The thing I like about Henry is...

I mean, you know,|assuming that he ever talks to me again.

- What?|- He takes me seriously. You know?

Like Daddy did. And I used to resent that.

And I used to think, you know,

all he wants me to do is be good|at everything and take care of you.

But, now I think, wow!|You know, he really believed in me.

Sometimes I wish Dad had've been|a little bit harder on me.

- You do?|- Yeah.

But look at you now, Tanz.

I mean, you're the one that got the clue|that's gonna get us out of this.

And then you're gonna go off to UCLA,|and you are gonna be

the most genius chemistry major|that they've ever had.

Do you mean it? Really?

And, like, you know,|the hottest chemistry major, too!

You know.

(ENGINE BACKFIRING)

(ENGINE BACKFIRING)

(HORSE SNUFFLING)

Margo Thorness?

So, after I had|those awful, awful side effects

with the Everdew Night Cream,

the company offered to pay|for my reconstructive surgery.

- They did?|- Yes, ma'am.

Did you happen to have|any skin problems before?

Oh, no. No, ma'am.

It's funny, then, that I saw you|on the eczema documentary on KLAE.

Oh, that?

Well, see, at the time, I didn't know|it was the Everdew causing the problem.

- So, I went to see a whole lot of doctors.|- I see.

Do you happen to have|any pictures of yourself

- before you had the reactions?|- No. I...

You know, I'm a shy, delicate flower.

I really don't like being photographed.

But you have all these pictures of you.|With all your cats.

Yeah, but...|You know, that's more for my cats.

Really?

Oh, my! I need to get to church!

- On a Wednesday?|- Yes, sugar pie.

I run a Bible study,

so I'm afraid|I'm gonna have to ask y'all to leave.

Now!

Does she think that we're complete idiots?|She was so full of it.

I saw her face, and you know what?|That was not an allergic reaction.

- That is severe eczema scarring.|- Tanz, we're screwed.

- What are you talking about?|- We don't have any time left.

- And we have no proof.|- We paid for those surgeries.

- We can find those records.|- Look, it doesn't even matter.

The vote is on Saturday.|It's over. It's done!

- You're just gonna give up like that?|- Yes!

This is not fair! It's not right!

The world doesn't care, Tanz. Okay?|Would you just grow up?

God.

(ENGINE TURNING OVER)

Bite me! Could this get any worse?

We could die here.

(BANGING ON WINDOW)

You tell your friend Margo|if I catch one of her mangy cats

spraying on my Vee-Dub one more time,|I'm setting the damn cat on fire!

You hear me? On fire!

- Oh, my God!|- Sick! I hate cats!

- Sir! Hey, sir!|- Tanz, wait!

- How long has Margo lived there?|- She grew up here with her mama.

Thank the Lord|she finally got her face fixed.

That Big Dipper mark scared me to death.

It did look like the Big Dipper.|That's what I said! Remember...

Priorities, Tanz.

- Excuse me? When did she get that mark?|- She was born with it.

That is lovely, sir! Just lovely.

- Can we get a jump?|- Sure.

Wait until Tommy hears|about this Margo stuff!

- Screw Tommy.|- What do you mean?

You and I are taking care of ourselves|from now on.

Tommy hasn't done jack.

All he's gonna do|is tell us that we need proof.

You know what? He wants proof? Fine.

You and I are gonna get it.

Red leather, yellow leather.|Red leather, yellow leather.

AVA:
Ned Nakamori?

Well, well, well.|Ava and Tanzie Marchetta in the flesh.

- What can I do you for?|- Well, have we got a scoop for you.

- What can I do you for?|- Well, have we got a scoop for you.

Wait, let me guess. It was a hoax, right?

Darling, I hear that from all my busts.|Everyone's innocent.

Sorry, I'm busy.|We're about to go to national feed.

Are you too busy to hear|about a high-powered CEO

involved in stock fraud?

- You'll get the exclusive.|- Yeah.

All we need is just|this one teenie-tiny little thing.

(WHISPERING)

You're a regular Martha Stewart.|Well, except for the going to jail part.

HENRY:
Are you sure|you know what you're doing?

- I'm sorry. I...|- More than anything in my whole life.

- And my office isn't too embarrassing?|- Absolutely not.

Besides, there's something|really comforting about this place.

I even came close|to petting Clarence Darrow today.

Wow. That's a big step.

And I was wrong about you.|You are cupcake.

Will you guys just kiss already|and get it over with?

(TOMMY CLEARING THROAT)

- Well, hello, hello!|- Hello?

Oh, cheese. Nice touch.

- I understand we're celebrating a merger.|- Great!

- Hi. How are you?|- We'll get together.

- Tommy, this is our attorney Henry.|- Henry. Pleasure.

- How are you?|- And this is Craig.

I love you very much. I'll talk to you later.|Hey, nice to meet you.

- Hi.|- Hi.

Tommy let me come|as his secretary today.

Pam's sick. Isn't that awesome?

Your nose.

- It looks kind of like mine.|- Thanks.

You were my inspiration.

"Buongiorno," chicklets. I'm over the moon.

- This is Nelson, my attorney.|- Fabiella.

- Tanzie.|- I'm delighted you're here.

- Nelson. Tommy Katzenbach.|- Good to see you.

- How are you?|- Hi.

- Cheese?|- Thank you, no.

No, no, no. Bad for the complexion.

- What is this place?|- AVA: This is our lawyer's office.

Bravo on the cost-cutting measure.

I always say, "Never spend|too much money on a lawyer.

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