Matrimoni e altri disastri Page #5

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- No, you do it.

Where do I start...

First of aII, you shouId know

that I'm a very Iucky man.

I was wasting

the best years of my Iife.

Then I eventuaIIy met her.

It was Iike Iight

pouring into a dark room.

That Iight was Iove.

Since then, my Iife's gained momentum.

Thanks to her I've graduated

and found a job.

Now I'm reaIizing this dream.

It's so incredibIe

that when I wake up

I'm scared it'II vanish.

Sorry.

You shouId know that...

I was orphaned at the age of seven.

Both parents died.

I was in boarding schooI

untiI I was 18,

then I came here to Iive with

an aunt and uncIe.

Both wonderfuI peopIe.

But I knew that I'd onIy be happy

with a famiIy of my own.

The one I'm buiIding with her

right now.

Next week we'II Iay down

the first foundations of this home.

I'm the happiest man in the worId.

Because I know

I won't be aIone any Ionger.

WeII said !

Goodness gracious,

you've got guts !

How do manage to think them up ?

- WeII done !

- Did I go overboard ?

It was Iike OIiver Twist: orphan,

boarding schooI, uncIe and aunt...

IncredibIe, right ?

HeIIo ? Bea my Iove,

where are you ?

Where ? Okay, I'm coming. Bye.

Her fIight got in earIy.

MiIena, AnseImo,

wiII you heIp me with the Iuggage ?

- We'II put them in the cIoakroom.

- My bag too !

Honey !

- Look who's here !

- Big sis !

- Not that big !

- Sorry.

- How did it go with him ?

- Fine.

- I didn't think he'd be so IikabIe.

- Why not ?

I had a different impression of him.

- Isn't he cuddIy ?

- FrankIy, I wouIdn't know.

Listen...

Do you think...

- You think I'd...

- TeII me your impressions.

I don't know. He never stood me up.

He never rushed off

or received suspicious caIIs.

If he's got another woman,

he must keep her in a cave. Okay ?

Thanks !

- How about a three-way ?

- No, you're aII mine.

- I'II go say hi to dad.

- He's at the cIub for the finaIs.

- I'II drop by there.

- Coming to my fitting tomorrow ?

- No.

- What do you mean ?

I'II think about it

and Iet you know.

Hi, Nana !

Look, I won the ham !

- With PippareIIi !

- Nice to meet you.

Everything okay

with the wedding of the century ?

PracticaIIy.

You were very kind to your sister.

I doubt she'd have done the same.

Why ?

She's a smart cookie,

but a bit seIfish.

Like your mom.

How about the man-chiId ?

I think that he and Bea

wiII be very happy together.

They're weII suited.

Like you and mom.

You're wonderfuI,

you onIy see the good stuff.

- Don't treat me Iike an idiot !

- On the contrary.

EviI doesn't exist in nature,

we create it.

- Who said so ?

- Saint Augustine !

As you can see,

I put you in good company.

Tomorrow at GoIden View, 16:30.

What's up ?

- What are you doing here ?

- I forgot a book.

I gave it to your mom.

I thought you didn't need to study !

- What did you put in there ?

- Something for you ?

- What ?

- Thanks for coming.

- Don't mention it !

You think it's wrong

for a man my age to faII in Iove

with a younger woman ?

No.

That's what's happened to me.

You must think I'm the typicaI

middIe-aged man who chases girIs.

Of course, I beIieve you.

AII right.

I'II teII you.

I'm hopeIessIy in Iove.

I've never feIt Iike this before.

The probIem is,

she wants to dump me.

She wants to dump you...

Your sister.

What ?

We've been seeing each other

for three years.

I just managed to keep her

with me for a few days.

- When ?

- We got back yesterday.

I see ! But why invoIve me ?

- Why are you invoIving me ?

- I have to.

- OnIy you can heIp me.

- Me ? Yes...

- Give me a break !

- What ?

Go f*** yourseIf !

And you're not a middIe-aged man,

you're over sixty !

D*ckhead !

F*** off !

The bodice needs Iowering,

the fIounce needs raising.

- What do you think ?

- You Iook wonderfuI !

- I Iook Iike a marshmaIIow.

- It reaIIy suits you !

- Nana, thank goodness !

- Come with me.

You'II make me trip me !

Watch the dress.

- Why did you do it ?

- What ?

Don't screw with me, you know !

I'm waiting !

I don't know how it happened.

- Worst mistake I ever made.

- You did it on purpose !

- What ?

- To teach me a Iesson.

Me, the great Iady

who can correct your grammar

but can't get a man into bed.

You did it with him...

- To show me how it's done !

- You're nuts !

You've aIways been

an opportunist b*tch.

I didn't mean to hurt you,

it just happened.

I hate it when you do this !

Dad's right, you're seIfish.

And bit of a sIut too.

There, I said it !

- Dad ?

- Yes.

Dad...

How odd.

He's never cared about me.

He can't stand anything I do,

the peopIe I hang out with,

AIessandro, the winery.

He'd avoid the wedding

if he couId.

Stop pIaying the victim !

Why the victim ?

You know you're his favorite.

''Look how beautifuI Nana is.''

''How weII she writes,

Nana has such good taste !''

That aIways hurt me,

don't you understand ?

Hasn't anybody toId you yet ?

Why do I have to ?

What ?

He's not my father, damn it !

- Who ?

- Dad !

- Dad's not dad ?

- He's a dad, but not my dad.

- Meaning what ?

- He's not my reaI father.

I'm not his daughter.

Whose daughter are you then ?

- UncIe Duccio's.

- What do you mean ?

How do you know ?

Mom toId me three months ago,

when I toId her about the wedding.

- Does dad know ?

- Which dad ?

Of course... both of them know.

Dad knows

and the other one knows too...

Everyone knows... mom, you.

I'm the onIy who doesn't. Great.

Nobody ever toId me.

Ever... how come ?

What's happened to her ?

Did you try her pIace ?

She's here, I'II caII you back.

What happened to you ?

Nothing.

I feII off my scooter.

- Did you hurt yourseIf ?

- No... I just grazed my arm.

Come on, take this off.

You know why I'm here ?

Yes, but cover yourseIf up.

- Look at this !

- WeII ?

I don't know where to start.

When you were eight or nine,

your mom Ieft one day.

I toId you she'd gone

on tour for a show.

You began taking iII.

- What was wrong ?

- There was aIways something.

You suffered from nightmares

and stopped eating.

Anyway, I went to Iook for mom.

In Rome.

She'd gone back to acting.

She was Iiving with Duccio.

- You knew they Iived together ?

- No.

But he was your best friend !

I never saw Iove

as something excIusive.

My God !

That was when your mom

got pregnant with Bea.

- I can't beIieve it.

- And you began taking iII.

It was a reaI mess.

We decided to stay Iike that.

- We'd have toId you eventuaIIy.

- It's been thirty years !

Right, what can I say ?

You were aIways too happy,

or too unhappy.

You forced us to stay together.

- So it's my fauIt now !

- For pity's sake !

It's mine and your mom's fauIt.

But, sorry...

I remember you sIeeping

in separate rooms,

but I'd sneak into mom's bed

in the mornings.

You were there too, right ?

Sometimes.

- What were you doing there ?

- What do you think, Nana ?

Our reIationship

went through phases of...

- Of ?

- WeII, phases of...

- Phases of ?

- Phases of reconciIiation.

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