Mayhem Page #2

you f***ing up a vanda corp case

or something.

Wait, what?

Are you...

I don't work vanda corp.

That's Kara's client.

I know, right?

Oh, no.

Man:

How can I help you?

Derek Cho. Need an access code

to the eighth floor.

Man:
To see whom?

Derek:
Kara Powell,

director of operations,

not effective

for client matters,

but with all things related

to navigating

internal company politics,

she's f***in' Mussolini.

We call her the siren.

Derek:
She's got the boss's ear.

And her songs are sweet poison.

Man:
Mr. Cho.

Mr. Cho.

To see... Kara Powell.

Man:

One moment, please.

Your pass code

is 7-8-5-star-9-5.

Ray:
You expected me to create

a dedicated office mobile app

with servers that run

on hamster wheels.

Ray, stop talking.

If I hear another

whining excuse from you,

I'll make sure

you're back to building

porn-site banner ads by lunch.

Do you understand me?

Ray:
Yes, fine.

The siren:
So stop playing

video games in your troll cave

and get the interoffice apps

updated asap, okay, sweetie?

Okay. Thank you so much.

Bye-bye.

A**hole.

- What I can do for you?

- That's a nice mug.

Where'd you get it?

I told my assistant

to get me one.

And where did she get it?

Meg!

Derek here wants to know

where you got the mug.

From a kitchen downstairs.

Okay. And why did you

choose that one?

Meg:
Because the other ones

were filthy.

Derek:
And why do you think

this one wasn't?

Meg:

Because the maid cleaned it.

Derek:
Incorrect. I cleaned this

mug because this mug is mine.

And what's mine is mine.

And what's yours is yours.

You're getting to a point.

Vanda corp is your client.

That blood's on your hands.

Oh. Oh, so now

you want to share.

Derek:

I can't share what isn't mine.

Vanda corp has filed

more than 100 account cases

through us

in the last two years.

Well, then I hope they have

a good case manager.

You mean managers.

No one can work a client

that big without delegating.

And according to the annual

work distribution sheet...

That hasn't been

updated in years.

one of vanda corp's complaint

cases was assigned...

to you.

File 45a.

I'm being set up.

Wow.

Heads will roll.

This will cost vanda...

give me this.

- This was planted.

- I'll cut you a deal.

- Plead guilty.

- Not guilty.

The corpse was found

inside your office.

You knew exactly

where to find it.

Do you want to

take this upstairs?

Great idea.

Take your file.

The siren:

Want to swipe your key card,

or should I swipe mine?

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

I forgot.

You don't have clearance.

My bad.

Don't you worry, little one.

Daddy will pay

for abandoning you

and leaving you to die

in that cold, dirty dumpster.

No, no.

You died when you drowned

because mommy left you

in the bathtub

while she went shopping

for shoes.

But don't worry.

Daddy will make her pay.

Too bad mommy outranks daddy.

Derek:

Mommy's a backstabbing b*tch.

The siren:

That's why mommy outranks daddy.

- Brenda, what's his mood?

- Brenda:
He's drawing.

Oh, sh*t.

John towers, capital "t" in tsc,

king of the castle,

top of the food chain,

and total f***ing maniac...

you know, your typical

American success story.

Did I mention that he also

dabbles in the fine arts?

Tell me what you see here.

I see that those soldiers'

lives are in danger, sir.

Do you think they'll make it?

No, sir.

The fuse is too short.

It's too late to run.

And what do you think

they should be doing instead?

May I, sir?

Hmm.

So simple and yet so effective.

Can you see it, Derek?

Can you see the solution

to our problem here?

I think you mean her problem

because she was the one that...

give me the file.

This is our bomb.

The fuse is already burning.

So should we run

like cowards and die?

We are brave, sir.

I'm so glad you said that,

because any second now,

vanda corp is gonna

find out about this mess,

and I'm gonna need some scalps.

So, who dropped the ball?

I hate pointing fingers,

but may I suggest

you check the annual

work distribution sheet?

Someone cooked

the f***ing worksheet.

Sir.

Go on.

Have you noticed that whenever

there's a problem like this,

it's almost always

the same soldier involved?

Because down in the trenches,

we have all noticed.

And we wonder if discharging

this problem soldier

might be the solution

to preventing this kind of mess

from ever happening again.

And who would that be?

May I?

Thank you, Derek.

You can leave.

Let's discuss.

Yes, sir.

- I...

- leave.

You got a sec?

Ahhh-ummmm.

Nothing like a little

power meditation.

This one's new.

Declan's walking already?

Wobbling, actually, like you

were last Friday night.

Thanks for the ride, by the way.

Thanks for puking in my car.

That's what friends are for.

So debrief me.

What happened?

Just found someone else's sh*t

swept under my carpet.

What kind of sh*t?

Vanda corp sh*t.

It's a seven-figure mistake.

I didn't even touch the file.

Ah, don't sweat it.

Those clowns working vanda corp

are a bunch of

a serial screw-ups.

Look, I realize you might

not want to divulge...

the siren.

All right. Let's take

a beat to strategize.

Since the promotion,

you could possibly

be in charge of a case that big

but not big enough

to be untouchable.

That's why she chose you.

You're the perfect fall guy.

So before even taking

this upstairs...

you already took this upstairs

and made a mess of things.

F***.

Say I punch a rhino in the face.

Would you call that

brave or stupid?

Brave...

And stupid.

See how bravery and stupidity

can overlap?

Now that you understand that,

let me give her a call

and see if I can't find a way

to cut you a deal.

She already offered me a deal.

I told her to suck it

and that this is war.

War is over, moron.

- Come on in, Kara.

- How so?

Natural selection happened.

Pack your sh*t.

- Boxes are on the second floor.

- You're f***ing kidding me.

Derek, calm down.

You blew him, didn't you?

Like I need to stoop

to that level.

Now... Get the f***

out of my face.

I'm taking this to the nine.

Sure.

Good luck with that.

And I want my mug back.

The nine, the company's

board of directors.

Good morning, everybody.

This is the vanda corp file.

Derek:
No one here goes up

or down without their vote.

Rumor has it that they're

actually cybernetic organisms,

but that hasn't been

officially confirmed yet.

Now, there's

a common misconception

about the death gesture

during gladiatorial combat.

The actual phrase

used in Roman texts

doesn't translate

as thumbs down,

but rather thumbs turned.

Personally, I think

we should hang,

draw and quarter

the little f***er.

But, you know, that's just me.

So let's vote.

Derek:

That's because the Victors

finished off their opponents

with a sword thrust

across the throat.

So it's unanimous.

Call Lester.

Derek:
Enter Lester mcgill,

head of human resources.

No, not her.

That guy.

He takes care

of the firm's layoffs.

He's as cold as his methods are

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