McLintock! Page #8

- But it didn't happen.

Yelling I insulted you and all,

what you need is a good spanking.

Dev! Daddy.

Leave me out of this.

- I think I'll give you what you deserve.

- You wouldn't dare.

Wouldn't I?

You'll think next time

before you have someone shot...

and this kicking and yelling ain't gonna help.

Don't! Daddy, what...

Daddy, help me. Don't.

Devlin Warren, I hate you!

Mommy! Mommy!

G. W., was that a shot?

- Becky, what happened?

- He spanked me.

You spanked my daughter?

Dev.

You mean, you stood there

while that brute beat our daughter?

G. W., what's happened to you

in the last three...

Better part of valor, son.

Isn't it enough that you've always

treated me like a squaw...

without subjecting dear, sweet Becky

to this crude, vulgar...

Katherine, you women are always

raising hell about one thing...

when it's something else

you're really sore about.

Don't you think it's about time

you told me...

what put the burr under your saddle

about me?

I don't intend to stand here

and hold a midnight conversation...

with an intoxicated man.

And I am not intoxicated...

yet.

- Hello, Governor.

- Hello, Governor.

- Chief Puma.

- Yes, Sergeant.

Big McLintock,

we know you'll get us fair judgment.

You gentlemen, follow me.

- Well, Jake?

- G.W.

- Well, G. W., it's been a long time.

- Not long enough, Cuthbert.

- Your husband is a rude man.

- Yes, Cuthbert, I know.

Where do you want the Indians,

Mr. McLintock?

Mr. McLintock is not running this hearing.

- Sergeant, seat those Indians.

- Yes, sir.

Gentlemen, be seated.

You know, their whole tribe here wanted

to come into town.

Proceed, Lieutenant.

This hearing is now in session.

Governor Cuthbert Humphrey presiding.

Good luck, Daddy.

I'm afraid it's a packed court.

Government Edict number 826.

As ordered that the Comanche nation

be transferred...

from their present reservation to Fort Sill...

it is the government's claim

as filed by Indian agent Agard...

that these chiefs after being released

from prison by a kindly government...

did then rouse and incite defiance

among the tribe against said order.

It seems, gentlemen, that although

some of these chiefs speak English...

Chief Puma is quite at home

in our language...

they have chosen Mr. McLintock

to be their spokesman.

I speak for the Comanche,

or rather, I offer this translation.

Proceed, Mr. McLintock.

The Comanches say:

We are an old people, and a proud people.

When the white man first came among us...

we were as many as the grasses

of the prairie.

Now we are few, but we are still proud...

for if a man loses pride in manhood,

he is nothing.

You tell us now

that if we will let you send us away...

to this place called Fort Sill...

you will feed us and care for us.

Let us tell you this:

It is a Comanche law

that no chief ever eats...

unless first he sees

that the pots are full of meat...

in the lodges of the widows and orphans.

It is the Comanche way of life.

This that the white man calls charity

is a fine thing for widows and orphans...

but no warrior can accept it,

for if he does, he is no longer a man...

and when he is no longer a man

he is nothing...

and better off dead.

You say to the Comanche, 'You are widows

and orphans, you are not men. '

And we, the Comanche, say

we would rather be dead.

It will not be a remembered fight

when you kill us...

because we are few now

and have few weapons.

But we will fight

and we will die Comanche.

Thank you, Big McLintock.

Am I to gather the Comanche

defy the government of the United States?

Yes, you may gather that the Comanche

defy the United States government.

- Or at least this commission.

- Gentlemen.

It is the order of this court

that these chiefs be incarcerated...

until such time as the detachment of the

United States Cavalry be made available...

to escort them

and the Comanche nation to Fort Sill.

This court is adjourned.

McLintock.

You are an important chief

amongst these white people.

Sway them.

Have them give us a few guns

to make the fight worthwhile.

Let us have one last remembered fight

for end of Comanche.

I almost wish I could arrange that, Puma.

- Sergeant.

- Yes?

Left guard, carry on.

Gentlemen.

It's sad, these changing times.

It isn't the times that are changing, Mama.

Hi, G.W.

Hello, Lem.

Bunny.

Howdy, McLintock.

Figured you'd be belly-down drunk by now.

I've been doing

some thinking-drinking, Bunny.

Is that box car still on the siding?

- Sure, but...

- But what?

- I don't like it.

- You don't?

You figure them Indians get out of there and

lead the Cavalry on a wild goose chase...

- that Great White Father's gonna get nosey...

- Get nosey and he'll investigate.

And when they find out how that side-

saddle governor's been messing things up...

they'll give those Indians a fair trial.

But that's live ammunition in that boxcar.

You know what'll happen if them Indians

get some guns in their hands?

Somebody's gonna get hurt.

- Is Puma's word good enough for you?

- Well, I don't...

McLintock, you got yourself a partner.

Leave me out of this.

McLintock.

Good night, Bunny.

Good night, Governor.

Where /s the Katy

W/th her I/ght red ha/r?

Sweet as the roses

On the summer a/r

I'll f/nd her somewhere

Wh/le the moon /s h/gh

And tell her that I love her

And I'll love her t/ll I d/e

Katy!

Katy Gilhooly. The master's home.

Katherine Gilhooly McLintock.

Where is the woman of the house?

Mr. McLintock.

There you are.

Mrs. Warren, good evening.

- I waited up for you, Mr. McLintock.

- How nice.

- I want to talk to you about something.

- Delighted.

- Three hundred and nine times straight.

- I beg your pardon?

Three hundred and nine times straight

without a miss. Gotta be a record.

I suppose so. Now, Mr. McLintock,

what I wanted to say...

Two-pound Stetson with a six-inch brim...

53 feet in the air, it's gotta be a record.

I'm sure it is, but the reason I waited up...

Dangnabbit, woman,

can't you hold that glass still?

Of course, sir.

Down the hatch to my world record.

Down the hatch.

Yes, sir.

Now, to the Governor of our territory.

The Governor of the territory, sir?

Now, don't you stick up for him,

Mrs. Warren.

You're a fine woman, Mrs. Warren.

But you'll certainly go down

in my estimation...

if you stick up for Cuthbert H. Humphrey,

Governor of this territory.

- I don't mean to change...

- Down the hatch.

Yes, sir. Down the hatch.

Cuthbert H. Humphrey,

Governor of our territory...

is a cull.

Do you know what a cull is, ma'am?

A cull is a specimen that is so worthless...

that you have to cut him out of the herd.

Now, if all the people in the world

were put in one herd...

Cuthbert is the one

I would throw my rope at.

At whom I would throw my rope at.

Natural-born cull.

- Another touch, ma'am?

- No, sir, no.

- I don't mind if I do.

- Good.

Can't walk on one leg...

I didn't mean to be vulgar ma'am.

Can't walk on one limb.

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