Me, Them and Lara Page #5

you should have stayed home!

Girls, can you come for a moment?

It concerns you all.

I am outraged,

outraged by your transformation!

When I left you in Africa

you were polite girls,

respectful of your traditions.

Now you have no decency,

no restrain, and no underwear!

Call this an upgrade?

Who'll send money back home, you?

Money, money, money!

In Africa, there wasn't much to eat

but you were free, here you're slaves!

You're working as slaves!

What's he saying?

We'll be here all night.

My treat, we'll go for pizza

and settle this once for all.

- Leave us alone!

- Out of the question.

Get lost,

you're making us lose work.

Get lost!

You work on the sidewalk?

Want them all?

Are you an octopus?

Are you running for office?

F*** off!

Sorry.

Go and get pizza on your own!

So...

I waited up for you.

You came home late.

You waited?

Soft or crunchy?

- What?

- The cookies.

I don't eat. Got coffee?

Sure, I've made some,

here you are.

Nice and strong.

- Sugar?

- I take it black.

I got it all wrong.

How was your trip with Dad?

Fine.

Lara, I'm curious...

how did this relationship with...

Sorry, I've got to answer this,

it's important.

What the f*** do you want?

Tell me!

Sure!

They were your little sisters.

You're one hell of a piece of sh*t...

and stop calling me!

If your wife finds out,

she'll kill you!

Why?

Because you're married!

You've always been married,

you ugly sh*t!

What a d*ckhead!

I've got to run now, it's really late.

Do you want me to make

a chicken curry tonight?

No one listens to me. I wonder why.

So what?

What have you discovered?

What's she doing?

She slept, got up, had breakfast,

and went to work.

Did you check her stuff?

Look in the computer,

you'll find some clues.

Check her mail too.

You and Luigi need to calm down.

I'm not a policeman, or an idiot.

I'm a priest, all right?

Only when it's convenient for you.

I knew you'd chicken out

and not help us.

Sure, first it was Dad...

Now she's manipulating you.

Anyway...

I'll call you back!

I'll call back!

We were looking for you!

It's indecent,

you should be ashamed.

- What happened?

- The brunette that lives here...

Is she your guest,

is she renting, sub-leasing...

is she a friend?

No, ma'am, she's family.

Is her name Lara by any chance,

Father?

Yes, what happened to her?

What happened to us!

Come and see.

Look here... look at this.

The neighbors already

called a lawyer.

You're paying for this.

It's your responsibility!

If I did the same in your house,

what would you say?

What would you say?

I'd say it's indecent!

It's indecent!

I'll find a solution...

It's ready.

My love, I miss you so much.

We'll see each other soon.

How much do you want to be with me?

Me too.

I send you a kiss and hug you.

Bye, Michael. Bye, sweetheart.

I came to Italy from Moldavia

with my mother,

when I was very small.

When I was born, my mother

wanted to join my father,

an Italian engineer

she met in Moldavia.

An a**hole.

He disappeared.

As usual.

She had to face loads of problems.

So...

she had to give me up.

I grew up in a foster family

near Perugia.

Were you happy there?

Mom visited me

when she could but...

it wasn't often.

Who is it?

So late?

Good evening.

This is...

the estimate to cover the tag.

- Shall we deal with your father?

- No.

How much is it?

I could build a school in Africa

with that!

This is Italy, Father.

All right.

You are still a priest, right?

Of course, you doubt it?

Thank you, goodbye.

Sorry, the neighbors want to change

the intercom, I don't know...

Listen...

Know anything about some tags?

Tags?

Huge, sprayed on the wall.

Felix!

Saw them?

The whole neighborhood did.

Sorry about that.

The guy on the phone earlier?

Which phone call?

I make a lot.

The guy whose wife

is going to kill him?

He's older...

A real sh*t

who bullshitted me a lot.

Sorry.

Sorry for what?

I forget you're a priest.

So?

You might be shocked.

It's frustrating that a girl like you

can have such

a corny image of priests.

We're not like this,

we're normal people.

Very normal.

I know.

You don't!

In your imagination,

we're like priests you see on TV,

who rub their hands

and speak with a singing voice:

"Hail, peace, serenity, happiness."

We're not like that. At all.

Believe me, I've travelled the world.

Can I have a cigarette?

- Want mine?

- And you?

I'll light another.

I've faced civil wars,

storms, earthquakes.

Why are you smoking?

I can tell you've never smoked.

Trying to impress me?

- I used to smoke.

- Come on!

I don't want it anymore.

Good!

With my car, in Africa,

I crossed rivers, drove through deserts.

Rally pilots make me laugh.

They're wankers.

Yes, they are.

Say it louder!

They're wankers!

- Happy now?

- Yes.

I have to carry a weapon

because of wild animals.

And... I like music,

I... listen to rock music,

I don't only listen to psalms.

- I've got an l-pod.

- How cool.

I have all of Led Zeppelin.

- A rapper?

- Who?

"Zed".

No, it's a band from my time.

Never mind.

It's a difficult place,

but people dance.

And I dance!

You like dancing too?

If you don't dance in Africa,

where do you dance?

Listen...

what time is it?

What time?

Quarter to eleven.

We are we going?

Do you have pastries?

What pastries?

Yes or no?

Pastries? I don't know

if they sell any here...

- Got some plums?

- What?

- Got plums or not?

- Why should I have plums?

Don't stand there, it's confusing.

We're not in the right place.

They ask me for things

I don't understand.

No bulls tonight.

Only chicken wings.

- Chicken wings?

- Can't you see?

See who?

Chicken wings?

- Got some candy?

- Yes.

There's a gas station nearby

selling plums... and pastries.

Uncle? What are you doing here?

Eva!

- Did you come with her?

- She wanted me to come.

What are pastries, plums, candy?

Don't tell Mom you saw us,

and forget about the candy!

I won't tell,

but you didn't see me either.

- Just don't say anything.

- I swear. Do you?

- I swear to God.

- Leave God out of it!

What the f*** you doing?

- You directing traffic?

- I was calling someone.

F*** you.

Really sorry.

Never again...

Let's smoke a joint

before going to bed, it relaxes me.

Relaxes you, not me,

get to bed, it's 3 a.m.

But you acted so hip...

Press the button.

Hands off, hands off.

I'll get excommunicated.

I wish.

My legs ache.

I ache all over.

Hurry, I need to pee.

Wait a minute. What's this?

What've you done to the door?

- Me?

- Well, not me!

Want to break in?

Sorry, wrong floor.

The doors all look alike,

even the knobs.

Can I say something?

We can't sleep anymore!

Get a hold of yourselves!

I really apologize.

Good night.

Good morning, rather!

Is he still a priest?

I don't know,

he came back with this slut.

Who knows what the hell

he's done in Africa!

My head aches.

No more nights like this.

Careful with the couch, it's broken.

What?

I wanted to tell you...

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