Me Again Page #4

you can sleep in all day!

Look at this mess!

Olean up this room

before you go out today.

Yes, ma'am.

Ma'am?

Are you doing drugs?

Um, I don't think so.

Let's go.

And be more productive today.

You.

You're a jerk!

Hello?

Where are you?

You were supposed to pick

me up a half an hour ago.

Briar?

My mom's coming back soon,

and now she's going to know.

She's, she's

going to know what?

Stop acting like such a dufe

ball and just get over here!

Oh, I knew you were trouble.

Where are you going?

I'm not sure.

I think I'm supposed

to pick up Briar.

Hey, you ever think about

the way you raised me,

that maybe you've been

a little too lenient?

When I get back,

we should take some time

to talk about proper discipline.

# So why

what's the problem #

What is this

garbage they listen to?

Oh, nice touch, very homey.

Michael, Ruby!

Oh, hey, Colin.

Hey?

What's up, brother!

Yeah, um, awkward.

Ruby, give Daddy a big hug.

You're not my daddy.

No, I'm not your daddy, but

how about a daddy-sized hug,

right?

Huh?

Okay, all right.

Uh, so what are you guys doing?

We're playing

in our playhouse.

That's not a playhouse.

It's as close as

we're ever going to get to one.

What are you doing out here?

Hi, honey.

I missed you so much.

No, whoa.

Hey!

What are you doing?

I'm telling Mom

you hugged a boy.

That's right.

You're telling your mother,

because that was

completely inappropriate.

You'd better keep your

mouth shut, you little twerp.

Hey, that's no way

to talk to your little brother.

You're not supposed to

have boys here when Mom's not home.

He's got a point.

You know, I shouldn't

even be here.

You are in big trouble,

little lady.

Come on, let's go.

Wait, shouldn't

we, uh, you know,

wait for your

mother to get home?

My mom?

Man, I sure would

like to see her.

Okay, if you don't stop

acting like such a freak,

I'm going to scream.

Okay, okay.

I'll see you guys later, huh?

Bye.

Bye.

Hey, smile.

Hey, wait up.

What a freak.

You want to tell

me where we're going?

This whole thing

was your idea.

Wait, are you

backing out now?

You promised me.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Promised you what?

You are just like my dad.

My mom trusted him,

and look where it got her.

Wait, wait, just slow down.

What are you talking about?

The doctor's office.

Remember?

You're taking me

to the doctor's office.

Why?

Are you sick?

You're really going

to make me say it?

Isn't that enough

that I've agreed to do it?

Do what?

Of all the... I can't believe

you would...

your mother would faint

if she knew.

You're in so much

trouble right now!

I can't... with Colin,

of all people, Colin, me,

with... young lady, you are

grounded 'til the rapture!

Briar, Briar!

Briar Emily Chaplin, you get

back here right this instant!

Excuse me?

There is no reason

for you to be using

that tone of voice

with my daughter.

April, I'm glad you're here. We've got major

problems.

I would prefer you address

me as Mrs. Chaplin, Colin.

If it's not bad enough, our

kids are playing in a pile

of wood, Briar's about to make

a huge mistake with a boy!

What are you talking about?

What boy?

Me!

Uh, not me, but Colin.

You know what?

I think it's time

for you to leave.

April, April, listen to me.

Okay, listen to me.

I need you to keep

an open mind on this, okay?

I am your husband.

I'm him, me, Rich!

Okay, that's

not funny, Colin.

No, you, you have

to believe me, April.

I am the father

of your children.

Okay, you know what?

Don't you ever

come here again, okay?

I want you

to stay away from Briar

and stay away from my family.

And if you do come around, I'm

going to have you arrested.

April?

Or better yet,

committed to an institution.

April!

Yeah, all right, all right.

Can I help you, young man?

It's me again.

I liked you better

when you were a hot babe.

You have no idea

the day that I've had.

See, that's what's weird,

because I just spent

the whole day with you.

What?

The other you, the real you,

trying to figure

this whole thing out.

You mean I'm

still walking around?

Yes!

What was I like?

Same old miserable

self-loathing,

suck the energy out

of a room guy you always are.

How can you stand

to be around me?

Why are you still my friend?

Because you haven't

always been like this.

Do you remember when

I went to New York,

and I fell on my face out there

trying to make it

n the movie business?

All I ever wanted was

to direct and write movies,

and it didn't work out.

I was in a bad way.

You, you drove all the way from

the West Coast to come out there

and straighten me out.

You saved my life...

by introducing me to Jesus,

and I found out that I could

actually have a better life

than the life

I thought I wanted.

You know, Rich, you may not

like yourself very much,

but you've got the ability

to make those people around you

like themselves

a whole lot more.

That's a gift, man.

I don't know about that.

Why is this happening to me?

Am I being punished?

Well, let's break it down.

Have you learned anything?

Have I leamed anything?

Do you know what I've learned?

My youngest kids

think that I'm a loser.

My oldest daughter is about

to make the biggest mistake

of her life.

And so,

yeah, yeah, I've learned.

I've leamed

that I am a terrible father

and a husband.

But we already knew that.

I'm saying have you

leamed anything different?

When is this going to end?

Buddy, that's

entirely up to you.

Do you feel like you've

touched rock bottom?

Do you feel like you're

at the end of your rope?

Have you thought

about just giving up?

No!

Look, things are going

to get a lot worse

before they get better.

Every hero has to die before

he could be bom again.

I'm a Christian.

I'm already born again.

Ah, I think you

were bored again.

What you need right now is

a crises that's going to change

the way you live your life.

What do you mean?

This may speed things up.

April brought this by before.

I was supposed

to give it to you.

I was kind of hoping

for the best.

What is it?

I don't know.

I didn't read it.

It's divorce papers.

I've gotta get out of here.

I've gotta go back home

and save my marriage!

Hey, hey!

Come here!

April!

April, it's me!

Go away, Colin.

April, April, it's me!

All right, boy, come on!

Well, ma'am,

I guess that about wraps it up.

I have no idea

what came over him.

He frightens me.

Well, it looks like he's got

it bad for your daughter, April.

Actually, I'm April.

Oh, well, it's worse

than I thought, then.

Ah, a night in county

ought to smarten him up.

Have a good night.

Thank you.

Whew.

Funny thing about life.

Just when you think things

can't get any worse,

they usually do.

Why me, Lord?

Why did you put

me in this story,

if it wasn't going

to have a happy ending?

# Why me, Lord,#

# Why can't I have

a happy ending #

# Aboo-hoo, boo-hoo #

# A crybaby you #

# Aboo-hoo, boo-hoo #

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes