Mean Creek Page #3

I don't care what you say.

I don't wanna do it.

- Millie thinks it's a bad idea too.

- Oh, well, if Millie thinks...

- Millie thinks what's a bad idea?

- Nothing.

You pansies untie the knot yet?

Chop, chop, come on.

Hey.

Hey, Rock, you know,

I got a knife

that'll slice through that

like butter.

That's OK, George.

I think we got it.

Well, it's got, like, a bone saw,

scissor, pick ax,

I mean, everything.

It's OK, George.

OK.

I'll talk to Marty about it, OK?

Give me your oar.

- Nice.

- Thank you, George.

Yeah, I once skipped

a rock on this lake,

it skipped, like,

a thousand times.

Let's get her in the water.

Aye, aye, capitan.

Calling off the plan.

I'll tell you later.

It's all taken care of.

Hey! You guys should take

your shoes off

if you don't want

to get them wet.

Too late. They're soaked.

This is gonna be fun,

don't you think?

Yeah. But whoever didn't

bring life jackets

on a boat trip's a moron.

Hey, you know

I have athlete's foot?

- Get in.

- You are so disgusting.

Oh, my gosh.

Row, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four...

Sam loves it, don't you lie

Rocky is a pimp

Clyde is a fag

Yeah, you love it, don't you?

He spit all over the lens.

Shut up, Rocky, this is

what's gonna get me on MTV.

You need go-go dancers.

This is expensive.

OK, now you have to stop.

Send your donations

to George Tooney, Oregon.

Love one.

I always thought I was really

talented in that sense.

You agree, right? Up top.

Maybe later.

I'm glad the way

this day's turning out.

It's a nice day.

Yeah, if nothing else,

it's a nice day.

Can you guys taste

how sweet the air is?

Smells like cherry blossom.

How do you know what

cherry blossoms smell like, George?

It's obvious.

I don't know.

What is a cherry blossom?

It's the blossom on a cherry.

No, I thought it was

its own kind of plant.

What do you think, Marty?

I think I'm bored as f***.

I also think I got some more beer

in my pack.

- Anyone want one?

- Yeah.

- You drinking, Sammy?

- Yeah, sure.

I thought you...

Didn't you want a beer?

Hey, Sammy.

If you're really feeling

like a party animal...

...you wanna smoke

a birthday doobie?

Sam doesn't smoke weed, Marty.

- Rocky, chill out.

- There's younger people

- on this trip, Marty.

- All right, f***-face, calm down.

- I've been stoned before.

- Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah. I smoked a whole blunt

myself once. Yup.

I... I hallucinated that there was...

There was a little blue guy

on my shoulder,

f***ing tap dancing.

But, no, I don't smoke weed

after that,

because, like, my doctor says

it stunts your growth.

- So I'm waiting until I'm 24.

- Yeah.

Because, you know, that's when

you stop growing.

Have you ever been stoned, Millie?

Would you please get that

out of my face?

All right, go ahead, turn it off.

Sure is a beautiful river.

Oh, you guys, look!

- What?

- What?

What?

I thought I saw a water snake.

Sam.

Millie.

Thanks.

- Here.

- Thanks.

All that boating really gets

your appetite up.

You've just been sitting in the boat.

I've been shifting my weight

the whole time,

trying to keep us level.

Yeah, you've really been

working hard.

As if your p*ssy ass

has been doing anything.

Did you make these yourself?

You'II... You'll have to give me

the recipe sometime.

It's peanut butter and jelly.

Oh, yeah.

Nothing beats a good piss

in the river.

Except, of course,

a good romping session

of a stupid, ugly, dumb,

pathetic piece of sh*t.

- Yeah, we gotta talk about that.

- Yeah?

What's to talk about?

I want to call it off.

I'm not laughing.

I'm dead serious.

Wait a minute.

First, you get me all juiced up.

You make me steal my mom's car.

You get me out here

on a Saturday

when I could be at home

watching TV.

- Marty, come on.

- Then you have me steering

the f***ing Titanic all across the river

with a bunch of munchkins

who are totally sober

and bringing me down.

Now, you mean to tell me

we don't even get to do

what we came out here for?

I had no idea the guy

was gonna turn out so nice.

Check it out, Rock,

he's not nice!

He's a spoiled, retarded punk

who beat up your brother.

OK, maybe I feel a little sorry

for him now.

OK, well, then I'm gonna

give you two choices:

You're either hard as hell

and you're yanking my chain,

or you're the limpest dick

I've ever met in my life.

- Everyone wants to call it off.

- Well, everyone is a vagina!

You don't even have

a real grudge against him.

If you were any kind

of a good brother,

you wouldn't let Sammy boy

get the sh*t kicked out of him

and then stroke the beater-upper's dick

all day long.

- Just remember the plan's off.

- Yeah.

I just wonder if,

when push came to shove,

if you'd have my back.

Hey, Clyde.

Remember when you were in the

fourth grade, and I was in third, and I...

I smacked you across the face

with a bat?

- How could I forget?

- Maybe you had that thing

where you forget

from getting hit in the head.

- Amnesia?

- Yeah.

Anyway, I was trying to remember.

- Why'd I do it?

- I don't know.

You must've done something.

No, I never do anything to anybody.

That's stupid.

Of course you do.

Look, it's not stupid, George.

You just attacked me.

A kid doesn't just attack

for no reason.

You always attack for no reason.

I know it's your birthday, Sam,

but shut your trap.

Hey! You pussies done

with your sammies?

Does it look like we're done

with our sandwiches?

Yeah, I'm gonna get the boat

back in the water.

You ladies can join me

whenever you want.

Why'd you drop the anchor?

Because I felt like it.

Hey, Sammy.

What you say we bust out

that Stream Machine.

- Yeah, OK.

- Clyde, can you give it to me?

All right.

Put that away.

All right, first, we must charge

the propulsion system.

And then take aim

and run a preliminary test.

Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

Don't f***ing squirt

that thing at me again!

Hey, what do you guys say

we play some Truth or Dare?

Yeah. Yeah, I love that game.

- OK, then, let's do it.

- Let's not.

People's feelings always end up hurt

when we play this game.

Yeah, she's right.

God, Sam and Millie

are a couple of little

wet pussies, aren't they?

Clyde, do you wanna start?

I don't know. I'm kind of with

Millie and Sam on this one.

P*ssy number one,

p*ssy number two,

p*ssy number three.

Go ahead, Clyde. Start the game.

OK, then.

Rocky, truth or dare?

Truth.

All right, I want you to tell us,

in 20 words or more,

what you were thinking

the last time you beat off.

Susie Johnson.

But that's...

That's not even 20 words.

It's, like, two.

OK, I imagined that

she followed me into the locker room,

went into the stall.

She got on her knees.

I sat on the toilet.

- That's 20.

- All right, Rocky, it's your turn.

OK, Sammy. Truth or dare?

Dare.

I dare you to French kiss

Millie for ten seconds.

Man.

It's pretty exciting.

- It's OK.

- What? It's OK.

Wait, did you hear that?

It's OK.

She wants it.

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