Meatballs 4

1

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Do you hear anything?

No. Not yet.

(HORN BLARING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

Anything now?

No.

(HORN CONTINUES BLARING)

How about now?

Nope.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Here she comes.

(TIRES SCREECH)

On time?

To the second.

Let's see those pizza delivery

boys do that. Everybody out.

Okay, everybody, here we go. Let's

line up right over here by the bus.

Okay, fine, fine.

Okay, over by the bus.

Just gather up

over here by the bus.

That's fine, folks. That's good.

That's the way. Okay!

Would you look at that?

Maybe 30 people.

Twenty-four.

Twenty-four people.

Few years ago, we would have

had 80, maybe 100 of them.

No more.

And all because

of one thing.

The economy?

That damned MTV.

(HOOTING)

So far so good, huh? No major

geeks. No major losers.

But the day is young.

Boy! Mom and Dad were right.

This is gonna be great.

(GRUNTING)

(ALL SHOUTING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

I'm sorry, guys.

What did I tell you, Kell?

There is a loser born

every second.

I knew that fat ass was gonna be

trouble when we first got on that bus.

Yeah. Shake it off.

We got two weeks here.

And a lot can happen to Porky

in two weeks.

Catch my drift?

Okay, okay.

Everybody settle down.

A little water

ain't gonna hurt you.

I mean, unless

you're on the Titanic.

All right. Now, welcome

to Lakeside Water Ski Camp.

I'm Neil Peterson.

I'm the owner.

People around here

just call me Neil.

Especially when I'm dropped

to my knees.

(LAUGHS)

Well, I think you should

check with your counselors

for your assigned bungalows, and

then maybe hit the showers, huh?

I guarantee you, gang.

Listen, these last two weeks of summer are

going to be fantastic. I promise you.

What do you say, gang?

Okay, right here we have,

Ford, Duncan and Thigpen.

Let's go. Let's go.

Over here we have Starbuck,

Burberry, Franklin, Paladino,

Hardy, Fouts, and Donnenberg.

Hey, three of you girls are in this

cabin. Hillary, Misha and Loren.

Okay. And the rest of you

follow me. We're up here.

Wes.

(SNIFFING)

(GIRLS CHATTERING)

Howie, I'm getting a good

feeling about this place.

Yeah, I'm getting

the same feeling.

I'm getting a woody.

Hi, I'm Victor.

Victor Thigpen.

Victor, Victor Thigpen. Wes Ford.

This is my pal, Howie.

Hi.

Sorry about the water.

I kind of got excited.

See, this is my first time

at camp.

No. No.

Really!

Actually, this is my first

time away from home.

"First time away

from home."

Victor, you know,

you seem like a cool guy.

And since these girls down here

were headed for the shower,

would you be interested in joining

me and Howie for a little

sneak preview?

Boy, would I!

Hey, guys, my back hurts.

I want to look, too.

Hey, relax, Pigpen,

we just got here.

As you all know, I've encountered

a few financial problems

here at Lakeside.

That, coupled

with a drastic decrease

in the number of patrons over

the last couple of years...

It's really taken a toll

on our camp.

The result is I've been forced to let

go a number of our regular counselors.

And I guess the topper was last

week when Jonathan left us

to take the other recreation

director's job up there in Oregon.

You know that he didn't

even call to say goodbye?

You know, I don't even think

he'd care if he hurt somebody.

Come on. You're going on

nine minutes.

Would you shut up?

Just a minute more.

Check it out!

Dang.

(SCREAMING)

THIGPEN:
(STAMMERING) Skunk!

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

I'm telling you, Howie,

that Thigpen is mine.

Well, be that as it may, we now find

ourselves without a rec director.

Therefore, I've had to decide

on a replacement,

and I've made my decision.

Our new recreation director

will be

Ricky Wade.

What?

Ricky Wade?

He's working over

at Twin Oaks.

He was working

for Twin Oaks.

Apparently, he wasn't happy

with the new owners over there.

And when he heard that Jonathan had

left us, he inquired about the job.

Look, in the two years since

he left us for Twin Oaks,

he was singlehandedly responsible

for doubling their attendance!

Doubling it.

And God knows we're in

serious need of someone.

(AIRCRAFT HOVERING) who can

do the same thing here.

(EXCLAIMS)

Wes, check this guy out.

Whoa! Whoa!

BOY:
That was cool.

Boy, this place

even has a stunt show.

Can't be.

Whoa!

(GRUNTING)

Whoa, what a landing.

That was some fun, huh?

Hey, guys.

Sorry if I'm

a little bit late.

I gotta tell you, man, those

standby flights, they're a b*tch.

The food sucks.

I'm serious.

Kyle. Wow, if it isn't Kyle.

And if it isn't,

I'm very excited about that.

So, who flew you in, Wade? Or

should I say, threw you out?

Happy to see you, too. Whoa!

Didn't know you were that happy.

Jennifer. Rickster!

Hi, Bill. Hi, Ted. Any

excellent adventures lately?

No? Good.

You just never change.

Hello, Ricky. Hi, kid.

NEIL:
Ricky. Ricky.

Hey. Hey!

I'm glad to see you, son.

Really glad to see you.

Thank you.

Hey, we're all glad to see you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hey, folks. I want you to meet our

new recreation director, Ricky Wade.

Yeah.

Oh. Neil, have you been telling those bad

jokes again, like a bad little Neil?

Huh? You know we don't like it

when you do that.

Kids, has he been a bad boy?

I think we need

to put him in his place, kids.

All right, now, listen up.

This is the plan.

I'm your drill sergeant.

At 1600 hours,

you boys and girls are gonna come

to the "Welcome to Camp" party.

And until that time,

I want you all to take your

clothes off, have a lot of sex

and go out and hit the lake!

Don't worry, Neil, I got them

right where I want them.

Fine. Fine. Fine. Good.

(EXCLAIMING)

Go.

Kyle!

(GASPING)

All right,

ready to cross.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Finally, somebody knows

what they're doing.

Okay!

Now, try to jump off the ramp.

What are you doing?

Wishing I were a duck.

All right, make a wide right

turn into the ramp, okay?

No. No. A right turn.

Right! Right!

(SCREAMING)

Boy, this is way better

than the brochure.

(EXCLAIMING)

I'm not with him anymore,

so drop it.

What the hell were you ever doing

with him in the first place?

I've known him

for a long time.

The guy is an a**hole, Kelly.

Whatever.

Great.

Grandpa, why did you have to

bring Ricky back here?

Of all the people

for this job, why him?

Well...

Honey,

look.

A long time ago I promised your parents

that if anything ever happened to them,

I'd take care of you.

Now, you know I want this camp

to be yours one day.

But for that to happen,

I have to do everything I can to

make sure that it's still here.

And strange as it may seem, Ricky

can help make that happen.

But you don't understand

how awkward it is for me

to have Ricky and Kyle here

at the same time.

Oh, honey, all I ask is

that you try to understand.

All I'm doing is what I think

is best for the camp.

Grandpa, I know that.

It's just really difficult

right now.

All right,

all you happy campers.

All you have to do is aim

and yell "pull."

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