Medal of Victory Page #5

at mayor Crump's office.

An unidentified army sergeant,

- reportedly the recipient of the

prestigious... -That's him!

- Medal of victory...

- Real son of a b*tch.

Apprehended a suspect

before police arrived.

- In other news, Afghanistan veteran

Paul Gerard... -Captain Starke?

- Was discovered dead in his vehicle...

- He's here.

After an apparent crash

earlier this morning.

This judge, Parr is his name,

he's a real war buff.

- Where'd he serve?

- He didn't,

and he picks

every election judge in town.

However, I can't keep on carrying

you for the rest of my life,

people say, "when is he

gonna get a real job?"

Christ, you're an embarrassment.

His man doesn't vote 'em.

He counts 'em.

And if the number's not right,

he'll keep on counting

until it is.

- How long do you think we'll be?

- How long?

Look, just don't say anything

while we're in there, all right?

Not a word.

Stu, do you...

I don't know,

- want to hang out down here?

- Hang out?

Right.

'Course. Love to.

- Good idea.

- Don't come upstairs at all.

Where do you think you're going?

But I thought

I was supposed to...

- Stay with the f***ing car.

- Scrub the rims.

Nobody wins without the judge.

He controls the election.

Yeah, come in.

Hello, judge.

Sit down, make yourself a drink.

Heard about your office, Ted.

- Real shame.

- Don't I know it.

My nephew's doing

elections this year.

- Who's this?

- Judge, this is...

Are you trying

to get me indicted?

Do you want me to die

in a six by nine?

Judge!

This is Floyd Mcmasters.

Winner of the medal of victory?

Oh, yes!

From the TV

earlier this morning!

Son, I'm your biggest fan.

There aren't any cameras

down that hallway.

Well, maybe we should

go install one.

It almost seems fake.

On my life, judge,

it's completely genuine.

Sh*t!

It was only me alone

in that ditch, my friend.

With my bolt action

thirty-ought-six

and my shrapnel-filled

dead leg.

And I felt a rumble,

and over the Ridge 150 Taliban

fighters on horseback

come thundering over the Ridge,

- and just as I raised my gun...

Finish your story, Mcmasters.

Could you excuse me

just one second, please?

- Hello? -It's me.

Did he call yet?

No, not yet. Look, I'm a

little tied up right now.

Meet me at the

courthouse right away.

Why?

I need you to meet

someone with me, a judge.

Where are you?

Like, a minute away.

I'll meet you there.

Stop!

- Don't go in there.

- Where's he at?

I'm supposed to tell you

it's cancelled.

The judge's wife, uh...

She had, uh, a family...

A birth!

In the family.

I thought his wife was dead.

That's what I meant.

And here is my prized Luger po8.

No telling how many bodies

are on this one.

Tell Floyd to get

his ass up here.

Ah, well, now we can start the meeting.

Come in!

Start the meeting?

Wait! Don't...

Afternoon, your honor.

Excuse me, but we're discussing

official city business here.

What is this?

Please be seated.

I don't sit down with thieves.

Thieves?

You're the thief!

Everyone, sit down.

Hey.

I'm not supposed to talk to you.

You don't have

to tell me anything.

Just take this tape

and listen to exactly

what I say.

Now, these have been prosperous

years, no doubt.

But it's time now

to rethink old models

and to look to the future.

What is the deal, judge Parr?

You both want the same thing,

you tell me.

All right, judge.

Seven percent salary increase

for next year.

- Eight.

- Bastard. Nine, judge.

Where did you come from?

Right there. Looks like

they're closed, though.

No, judge always stays

late for a drink.

Listen, he's got random

salary increases,

dodgy expense reports, and

he's appointed every election

judge since crump took office.

- You don't say.

- Plus, he's a big war buff,

- so I need you. -Can't we

just do this tomorrow?

Thought you were

leaving tomorrow.

You're right, I am.

Here we go.

Twenty, and...

An autographed letter

from general

George s. Patton himself.

Goodness me!

This is gonna be

one tough decision.

Judge, you should be aware that

I've already secured

the endorsement

of medal of victory winner,

Floyd Mcmasters.

Wasn't he just here, Ted?

That's right judge, he was sitting

right there in that chair.

Ma'am? The building's

closed for the day.

- We gotta see the judge.

- Do you have an appointment?

I have a medal of victory winner

with whom the judge is eagerly

anticipating a meeting.

He's already in a meeting.

With who?

Well, why don't you ask him?

He came in with him,

rode up the elevator with him.

Well, go on, ask him!

- Floyd?

- Um...

Where the hell were you?

I'll be right back.

What is she doing here?

This sh*t's over.

We have to abort.

Tell me who's

in judge Parr's office.

- The mayor.

- And?

The other guy, Maddox.

Clyde.

Yeah, it's me.

No, I'm out of jail.

Listen, get every reporter

you know

down at the courthouse

immediately.

I'm not aborting this mission

and neither are you.

You don't run this outfit.

I never wanted to come back here

in the first place.

I hate this town, hate it!

Impossible, judge.

I don't know who this man

brought into your office,

but I can assure you

he was a fraud.

Fraud? Ha!

Floyd Mcmasters

is the most courageous citizen

this town has ever known.

- Get off me!

- Listen!

You want to earn

that medal or what, soldier?

This medal...

Is a curse.

Enough. Wendi, go get

Mcmasters right now.

Don't let that Luger fall!

Judge Parr?

Felix?

We have to...

We have to call an ambulance.

Nobody's calling anybody.

- What do you got?

This way, everyone.

- We have to.

- He's dead, Floyd.

Felix!

God damn

this sour-bellied town!

You're a malediction,

all of you!

Take my f***ing money,

and run across town

to that gerontofile?

They called the press.

Son of a b*tch.

Next time I see you, I'm gonna

put a bullet in your head.

You understand? You're dead in

this town, Mcmasters. Dead!

Floyd, we gotta move

out of here, now.

Right through that door.

What did you do?

Why did you kill the judge?

I didn't kill anybody.

Wait.

- Holy Christ. -Knock 'em

out and drag 'em in.

Wait.

How much for a mow, Floyd?

Just gonna sit there with that

dumb look on your face, Princess?

- Start blasting, Mcmasters!

Come on, Mcmasters,

get your head out of your ass!

Sh*t, it's the captains.

Act professional.

What do you think, captain?

Sweat balls, both of em!

Floyd, help me!

Posse Comitatus, motherfuckers!

Stu?

Game over, game over.

No!

Sergeant?

You got a visitor.

A soldier named Paul

gave it to me.

And why would he do that?

He said he

didn't want it anymore.

Wow.

So many lies.

Look...

- I didn't mean to... -yeah,

you didn't mean to what?

You didn't mean to lie

about that medal?

That you're awol from the army?

That you're conspiring

to rig this election?

Which of those lies did you

not mean to tell, Floyd?

Look...

All I ever wanted

to do is send food

to starving kids in Malawi.

All I ever wanted to do

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