Medal of Victory Page #4

See?

Behind every great fortune,

there's a great crime.

Was that last part fake?

Uh, he meant that it was so

shocking that it seemed fake.

What?

Mr. Maddox, your hourly

poll report, sir.

It's saying you're, um,

down by one point.

- Sh*t. Susan, get your fat ass in here!

- Yes, sir.

What the f*** are you doing

buzzing me during a meeting?

- You said to always...

- Do you wanna work

in the mayor's office

or do you wanna be half a c*nt?

Listen, son, I need the services

of a decorated soldier

like yourself for one hour.

And I'm willing to pay.

About $160 a minute.

Shall we dance?

- I'll think it over.

- No! You think about it now!

Is that what I'm worth?

It is today.

- We want double.

- No doubles.

When that phone rings

you pick it up.

It'll be me.

When this deal's down,

we're gonna require

another envelope

of a happier size.

Okay, boys, thank you very much.

It was a pleasure.

Get some rest, you guys.

You both look terrible.

Ta-ta!

I hope your mind's

not as empty as that desk.

Decorated soldier,

like yourself,

for one hour,

and I'm willing to pay.

Hells motherfucking yeah,

sergeant.

What did I tell you?

Mm-mmm.

Smell that money?

Can you believe how Maddox

just shits on his employees?

One day that guy's gonna

get f'd right in the a.

So you wanna stay the hour

or you wanna take off?

Just count me out my half.

I don't if you were

actually listening,

but that wasn't option.

I need it.

- Why?

- Give me the money.

Ooh, now I'm really not gonna

give you the money.

I need to bail Grady

out of jail.

What?

Mcmasters, are you so

profoundly desperate for p*ssy

that you're willing to spring

your ex-girlfriend

of nine years out of jail?

Just give me the money.

Whatcha gonna do?

You gonna beat me up?

Son! You're a real

bit of hope around here.

Oh, gee, thank you.

Hope you're staying with us.

Actually, we were just leaving.

Leaving? Already?

Son, this is your home.

Not anymore.

Your home's your home.

- Hey.

- Be nice.

You know what I think?

I think this place sucks.

And I think that

every second I spend here

I add one more sucky moment

to my otherwise blissful

little existence.

Taxi!

- What a f***ing a**hole.

- Right?

African geopolitics

were rocked this morning,

when news spread that the small

African nation of Malawi

may now be armed

with a nuclear device,

due to a mishap

with army logistics.

An investigation

into the matter is underway,

and is expected to reach

the highest levels

of the military.

Motherfuckers.

What?

You bailed me out?

Yeah.

You look awful.

Those are really nice shoes

you're wearing.

Hold on!

Okay.

All right, I'm gonna go.

- That was a mistake.

- Wait a minute.

- Big mistake. Huge. -Come on,

don't you want to hear my story?

Don't worry,

I've heard it all before.

- I had a meeting this morning.

- Oh, really? Fancy, fancy.

Don't you want to know

where your camera is?

- What?

- And your bag?

Come again?

I have a certain

incriminating cassette tape,

but... I guess you just don't

want to know about that.

Well, gotta go.

You think this is some

kind of a game, Mcmasters?

No!

Listen, you're gonna tell me

everything I need to know

in the next two seconds.

Oh, okay, okay.

Just let go, Jesus.

Yourself, for about one hour.

- And I'm willing to pay.

- Brilliant.

Listen, if you see him

again, call me.

Thought you wanted me to go.

My husband won one of those,

you know.

Husband?

Fought in Naziriyah.

It was posthumously awarded.

Saved 11 people before he died.

Wow.

You sacrificed once

for your country, Floyd.

Do it again for your hometown.

It needs you.

What did she do in there?

Fondle your balls?

Oh, I'm sorry.

You must've fondled hers.

Actually, we made out.

Who's car is this?

The mayor's,

with whom we have

a rendezvous in 15 minutes.

Hmm, no thanks.

Come on. We both know you're

broke as a joke, Sarn't.

Get in.

Great meal, Monty, and again,

thank you so much

for your support.

Ah, so good to see you,

sergeant.

Say, how would you like

a parade in your honor

- straight through town?

- That's okay.

No, too late. Jonathan here has

already been making plans.

It's gonna be humongous.

Mayor!

Looking forward to unemployment?

What... what was that?

Suck some Chuck,

hag-f***er!

Oh, Ted.

Move!

I'm real sorry about the mess

in here, gentlemen.

If you'll excuse me I have

a quick call to make.

- Go ahead.

Make yourselves a drink.

- What do you want?

- Nothing.

Come on.

It's good stuff here.

Maddox cannot find out

about this, you understand?

There's things at work here,

at play.

He won't find out.

Yes he will, Stu!

Then what?

Drink, for god's sake.

You look like sh*t.

Jesus, will you keep

your head screwed on?

I'm telling we were

in Maddox's office.

What?

No.

- Don't do that, Floyd.

- Oh no?

Who's running this outfit?

Oh, don't f***ing

pull rank with me.

Mcmasters.

Excellent work

earlier today, son.

That reporter has been a real

heel for us, isn't that right?

Oh, yeah.

Splendid.

Splendid.

Splendid.

So, Mr. mayor...

We've already been

to see Maddox.

- You... you what?

- Say again?

We enjoyed coffee and eggs with

him in his office this morning.

Boy, that was tasty bacon,

right, Stu?

Look, Mr. mayor,

like he said,

we're just trying on

different drawers.

- Drawers? -What the

hell is going on here?

He showed us

some disturbing footage.

- He's exhausted.

- I'm not believing this.

Jonathan, are you

believing this?

Cash.

On a big table.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Get Andy in here now.

Does Andy know how

to make a decent cocktail?

Can we just talk

this over for a minute?

No, tell me, how long have you been

colluding with that cryptofascist?

You think you're gonna win

without this guy?

Do you?

That medal there is a symbol

of unbridled conquest,

a freedom thrasher.

And whoever holds it Tuesday

wins and you know it,

so you'd better start

negotiating,

or we'll throw ourselves

right back into the loving arms

of Harry Maddox.

Would you please fix me a drink?

So what'll it be?

- 20,000.

- What?

- 50.

- 50?

- You're absolutely sure.

- Jonathan, are you hearing this?

New poll numbers, chief.

It's a dead heat.

- Fine, 50.

- 50? 50 what?

- We'll take it. -What

the f*** just happened?

- Pack an envelope.

- Ted!

Just do it, Jonathan.

Be sure it's legal sized.

Right.

Legal.

Drink up.

We're going to the courthouse.

Meet us outside in five.

I ought to slap the sh*t

out of you, man.

One stupid day and you can't

keep your sh*t together?

- Yeah?

- Your hour starts now.

- Go ahead.

- Meet me on the ninth floor

of the courthouse in 20 minutes.

The courthouse?

- Why?

- F*** you, why.

Be there or the deal's off.

- Sh*t.

- No bueno, Sarn't.

- What floor are we on?

- Three.

I'm game.

You?

Yeah.

Come on.

We're late.

- Where's the money?

- After we see the judge.

Come on!

It was a chaotic scene

this morning

after a burglary

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes