Medicine Man Page #2

Feel anything?

Nothing.

Six months ago, she came to see me.

Couple of lumps on her throat.

I sent her down river with

a Franciscan missionary to the hospital.

Then she made her own way back.

It took her a month.

And the nodes were almost double the size.

Two injections of that sample

you just tested...

and the lumps disappeared within a week.

No boosters, no side effects.

That's just swell.

What am I supposed to report

to the Foundation?

Dr. Campbell showed me a cured patient...

who claims a history of undiagnosed,

undocumented lumps in her throat?

- You're untiring.

- Here it is.

- You're untiring.

- Here it is.

Her scan report.

She brought it back from Manikovi.

That's delightful.

I'll bring it with me. If you'll contact...

Stage 2, anterior and posterior lymphomas.

Here. Check her biopsy report.

What for? It could be anybody's.

- Okay.

- You think I'm lying?

You're a man

who's allowed his personal problems...

to get in the way of his clinical judgment.

That's what I think.

Stay here.

Stay here.

He talks to me like a dog.

500,000 scientists in this world...

and I end up with Dr. Mengele

with a ponytail.

Now what? Good God!

Feel that?

What is it?

- A supraclavicular node. Malignant.

- How do you know?

I gave it to him.

Transplanted tissue, I gave it to them all.

You will biopsy the lot. I insist.

That is your control group.

And this lucky bugger

gets an injection by nightfall...

and tomorrow, in the morning,

you will examine him.

Come on, I'm not proposing marriage.

I'm asking you to biopsy

a family of rodents.

Spend 12 hours in a perfectly

luxurious hammock.

You don't have to think

about that, just nod.

No ball.

What was in the tin?

The boys, you were giving them

something from the tin.

Candy coated ants.

Do you want some?

The tin is inside on the table.

I'll pass.

What about you?

What is it?

- Freeze dried ice cream.

- I'll pass.

Come on, the astronauts eat it.

It doesn't taste like ice cream.

When was the last time

you had a double dip?

The palate remembers.

That woman, Kalana?

She called you something.

What's it mean?

Medicine Man, that's me.

- Don't they have one of their own?

- What?

Medicine Man.

I gave Alka-Seltzer to a

kid with a bellyache.

You did what?

Alka-Seltzer. It cured him with one belch.

But it was the plop and the fizz

that really dazzled them.

The Medicine Man

was understandably pissed off.

I had taken his stick.

Stick?

Yeah, his self-respect. His place.

He just took off.

My intentions were well meant.

You take the hammock,

I'll sleep in the greenhouse.

- If I need anything, I'll let you know.

- You will?

Good. Thank you.

Dr. Campbell?

Already?

My name is Dr. Crane, Rae Crane.

Just in case

you need to address me directly.

I thought I'd just call you Brooklyn.

I'm from the Bronx.

Oh, well, Bronx.

It doesn't quite roll off

the tongue, does it?

Good night.

- What the hell are you doing?

- I'm covering my ass.

I don't want you accusing me of

playing switcheroo with your control group.

I get it, Peach Palm Festival, day two.

No festival, just a bedtime story.

You're staring at me.

Pyjamas.

I haven't seen pyjamas in...

a long time.

Jesus!

What is it now?

God.

It's all right. That's Henry.

He keeps the place free of rats.

Come on, old dear.

Look, I'll sleep with lizards

and I'll sleep with guinea pigs...

I understand.

A girl has to draw the line somewhere.

Come on, old dear.

- Sweet dreams.

- Go to hell.

Probably.

No.

You?

Why do you think that?

- That's very funny.

- Dr. Campbell?

Imana.

Get stuffed, both of you.

Jesus, Campbell.

I know.

You know?

You've found a cure for cancer,

and all you can say is I know?

- What is it?

- Bromeliad. The flower.

How'd you find it?

Get dressed.

Okay.

I came here six years ago. Why?

A freak tribe, no cancer.

- What about the woman you showed me?

- No, Jahausa married outside the tribe.

Kalana is an Exoti.

- Then it's genetic.

- No. It's environmental.

The tribes have always inter-married.

But as far as I can tell...

the bromeliad doesn't grow anywhere

except here.

So the Exoti don't use it.

Kalana still doesn't put it in the food.

She says it tastes bad.

So they eat this flower?

They ingest it.

Snuff.

And sometimes chewing tobacco.

It's in most of their food.

It grows wild, 100 feet up in the canopy.

Ten storeys up?

On the top shelf

of the pharmacological superstore.

It lives off a tree.

I've seen the old Medicine Man up there

gathering for his juju kit...

and there it was.

There's only one fly in the serum.

I can't reproduce it.

What do you mean?

None of the new samples work.

I have very little of the

original serum left.

That's what I mean when I say

I can't reproduce it.

Wait a minute, I don't understand.

What don't you understand?

I found a cure for the f***ing plague

of the 20th century and now I've lost it!

Haven't you ever lost anything, Dr. Bronx?

You purse, your car keys?

It's rather like that.

Now you have it, now you don't!

- Your notes are gone?

- I have my notes.

I followed my notes.

- Your notes must be wrong.

- They're not.

Then explain it.

I can't.

Okay.

The first thing I do when I get to LA

is I get Dr. Crouse.

- His people can set up a real lab here.

- There's nothing wrong with this lab.

- We've got everything we need.

- Look...

this is major league.

You need help.

I promise you will get full credit.

Do you think I give a damn

about the immortal textbook quote?

Dare I insult you with a history lesson?

Better still, how about subtraction?

Nine million indians in the Amazon...

white men bring measles,

flu, polio, and chicken pox.

Now you've got 2,00,000 indians.

Without using your fingers,

just how many did we shove in the hole?

It's not like they'll be unvaccinated.

These people would work for Aston.

All precautions would be taken.

You don't remember Mocara.

Do you?

You're too young.

Some overeager son of a b*tch found a

great little painkiller in the jungle.

Fifteen cents to make a $5 bottle.

Aston was on to it like a fly to dung.

All very scientific, all precautions taken.

Swine flu killed the entire village.

Much regret, so sorry.

The eager beaver still ended up

with his 10 cents on the dollar...

This isn't a painkiller.

This is the cure for cancer.

These people don't need

a cure for cancer, ask them!

There's a road coming into the area.

You're finished. Aston can stop that!

Aston will need the road. They'll ensure

that it leads right up to my palapa.

- How can I go...

- How can you go when I need you here?

What?

No.

I'm a damn good bio-chemist.

I'm not a field researcher.

I haven't done this work for years.

I'm not qualified.

I know, too many foundation fund raisers.

Too many sub-committees.

Take two guinea pigs

and call me in the morning.

When you're old and grey...

you'll put lilies on my grave

and wish you could thank me.

Yeah, well, I'll thank you now,

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