Medicine Man Page #3

but I'm still leaving.

How?

Campbell?

- I'm not your prisoner.

- No...

you're my research assistant.

You're not afraid of heights,

are you, Bronx?

Right foot up.

There we go.

You give the counterweight a good yank...

and up you go.

Come on.

I want you to see.

Come on.

All right.

Dr. Bronx?

Left leg first.

And now the right.

All right?

Come on.

Oh, God!

Think of Neil Armstrong.

All right.

I'll give you one week.

Did you hear me?

They're not in abundance.

If you find one, pop it in the bag.

- Are you gonna tell me what they look like?

- Yes.

Like this.

Whatever this flower needs to fertilize,

it gets it up here.

Whether it's an enzyme

being transported by...

an insect for the pollen...

or God knows what leaking out of a tree.

It could be anything.

It could be everything.

That's the beauty of this system.

You can't beat it.

You can only wipe it out.

Is that the road?

You see the river?

No one can remember it ever being this low.

- What about all the rain?

- Every year it rains less.

Less rainforest means less rain.

The indians have asked me

to pray for a deluge.

Do you pray, Bronx?

There's so much smoke.

I didn't know the road was so close.

Yes, well, death is inevitable, Dr. Bronx.

But it's considered bad form

to discuss it over a man's sickbed.

Yeah, well, closing your eyes

won't make it disappear.

Neither will talk. Let's go.

- You're a lunatic.

- I'll show you a shortcut!

God!

- When was it made?

- What?

The eighth sample, when was it made?

Data sheets, green notebook, top left.

- You don't smoke, do you?

- No, I quit.

Good God, why? They've been missing

from the last three shipments.

I suspect Jahausa's got something

to do with it.

Your other left.

Last one.

Okay, look.

Here's the original extract,

the one that works.

Here's the eight subsequent ones

that don't work.

You notice anything?

I'll give you a hint.

It's missing from every failed sample.

Peak 37.

Did you vary the solution?

Do you think the bromeliad

changes chemistry during its life cycle?

It's not impossible.

But all these samples are dated

within two weeks of each other.

Maybe the first batch was contaminated.

Maybe Peak 37 is a fungus.

I screened every sample,

including the first one.

Yeah, maybe you used a dirty test tube.

Who knows?

There's gotta be 1,000 variations

on this plant extract.

And we've gotta make

and test every single one of them.

I tell you, we need help.

We're looking at too many possibilities.

Isn't that what science is all about?

Eliminating possibilities?

You said you needed help.

Jahausa, can you tell them

that I need them to break it from the root?

How are we doing?

Tell her if she breaks

the leaves it's easier.

Imana, what are you doing?

You're in my way.

Are you breaking them from the roots?

It's Kalana.

I don't understand. I'm sorry.

He wants to know if you have a date

for the prom, euphemistically speaking.

Why are they staring at me?

They've never seen a

virgin of your maturity.

I had to give them some excuse.

You should have said

she's engaged to be married.

Really? It's to be Mrs. Bronx?

- It will be, next winter.

- I don't approve of long engagements.

We would have married earlier,

but it wasn't convenient.

A marriage of convenience.

You probably know him,

or at least his family.

Tom Falon?

Tommy Falon!

Good God, he's about 95 years old.

You'll inherit before the honeymoon's over.

I take my hat off to you, girl.

His son.

His son? No, I don't know the son,

but I can well imagine.

Good stock. Good contributor.

Met at a fundraiser, did we?

What's the difference where I met him?

Don't get your knickers in a twist,

Mrs. Bronx.

Just remember,

breeding is no substitute for intelligence.

It's often the death of it.

Do you have an unlimited supply

of that stuff?

The saliva speeds up

the fermentation process.

- Pass.

- You might as well.

We can't test this lot for another 72 hours.

It'll go by just as fast

if we're testing the local fungus.

I told you, I screened every sample.

- There is another possibility.

- Which is?

A six-pack of peach Pernod...

and you were drunker than a skunk

when you did the test.

Pernod. The "d" is silent.

If you're gonna hang around with

the Falons, you'd better get it right.

Pernod.

- Thank you, Doctor.

- Shall I write it down for you?

What if the missing step

isn't here in the lab?

Your Medicine Man, the first day

you saw him collect the bromeliads.

What if he did something?

Something you instinctively copied

that first time...

and haven't done since?

What if it's in the harvesting?

I counted at least three what ifs.

You don't start an investigation

with "once upon a time"...

- What are you going to investigate?

- Not what, who!

Your merry men must know

where the Medicine Man is.

We should go and question him.

As you yourself pointed out, you're

scarcely a qualified field researcher.

And as you've pointed out,

research is a process of elimination!

Don't you presume to tell me

how to follow up.

Question the Medicine Man.

Don't you think

I questioned the son of a b*tch?

Play somewhere else!

Relax!

- They know not to urinate in the water.

- That's not my concern.

It should be.

Urine attracts the spiky canderoo.

It's a relatively tiny fish

that enters any available orifice.

Can't you blow a whistle?

Maybe they'd like to fetch some golf balls.

The spikes are angled backwards

and have to be surgically removed.

It's a hell of a procedure.

- I came to apologize.

- Are you serious?

- I lost my temper.

- About the spikes?

No, about the Medicine Man.

- Damn it, Campbell, the spiky canderoo?

- Good God, where?

I must admit, I've never actually seen

one this far up river.

It's not a bad idea to

keep your knickers on.

All gone. Satisfied?

I didn't mean to jump down your throat

this afternoon.

Then I accept your apology. Let's forget it.

The Medicine Man,

he wouldn't answer my questions.

Until I got up to leave,

and then he spoke one word:

- "Mocara.' '

- The swine flu epidemic?

You told me.

He was afraid, you see, because in Mocara...

their medicine man

had shared forbidden juju magic...

with the eager beaver...

and swine flu...

was the Gods' punishment

for that indiscretion.

All right, he wouldn't talk.

- He might talk to me.

- A woman?

Look, what do you wanna do?

Sit on your hands for three days

and pray for Peak 37?

We could take Jahausa. He could plead

our case. You could say you're sorry.

I don't think he knows it was me.

I meant sorry for the Alka-Seltzer.

I thought you meant Mocara.

Same story as Imana.

Supraclavicular node, non-tender.

Adherent to the surrounding tissues.

- How big would you say?

- One centimeter.

I'll give it to you.

You can't, and you know it.

It's so close to his windpipe,

he'll choke to death...

before the cancer kills him.

It's not a weed, it's a tumor.

It can wait.

It's not a tumor,

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