Meet Dave

Dude, dude, no, l was, like,

"Yes, we do have nuclear missiles."

And he was all, like, "No, you don't."

And l was all, like,

"Yes, we do. Whatever."

And then l was, like,

"Well, what part of 'whatever'

"do you not get?"

Josh? Josh?

Hey! How many times have l told

you kids not to play ball in this alley?

-Mom !

-Are you all right?

L'm fine. lt wasn't a baseball.

There was this thing!

Lt came from space! lt almost hit me!

-A thing came from space?

-Yeah.

You have the biggest imagination, mister.

-But...

-Come here.

-l'm glad you're all right.

-But...

No buts.

lt's time to get ready for bed, please.

Here. And don't walk over there

until l pick up that glass, okay?

Awesome.

Knox. Dooley.

Got a report on some kind of fireball

or something like that

over on Liberty lsland. Check it out.

No way. A fireball. Cool.

We'll get right on it.

Sarge, can't you get

somebody else to handle it?

-Come on, we just pulled an all-nighter.

-l'm so sorry, Mr. Knox. Tell you what.

Lay down in my office,

and then l'll come by with your blankie,

and you can get yourself a nice nap.

Come on, it's gonna be great. A fireball?

How often do we get a call like that?

Do me a favor, okay?

Act like a cop and stop caring.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, are you all right?

Hello? Please don't be dead!

Oh, did you see that?

He came out of nowhere!

Lt kind of looked

like you sped up to hit him.

L was going for the parking spot!

Oh, my God.

Oh, Jesus!

Are you all right?

Are you okay? Hello?

Please say something.

Oh, my God, his foot!

l'll call an ambulance!

Oh, God.

Please stay alive, please stay alive,

please stay alive, please stay alive.

This is such bad karma from...

-Where did he go?

-l don't know.

Mr. Guy?

-This will take some time.

-Copy that.

All clear.

Repairs underway, sir.

Damage report.

Right Arm, all well.

Left Arm, ready.

-Casualties, Doctor?

-Abrasions, contusions.

Nothing significant, Captain.

Engineering?

Running diagnostics, sir.

Lieutenant Buttocks, what is your status?

Captain, we had a small gas leak.

lt was silent, but not deadly.

Well, crew, it seems

our ship has survived the impact.

Actually, diagnostics

are not encouraging, Captain.

This collision was unexpected,

so our impact shields weren't activated.

How long can we operate at full capacity?

Forty-eight Earth hours at most.

After that, system functions will fail.

-And our tracking computer?

-Down, sir.

That means we only have

the last known coordinates of the orb.

Lt can be anywhere within 10,000

square meters of our current location.

No. 2, Options?

We could continue on the mission, sir,

but it's extremely risky.

The prudent course would be

to return to our home planet, Nil,

and repair the ship.

Assemble the crew.

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for

an address by your esteemed captain!

This is it.

This is the moment

that we've all been training for.

We all know what's at stake.

Our planet is on the verge

of a catastrophic energy crisis.

The device we sent to this world

to drain its oceans

has been knocked off course

and is lost somewhere in this city.

Once it is found and deployed,

the salt from this world

shall power our home world

for ages to come.

Without it, ourpeople

willperish in less than one generation.

L will not permit that to happen.

We must succeed.

-For Nil.

-For Nil.

-For Nil.

-For Nil.

Back to your posts.

No. 3.

Do we have sufficient

linguistic information

to help communicate with these natives?

Yes. l tapped into their central

planetary databank, named "Google."

What a frivolous name

for such a vital function.

Well, if you prefer,

there's another called "Yahoo! "

Baffling.

-What about...

-Cultural and historical references?

-Already on it, Captain.

-Good.

-No. 4, is security prepared?

-Yes, sir.

My team can handle any threat

posed by these gargantuan savages.

-Good.

-lnitial reports confirm

that draining this planet's oceans

would have

a catastrophic effect on existing life.

We have orders, No. 3.

Our entire home world is depending on us.

Agreed.

We should not lament

the fates of these inferior creatures.

Lf the orb has fallen into their hands,

who knows for what nefarious purpose

they could be using it

at this very moment?

Mom, there's a drunk guy

in the alley again!

-That's him.

-Who?

-The guy l just hit with my car.

-You're kidding. Again?

Oh, l barely clipped that other guy.

Sir, coronal gas readings just spiked.

-The orb must be nearby.

-Hello?

Hello, sir, hi. Hello? Hi, there.

-Hello, sir? Hi, are you allright?

-Contact, everyone!

-Because youjust ran off.

-No. 17.

-Return to the ship.

-Copy.

L'm worried. l really feel terrible

about what just happened.

Can l call you an ambulance or something?

Any medical attention for... For your foot?

Your foot.

Our first verbal encounter.

Thank you for your concern.

Thank you for your concern.

Lt's way too high. More bass!

Thank you for your concern.

Level the frequency.

L'm all better now.

How hard did you hit this guy?

Lt's time for you to go

to school before you're late, okay?

Mom...

See how she squeezes the smaller

one's skull despite his protests.

-Stop! Stop!

-Such brutality!

-Go on. Goodbye.

-Stop!

Hey, safety first. And if those boys

are after you, you tell me!

-l'm calling their parents.

-Okay.

Would you like to come upstairs for

a glass of water, maybe? Anything?

L can help clean you up.

No, thank you. l am fine.

Lam in position.

Are you sure?

Okay, but, see, that's not fine.

So, maybe you should come upstairs,

or l can call an ambulance.

Sir, we cannot let her

contact the authorities.

Agreed. We will go in long enough

to put her mind at ease.

Yes, l will accompany you.

Thank you for your hospitality.

Good.

The thing about my car is,

you gotta pump the brakes.

L mean, l just got it back from the shop,

and l'm seriously considering

suing my mechanic,

because that was just crazy

about what happened.

Oh, sorry, right here! Oh, sorry, right here.

-Hey.

-Hey!

-How you doing?

-How are you?

Good. Good timing.

l got something for you.

Three tubes of cerulean blue.

-l just ran out.

-Hi. Mark Rhodes.

Why does he thrust his arm towards us?

Probably best to imitate him.

Hi. Mark Rhodes.

Lefty, huh? Hey.

-Allright.

-All right.

Okay.

-All right.

-All right.

Okay.

-Thanks again.

-Yeah.

-We're going right inside.

-All right, yeah.

Okay, here you go.

Sorry about the mess.

You know, this is sort of

a workspace/home combo thingy, thing.

Right Arm. This is unacceptable.

Sorry! The liquid shifts the equilibrium !

-l still seem to be a bit shaken up.

-Oh, crap.

-There, l feel much better now.

-Oh, good! That is great.

Great news. Good.

So then, you don't need to call

your lawyer, or anything crazy like that,

because that would be just pointless,

wouldn't it?

Good. Oh, l'm Gina, by the way.

Gina Morrison.

And you are?

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