Meet the Blacks Page #2

- Plum wine.

- You're looking good, too.

Lord, Jesus!

Baby.

All for you, my love.

Good lord, give me

some of that Chinese--

My fault.

I'm sorry, I can't play a little bit?

- Stop playing.

- She wanted a nigga.

She's my new friend.

- Leave her alone.

- I know, I know.

- I'm just kidding.

- Stop playing.

- He lie. He lie.

- I know he's lying.

- I know him.

- These manicure hoes is on me now.

You know what I'm saying?

That's what I'm talking about.

All he does

is jack off all day.

Okay, Carl.

Carl, I'm gonna need you...

to turn around

really slowly...

because you don't believe

when I tell you this.

- You see this tongue.

- He is so gross.

Ride my mustache.

- Ride-- Oh, sh*t!

- Cronut!

- Baby, that's not right.

- Did he have his little nuts out...

- just there in the window?

- No, his tongue was enough.

It's just wrong, baby.

I don't--

He's probably smelling

your panties in there...

- lying around the house.

- Oh, lord.

Man, hide your underwear

around the bedroom. Sh*t.

- Are you gonna answer that?

- Yeah, I got it.

Yeah, this might be--

Oh, that ain't nothing.

- Carl, pick up your phone.

- What?

I can't answer the phone.

Ain't nothing

but my friends from Chicago.

- What friends from Chicago?

- A bunch of drug dealers...

and all kind

of crazy motherfuckers...

baby mamas,

I can't answer the phone.

- That's why I moved out here.

- Okay, all done!

- Okay, Ming, I just need one more thing.

- $100.

$100.

$100 what'?

Oh, tonight Purge!

Killing, death.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait. Purge?

- Killing.

- I need to go home.

- Carl.

People keep saying Pur--

We in Beverly Hills.

This is a gated community.

We've got security.

We don't have no Purge problems.

Not tonight.

Need to go home.

- 100, please.

- Yeah.

- 100 in what?

- $100.

It's a Purge coming.

Ain't nothing

you can do with no $100.

- Once the Purge comes--

- Carl, cash, money!

Just pay her the $100,

please, baby.

- $100. Let me handle this.

- Ming.

Ming, listen to me.

Pay me cash!

I told you

that I was gonna pay you in credit.

Credit is king

in America, okay?

Pay me in cash, or I purge

your ass tonight, b*tch.

- Come on, you done disrespecting me.

- What the hell?

Just pay her.

- You said you were rich.

- I tried to give you a chance...

but you disrespected me.

Get your ass out of here,

both of y'all.

I'm gonna f*** your wife!

I'm gonna crush her p*ssy!

Back up, Wesley Snipes

and his new wife.

What?

Who is that African man?

Wesley Snipes.

He just got out of jail.

You didn't hear--

- Carl.

- I ain't gotta play.

Baby-

stop-

Come on.

Don't do that. I can't do it.

- Come on.

- Can't do what?

- What is the deal?

- Who was that man?

I don't know who they was.

They's people

from my past, okay?

It wasn't

Wesley Snipes, though.

I mean, he was black

as hell like him, but it wasn't him.

Carl, the only thing I need

to know from you right now...

I swear you better not lie.

- Do we have this money?

- We got the money.

Look, your ass is standing

in a big-ass mansion.

I bought you

a brand-new car.

What the hell?

What are you worried about?

I'm worried

about how you got it.

What did you do

to get it?

Okay, what did I do?

I did a little dancing

in Atlanta.

Male gigoloing.

Did something strange

for a little piece of change.

No.

No, for real.

Look, I got a chain

of Wing and Things that I landed.

That's what I'm doing.

I'm going around...

hooking up wiring

all over from here to San Diego.

Baby, I want

to believe you...

but I can't keep

uprooting this family...

in the middle

of the night again.

I can't do that, okay?

These kids need to trust me.

They need to believe

that we're in a family...

that we're a unit,

that they're secure.

- I don't feel that right now.

- Babe, the kids do trust you.

They hate me, Carl.

The kids don't hate you.

No, they don't.

You guys just need...

to get to know

each other a little bit.

- I'm trying.

- And I know that you're getting upset.

It's irritating you

to see little Carl Jr...

running around here

with a little Batman outfit...

with his little

ass cheeks cut out.

- It's a vampire.

- Okay, a vampire outfit.

And Allie's running around

with Mr. Frosty...

- whoever the f*** he is.

- His name is Freeze.

Yeah, I'ma freeze his ass.

That's what I'ma do.

Please trust me on this.

- I have trusted you.

- Well, keep trusting me, then.

We got

the Wings and Things...

we got the house,

we got the car.

Look, let's enjoy this.

- You living the life.

- Okay.

I'm gonna believe you.

- Believe me.

- Bye-bye.

Carl Black!

And you are

Mexican and black.

- Carl, goodbye.

- I'll be right back, all right?

We interrupt

our program...

to bring you

this important message.

As everyone knows,

tonight is the Purge.

- Oh, my God.

- Ana' you know why we gotta purge.

First of all...

for all of you

who keep thieving...

killing, selling drugs

that we can '2' tax...

for all you who ain't

paying your child support...

but just bought a brand-new Xbox

and some Jordans.

I'm talking to bankers

making a cool million...

each time you sneeze...

while the public can't afford

to pay the mortgages...

that you sold them.

So tonight,

as Americans...

we Purge-

Hey, if you ain't done

nothing wrong...

you got nothing

to worry about.

Purge ain't about you.

It's about the rest of you.

And you know who you are.

Good thing

we're in Beverly Hills.

Yeah.

Knock, knock.

Yeah!

They gonna love this

back in Chicago.

Somebody's got to do it.

Yeah, we're in the money!

We got money!

Where'd you get

all this money from?

- Damn, girl!

- Hold on, hold on, girl.

- Hold on.

- All right.

What?

Who is this?

Hey, girl,

let me call you back.

You better call Freezee.

You know he be tripping.

- All right.

- Love you, girl.

All right, love you, too.

Bye!

Bye!

This is some dumb sh*t.

Big Sean!

Oh, nigga,

I thought you was Big Sean.

Freezee!

What are you doing here?

You scared me half to death.

You know I couldn't be

in Chicago without you, baby.

I'm rich.

If you say you're my friend,

you're my friend!

My dad!

Baby, how did you get here?

- You don't have a car.

- Baby, with love like ours...

I don't need a car.

I took the Greyhound.

- You took the Greyhound?

- Three days and three nights...

just like Jesus Christ did

in the desert with Moses...

Adam and Eve.

"Holy-lujah."

Baby.

Oh, my God.

If Dad catches you here...

you know

he's gonna kill you.

Look, I'ma take

my chances with your dad.

Matter of fact,

it might be nice to see him.

- Pop him one time.

- What?

- Call him "pop" one time.

- Stop it.

- Pop that nigga one time.

- Baby, stop it.

- Allie Black!

- I've been going to church for you.

Well, then

why did Keisha say...

you was with that thot Valerie

last night, then?

- Keisha be talking bullshit!

- Nah.

You can't be

believing Keisha, man.

Baby, I love you.

Look at me, look at me.

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