Meet the Parents

(Choir) # Show me a man

# Who's gentle and kind

# And l'll show you

# A loser

# Now show me a man

# Who takes what he wants

# Oh, how exciting

# Oh, how exciting

# So the poets sing

# When you're a fool in love

# And nothing goes the way you plan

# And no one cares

# And no one understands

# That you're a fool

# And you're in love

# Never another spring for you

# Never a robin to sing for you

# You're out there on your own

# When you're a fool in love

# When you're a fool in love

# Seems like the skies

# Are always grey

# You turn around,

there's someone in your way

# And it's you

# And you're in love

# Sometimes you think

that your luck has changed

# And a rainbow explodes

'cross the sky

# But when you're a fool in love

# You'll be a fool

till the day you die #

(Man ) l know we haven't been

together that long,

but these last 10 months have been

the happiest of my life.

You're not only the person l love,

you're also my best friend...

and l want to spend

the rest of my life with you.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

Seriously, do you think

that sounds good?

- No!

- Really? Cos l think that...

No!

Oh! Oh! Sorry. Sorry.

Sometimes these catheters

can pinch a little bit.

Well, thanks. l appreciate it.

You got a real gentle touch

there, Doctor.

She won't be able to say no.

Actually, l'm a nurse.

Doctor'll be right in.

- Good luck, Greg.

- Thanks, Cameron.

OK, it's time for

our problem of the week.

l want you to pick out

your problem,

a problem that's been

bothering you all week.

With your eyes still closed...

l want you to picture

that problem in your mind.

Pretend it's right there

in front of you.

..not only my best friend,

but you're also

the person that l...

want to spend the rest

of my life with.

l love you. Will you...marry me?

Now l want you to scare

your problems away.

- l want you to say "boo"!

- Boo!

- BOO!

- BOO!

All right, you guys are great.

Very good.

l will see you guys after lunch.

Pam, isn't that your special friend?

Yeah, l think so.

- Why don't you talk to him?

- You think l should?

(Kids ) Yeah!

Come here!

(Giggling)

- Hi, sweetie.

- How're you doing?

l was in the area, got off early,

thought you'd want to go eat.

That's very sweet.

What a nice surprise.

Oh, shoot!

l forgot to change my shoes.

That's OK. You know l can't resist

a man in nurse's shoes.

l got my sneakers here.

Let me change. lt'll take a second.

Huh! OK.

- Honey?

- Hmm?

- Pam.

- Yeah?

- l love you.

- l love you, too.

Come on, sweetie. l got a half-hour

before l have to be back.

So you wanna go have lunch?

(Chuckling) What are you doing?

Um, nothing. l just love you so much.

These last 10 months...have been

the happiest of my life.

Yeah, they've been amazing, but...

What's going on?

Nothing. l just...l just feel like,

you know, we're so close.

You're my best friend, and you're

also the woman that l love, and...

You OK, sweetie? You're acting weird.

l just got a crick in my neck.

l did CPR

on a 300-pound crack head today.

- Want me to massage your neck?

- No, no.

Honey, your kids are

trying to tell you something!

- (Phone )

- Oh, hold on.

Oh, it's my sister. Hello. Hi.

You're engaged? Congratulations!

You're getting married in two weeks?

That's...a little soon.

Mom and Dad...really don't know

Bob very well. Dad was OK with this?

Wow. That was very thoughtful of him.

l can't believe he knew

to ask Dad's permission.

Yeah.

l'm just here with Greg.

He's taking me to lunch. He's OK.

l know you've got to go.

All right. l love you. Bye.

So, what's going on?

Debbie's marrying that guy?

Yeah. ln two weeks.

Dr Bob of Denver. lsn't that great?

Yeah, that's... Didn't they

just meet a few months ago?

Yeah, but he asked her

and she said yes.

Well, he asked my dad first.

Yeah, l overheard that.

So he had to ask his permission?

No, he didn't have to.

Bob just understood

that Dad appreciates that.

- Mm-hm.

- Deb said that Dad loves him.

Bob bought him the perfect gift

that just won him over.

Really. Huh, a gift.

(Pam ) ls it OK to X-ray this?

(Greg) Yeah. lt won't mutate.

- Sir, that's not gonna fit.

- Wait a second.

lt's too big. You got to check it.

(Beep )

Raise your arms, sir.

Look, l got an engagement ring

in the bag,

so l can't open it here,

can't l just carry it on?

lf it don't fit through the frame,

you ain't carrying it on the plane.

531, New York, La Guardia. Check it.

Wait, wait, excuse me...

Don't worry,

it'll be waiting for you there.

(PA) 'Welcome to La Guardia Airport.

Please follow the signs...'

Excuse me. Hi. You lost my bag

and there's a diamond ring inside it.

l didn't lose your anything, sir.

Put your address here

and we'll ship it when it surfaces.

And if it doesn't?

Am l supposed to go the whole weekend

with just these clothes?

(Pam ) lt's great. l just thought

you were getting champagne.

Trust me,

your dad's gonna love this gift.

Well, don't forget he's retired.

He was in the rare flower business,

he'll be interested.

Sounds like they're hard to please.

No, not at all.

He's the sweetest man in the world.

- He's gonna love you. l promise.

- As much as he loves Dr Bob?

(Pam ) Easy on the sarcasm.

Humour is wasted on my parents.

(Greg) What, are they Amish?

(Greg) OK, no jokes.

- What are you doing?

- What?

My dad sees smoking

as a sign of weakness.

- OK, l'll leave them in the car.

- No! He'll check there.

- Oh, gosh...

- What...?!

Yeah, the roof

is probably a better idea.

Oh, and...

we're not living together.

- l thought you said you told them.

- Well...

Hi, Daddy! Hi!

- Oh, l missed you so much, Pamcake.

- l missed you too, Popjack.

(Kissing)

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

(Both) Shortstack, shortstack,

coming up!

Pop-pop, pop-pop, pop-pop-pop!

Where's my widdle girl?.

Mommy! My mom!

Oh, you look so beautiful!

(Pam ) So do you! Look at you!

Oh, l'm sorry.

Mom, Dad, this is Greg.

- Hi, l'm Pam's father, Jack Byrnes.

- lt's great to meet you.

- l'm Dina. Welcome to Oyster Bay.

- Thanks.

What you driving, a Ford?

Uh, yeah. lt's a Taurus.

We were gonna get a mid-size,

but l figure, hey,

pulling down decent bucks,

might as well go all out

and pop for the full-size.

True. lnteresting colour.

You pick it?

Oh, no, the guy at the counter. Why?

Well, they say geniuses pick green.

- But you didn't pick it.

- (Dina ) Jack!

(Sniffing)

Oh, yucky!

What smells of old sour milk?

Oh, poor Greg got spit up on

by a baby.

He didn't!

He did, Ma, at Lost Luggage.

The airline lost his bag.

Oh! They didn't!

Yeah, they did.

- What about you, honey?

- No, l carried on.

That's my girl!

lt'll turn up, l'm sure.

And Greg, meanwhile,

anything you need, just ask, huh?

That's right. Mi casa es su casa.

Oh, thanks, Jack. You, too.

Yeah, ha ha!

Hey, Momma, looks great!

Really?

We spruced up for the wedding.

This is so nice!

(Jack) We like it.

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